Jana Says

Living life from cover to cover

Friday six-pack: 2017, v2

by Jana 13 Comments

What a week. Good news: my child was invited apply for the National Elementary School Honor Society (didn’t know this was a thing but I am incredibly proud of her). Bad news: Barack and Michelle are leaving the White House. I can’t even think about it anymore. Did you see that speech? My god, are they amazing (check out Ali’s post on them because I echo her sentiments). Other nonimportant news is what follows:

Reading. Finished Kissing in America and But What if We’re Wrong? Picked up Bowling Alone and Idaho and some NetGalley books including the new Graeme Simsion. Thanks to everyone who participated in Show Us Your Books and, completely apropos of all the book love, the next one is on 2/14. This might be the only year I celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Watching. The OA. I knew absolutely nothing about this show before I started watching other than people could not stop raving about it. I gave it a shot. I get why they raved.

Listening. I was completely stoked to hear that Halestorm had a new album of covers so of course I had to listen to it the day it was released. The one stand out, for me, was their version of “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover” (original by Sophie B. Hawkins). I love when Lzzy actually sings and shows how good she really is and makes a song her own. The rest? Meh.

Ranting. I’m not going to launch into another political but please, read Steph’s post for all the reasons I’m pissed and you should be, too. In the Gettysburg address, Lincoln said that this is a government by the people, of the people, for the people. What a beautiful, eloquent sentiment that is completely being shit on by the people elected to carry out that ideal. What’s happening now is a government of vendettas, agendas, and gaslighting. I’m frustrated and angry and I want to cry, daily, because I cannot comprehend WHY they’re not listening. I can’t understand WHY getting revenge is more important than protecting our country and our citizens. I can’t fathom WHY they hate the way they do. I know that trying to understand the why is futile and I never will but I figure if I can, it might help me get through the next four years with my sanity in tact. And let’s not even go into that Utah high school assignment. It is Friday, after all.

Anticipating. April 4th. Because that is the official date for the return of Prison Break! If you’ve read here for any amount of time, you know my love of Wentworth Miller runs deep and knowing that he, and that show, are coming back to TV makes me insanely happy.

Laughing. 

Have a great weekend! I’ll be in Atlantic City with the child for a cheerleading competition. Wish her and her squad luck as they’re competing for a bid to a huge national competition in Disney World. I’ll be sharing some pictures over on Instagram if you want to follow along (can’t post videos, though, until the end of the season). If not, I’ll see you on Tuesday!

 

 

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Smash the patriarchy. Stop the bullshit.

by Jana 14 Comments

Before we get started, I just want to say that I had intended to start this post with some sort of definition of “smash the patriarchy” that was better than what I could come up with. So I Googled it. Pro tip: Don’t do that. It will send you into a rage you didn’t think possible because some of the definitions and opinions floating around are exactly why this phrase needs to exist. 

Okay. Confession time. I’ve never really considered myself a feminist. I mean, I didn’t NOT consider myself one but I never put myself in the same category as the women out there campaigning and championing women’s rights. I mostly kept my thoughts and feelings to myself, even though I’m a raging liberal with a need to see justice and fairness and equality. I didn’t find it necessary to speak up or out or engage with people who are so blind as to see why equality and diversity are essential or have overt misogynistic or homophobic or racist tendencies (mostly because I hate confrontation but also because sometimes it’s easier to smile, nod, and walk away than engage. You know who you can have a conversation with and with whom you cannot).

But now I’m raising a daughter in the Trump era and my God, I just cannot keep my mouth shut anymore. 

Because I refuse to have her believe she can’t do anything she wants or be anything she wants or look anyway she wants simply because someone else told her it’s not ladylike or, the even more demeaning, “girls don’t do that”. Oh, really? Says who? I certainly didn’t tell her that. So who the fuck are you to say it? (And what the fuck is “ladylike” anyway? It’s a bullshit term that needs to go.)

Because I refuse to have believe her body doesn’t belong to her. And it’s bullshit that this country is passing laws that takes her autonomy away. 

Because I refuse to have her believe she has to be ashamed of who she loves, whomever that may be in the future. And it’s bullshit that gay marriage is still up for debate. Or that it’s even called gay marriage. Why can’t it just be marriage?

Because I refuse to to have her believe that she can’t change the world if she wants to. And it’s bullshit that people are still threatened by powerful women. Aren’t there countries in the word LED by women? (And hey there, RBG and Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama. I see you. My daughter sees you. And we thank you.)

Because I refuse to have her believe that our laws are purposefully designed against her and she has to fight for equality. And it’s bullshit that women still don’t receive the same pay and are told things like take off your engagement ring before a job interview (it’s true. I don’t even want to link to it because it’s so damn offensive on every level possible, including his response to criticism). WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? 

Because I refuse to have her believe she doesn’t have choices. And it’s bullshit to think she’ll be scrutinized regardless of what she chooses. Women, this one’s on us, too. The mommy wars and mommy shaming and sanctimommies and career moms vs. SAHM and moms vs. non-moms needs to fucking stop. PRONTO. We need to support each other and stand up for one another. You don’t have to agree with someone’s choice, and it might not be what you would do for yourself, but you do have to respect it. All of these problems will persist like herpes if we can’t get it together and unite. 

I know that the ideals in this country run deep. It’s how things have operated for…well, basically forever. But we’ve changed our minds before. Women can vote now. There’s term limits on the presidency. Hell, prohibition existed and then a few years later, it didn’t. Because people realize that once worked no longer does. Or that some laws are just fucking stupid.

That’s where we stand now. 

What used to work in this country doesn’t work anymore. 

Now is the time to redefine old fashioned ideas, ideals, and vocabulary. 

Now is the time we smash the patriarchy.

Now is the time we stop the bullshit.

Smashing the patriarchy isn’t about violence or hating men. It’s about eliminating the double standards and nonsense laws and absurd standards placed on women (and minorities and any other disenfranchised groups). It’s about making the elite, white men given the enormous responsibility of creating our laws understand that different means just that. DIFFERENT.

It doesn’t mean bad or threatening or scary.

And different deserves respect, rights, and protection, too.

 

Friday six-pack: The first of 2017

by Jana 13 Comments

Reading. Finished Today Will be Different and Salvage the Bones. Started But What if We’re Wrong? and Private Citizens (I’m trying to only read one book at a time but But What if We’re Wrong is way too intense and thought-provoking to read before bed). Picked up Blood Men, Imagine Me Gone, and Nearly Gone. Show Us Your Books is this Tuesday! Our first one in 2017!

Writing. If you guys don’t know, I currently have a books column over at my friends’ site, Adulting. This week I introduced my Adulting reading challenge. If you wouldn’t mind, please go check it out, share it as you see fit, and if you’d like, join the challenge (it’s pretty low stress, averages to one book per month, and I’m allowing doubling up on categories. Like, I’m reading My Antonia for classic book and one written before 1950). Since I created the challenge, I’m participating in it so we can work through it together (I’m also doing one with my library and Erin peer pressured me into the Aussie Authors one, too. I’m only aiming for 3 books in that one, though. And two are authors I planned to read anyway).

Watching. On a whim, I started River on Netflix. It’s this weird British crime drama about a detective named River who is basically going crazy, hearing voices and being followed around by dead people while he’s still trying to function in reality. The main guy is the guy who was Professor Lambeau in Good Will Hunting and one of the brothers from Ray Donovan is in it, too. It’s only 6 episodes, I’m halfway through, and I really like it. Of course I do.

Not joining. One of the moms at the child’s cheer gym invited me to join her DietBet. I’m politely ignoring declining. It’s not that I don’t like the idea, and the thought of earning money for continuing to do something I’m doing anyway is appealing, but I’m so uncompetitive that I don’t want to be bothered. Also, I don’t want to take selfies of myself in tight clothing and post it for people to see and I can’t understand why people are actually okay with doing that. I don’t even like taking selfies when I’m in regular clothing.

Listening. No new podcasts to speak of as I’m still trying to catch up from not listening to anything over the 10 or so days the family was on vacation but I have been compulsively listening to Spotify. Specifically, Shinedown radio. For some reason, when I pick this station, Spotify insists I like Nickelback (I don’t) and Daughtry (I do) by putting dozens of their songs in the queue (thank god for the remove from playlist option). When that happens, I sometimes get to hear songs I’ve never heard before including this one from Daughtry that I *might* put on repeat. (I’ve also been listening to a lot of Phil Collins because, you know, balance)

Laughing. 

 

That’s all for this first (back to school and work) week of 2017. Preparing for relatively low-key weekend with lots of cold weather (or, as I call it, the perfect reason to not leave the house). Hope you all have a great weekend and I’ll see you on Tuesday for Show Us Your Books!

 

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30 Day Challenge #1: Spending Freeze

by Jana 27 Comments

Happy New Year, friends! I hope you all had a fun night, doing whatever you did. Me? I went to a party, sans husband who was home with a fever, for a few hours. Fun fact: it was a costume party and I, who never dresses in costume, dressed up. I went as Janeane Garofalo’s character from the movie Mystery Men. Never heard of it? If it helps, neither have most people and absolutely no one knew who I was. So that was fun. Also, I couldn’t drink because no designated driver. So that was fun, too.

But now that’s over and we’re getting down to the business of the year. And while I have no goals or resolutions, I am choosing to focus on improvement and habit changes. I wasn’t quite sure how I wanted to approach this and then I thought: 30 DAY CHALLENGES! I love the idea of 30 day challenges because I really can’t think of anything I can’t do for a month. Hell, I made it, successfully, through a Whole30. If I can do that, I can do anything.

I haven’t fully mapped out all the 30 day challenges for the year (I am taking suggestions if you have them), although I do have January and February planned. I’ll keep you in suspense for February. As for January, well, that’s what we’re going to talk about now. 

Given the hemorrhaging of money that happens in December, and the fact that I have become completely oblivious and unintentional as to how I spend my money and what I spend it on, I’ve decided I’m doing a 30 day spending freeze for January. I’m not doing it save or pay down debt or any reason other than I need to start paying attention again. I have had it with haphazardly buying random crap and wondering a) why I have it and b) where all my money went. The moment that made me realize this is how I needed to start the new year? I recently cleaned out all my makeup and assorted other products and realized how many duplicates–unnecessary duplicates–I have and it’s all as a result of mindless spending (you know how it goes. Walk into Bath and Body to buy one thing, smell all the scents, buy 27 bottles of antibacterial soap instead of the thing you meant to buy). Apparently, that’s where my money goes (also to Wawa or Amazon or Walgreen’s. Seriously. I added it up. It’s disgusting and I have no idea what I bought most of the time).

So in an effort to use what I have, regain purpose and intention in how I use my money, and stop wasting it, I’m pushing pause on my spending. I have bigger plans for my income. I want to do that stuff instead.

My rules for my freeze are simple:

  1. Don’t spend money on unplanned expenses
  2. Gift cards are cheating
  3. Stuff other people buy me is not (ex., husband bringing me coffee)

Easy enough to follow. I think. I mean, they’re not difficult nor are they expansive or unreasonable or too restrictive. I guess that’s what happens when you make rules for yourself.

I’m confident I picked a shit month to do this. I mean, is there really ever a good month to do a spending freeze because, you know, life, but this month is extra bad. We have 2 cheer competitions, one of them a 2 day one in Atlantic City, NJ (please, don’t be jealous of my trip to Atlantic City in the middle of January. I know it sounds incredibly appealing), and my dad’s birthday. I can plan as much as possible for these events, and I’m perfectly capable of saying no, but sometimes it’s exponentially easier to say yes. And while my bank account won’t necessarily suffer from saying yes, it’ll definitely be a setback in mindset. But if I know it’s a setback, and I choose to do it anyway, do I still learn from it?

I feel this is a chicken and egg discussion and I think I’ll stop now.

So that’s it for my January challenge. I’ll report back at the end of the month to let you know how I did.

Have you guys ever done a spending freeze? How’d it go for you?

 

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Friday Six-Pack: The last of 2016

by Jana 4 Comments

This is the last recap of 2016 because next week, with the child and the husband both on vacation, I will be spending (even more) time away from my laptop to hang with them. Of course I’ll be around on Tuesday for our second Show Us Your Books this month, recapping our favorites from the year but other than that, I’ll be (even more) absent. I’m looking forward to coming back here in January with renew purpose and presence. Well, that’s the plan anyway. We’ll see what actually happens. 

Reading. Darktown by Thomas Muller. Picked up Hillbilly Elegy and Today Will Be Different. Was strong armed persuaded by my favorite librarian into doing a reading challenge she created. Also created a reading challenge which I’ll share with you guys when it’s all ready to go (it’s for the site I write for rather than this one).

Listening. No new podcasts to share with you guys this week and as far as music, I’ve been sticking to my standards and my Spotify most played in 2016 with a splash of nontraditional Christmas music thrown in. It’s been an uneventful week.

Watching. Home Alone x45 million. It’s the child’s favorite and she doesn’t have HBO or a DVD player in her room so we all have to suffer. Also Singles. I fucking love that movie.

Giving. Since Giving Tuesday, we’ve also donated to a scholarship established by the husband’s fraternity alumni, BuildOn, and, thanks to Instagram, I learned about a new local charity that gives Christmas gifts to kids in foster care who are too old for Toys for Tots. We picked a 17 year old girl in an out of state placement because those kids have a special place in my heart, and we went all out for her. She deserves it, and I’m grateful we were able to afford it this year.

Celebrating. Most of y’all know how disappointed and angry and frustrated I am at our government. It’s revolting what’s happening. However, this week, my school district just passed a referendum that will build 3 new schools and do capital improvements on 2 of them. Where I live is exploding, population-wise, and we desperately need the new schools to accommodate all the kids. Overcrowding presents a host of problems, and these kids deserve quality education that overcrowding will prevent. It thrills me to no end that others agree with me and that this passed by a wide margin. It gives me hope that, despite what’s going on at a national level, on a local level, people are practical and invested and make good choices.

Laughing.

That’s it. I hope you guys have an awesome holiday, whatever you do or don’t celebrate, and that you have a fun (or uneventful and boring) New Year’s, and I’ll see you in January!

 

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