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Why I quit my 40 by 40

February 7, 2017 by Jana 19 Comments

Today was supposed to be Judging Covers but things happen so we’re talking about why I quit my 40 by 40 instead. Judging Covers will be here on Thursday.

Like every good blogger, I established my 40 by 40 list and shared it for all the world to see. I think I created it when I was 37, almost 38, giving me more than 2 years to accomplish it (although I put that I had 52 months. I should have put “relearn math” on the list). It wasn’t a difficult list, with mostly easy items to check off or accomplish. I made some progress and then, about a year ago, I said fuck it and quit the whole damn thing.

Deciding to quit it wasn’t something I hemmed and hawed about. I didn’t work through all the pros and cons or have a long, drawn out discussion with friends or my husband or even here. I simply decided I didn’t want to do it anymore and let it go.

But since some of you asked why, here’s the main reasons:

  1. It was too much pressure. I started to feel obligated to do things that maybe I didn’t care about anymore and that didn’t make them fun.
  2. I hated most of the items. Admittedly, it was a stupid list and at this point, almost nothing on it seemed either feasible or like something I wanted to do.
  3. It was arbitrary. When I created it, I threw things at a wall to see what stuck. Sort of like I do with spaghetti. I didn’t spend much time thinking it through and what came out was a big old mess of shit. This is probably what led me to hate the items.
  4. It was impractical. There were items on there that had absolutely no way of coming true given my propensity for laziness and introvert tendencies.
  5. I don’t think of 40 as a deadline. I know it’s one of those milestone, big deal birthdays but honestly? I’m totally fine with turning 40 and I certainly don’t think that I have to stop trying new things because of my age.
  6. It seemed too final. Like, what do I do when that’s all done? Goals and new things should be fluid rather than fixed. Crossing off the items gave me a sense of accomplishment but then what? Is this list really all I want to do?
  7. It was too bucket listy. I don’t believe in bucket lists and a 40 by 40 made it sound like my life was ending (see explanation #5). If I had a list, it needs to be more of the to-do type and without finite deadlines.
  8. I usually forgot about it. When making decisions, I rarely referred to the list. I did what I wanted with no regard for any type of progress.
  9. I didn’t care anymore. Honestly, it stopped being important to me to work through it.

So there you go. That’s why I gave it up.

I don’t necessarily feel freer that I don’t have it anymore but I definitely feel less obligated. I still want to do check off many of the items but I’ll get to it when I get to it and that’s fine by me.

How about you guys? Do you have a 40 by 40 or 30 by 30 or any other age related goals list? If you had one and quit like I did, why did you?

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: goals

Friday six-pack, 2017 v5

February 3, 2017 by Jana 15 Comments

Me, every time I look at the news:

HOW DOES IT NEVER STOP?!

Because, in addition to the trash fire of my government, we had a little prison riot here in Delaware that resulted in the death of a corrections officer. Oh, and the prison? A mere 10 minutes from my house. And since it’s a small state, OF COURSE we knew people who were in there when it started.

At least I had the news of Viola Davis playing Ruth in the movie adaptation of Small Great Things as a distraction.

Other than that, let’s see what happened:

Reading. Finished Idaho. Restarted The Lilac Girls and The Best of Adam Sharp (ARC from NetGalley). Picked Up Thirteen Reasons Why and All the Ugly and Wonderful Things.

Watching. Did I even turn on the TV this week? I don’t think I did. So nothing to report here.

Listening. No new podcasts that I listened to but I am ridiculously excited for the new one from the Serial producers. It’s called S-Town, it’s a true crime podcast about a small town in rural Alabama, and it releases in March. So put that on your radar.

Quitting. My 40 by 40. I actually quit is about a year ago but I’m now announcing it formally and officially. I’ll explain why I quit in another post.

Planning. Speaking of my 40th birthday, I have no idea what I want to do for it. I know I want to travel. I was hoping to be able to fulfill to-do list item #1, a trip to Australia, but I’m not quite sure how to logistically make it work. I mean, I understand the idea of getting on a plane and flying there but it’s so much bigger than that. So I’ll have to settle for another place that’s logistically easier but I don’t know where that is.

Laughing. Have a great weekend! I’ll be in Baltimore for another two day cheer comp and hopefully be home in time to watch the puppy bowl. See you on Tuesday for Judging Covers!

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: Entertainment, favorites, weekly wrap-up

January spending freeze results and February’s challenge

February 2, 2017 by Jana 14 Comments

Roughly a month ago, I shared that I was doing a spending freeze in January. The purpose was to regain mindful control of my spending. This didn’t mean I couldn’t spend money; it simply meant there had to be a reason for it and if I couldn’t give myself a good enough reason, or there was no point other my own laziness or inability to control myself, I prohibited myself from the purchase. I didn’t care about savings or anything else other than getting back into the habit of paying attention to my money.

I gave myself 3 rules:

  1. Don’t spend money on unplanned expenses
  2. Gift cards are cheating
  3. Stuff other people buy me is not (ex., husband bringing me coffee)

That’s it. That’s all I had to do. Not difficult at all, right?

Right.

So let’s talk about how I did.

I did buy some things:

  • 1/5ish (I forgot to write down the exact date but it was early in the month): $26.99 at Ulta. This was for gigantic bottles of my shampoo and conditioner that ordinarily run around $28/bottle and were on sale plus I had $9.50 in coupons and reward points. I now do not have to buy shampoo or conditioner until maybe the summer since I had bought two bottles at the same price at the end of December.
  • 1/9: $12 for a subscription to The New Yorker. I read a ton of articles from this magazine and I was tired of running out of my monthly free ones. So now they come to me, unlimited.
  • 1/13: $255 for tickets to see Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden. I know. It’s a lot for a concert. But it’s item #2 on my life to-do list to see Billy Joel at home (I’ve seen him in Philly twice) because growing up in New York, he’s basically a religion. When the tickets became available, we bought them without thinking twice.
  • 1/14: $12 on a bow keychain for my daughter. She’s a cheerleader. We were at a competition. This happens sometimes. I think I was also still on my Billy Joel high because I ordinarily have zero problems telling her no.
  • 1/25: $2.39 for an iced coffee and $14.40 for a book (Bottomland by Michelle Hoover). The coffee because I just wanted it and the book because it’s not available at my library in any form except audiobook and I don’t do those. I also supported a local indie bookstore by doing so.

Total without concert tickets (I’m not including them since they were planned for; I just wasn’t sure when we’d actually be able to buy them): $67.78

I’m completely pleased with how I did and since the point was to fix a bad habit, I’d say I succeeded. I don’t see myself going back to what I was doing because it didn’t leave money for the things I actually want to buy and now it’s there.

Which is awesome.

30 Day Challenge #2

With that out of the way, let’s talk about my February challenge.

This month, I’m not so much aiming to fix a bad habit but more to use up what I have and get my reading pile back down to something normal (rather than the impending avalanche that lives on my nightstand). To accomplish that, I’m going on a library diet. 

It’s true.

For the next 30 days, I am not allowed to put a book on hold (the ones that are currently there are fine), get books from NetGalley, Kindle First, friends (except one from Steph that we talked about last month), or anywhere else. I currently have 6 library books on my nightstand, 5 more on hold, 4 NetGalley books, and roughly 2394370 books I’ve bought. It’s out of hand and I need to rein it in. I have no shortage of what to read not to mention my stacks are anxiety inducing and I’m three books short of having to move my nightstand lamp to the floor to make room.

If I’m being honest, I’m panicked as hell at the thought of not putting books on hold but it’s become a legit problem. I read fast but not that fast and book FOMO is real. I used to not care and now I care too much. I need to stop caring and read what I want, when I want.

February’s challenge should help with that.

That’s it. Wish me luck!

Have you ever done a library diet? How’d it go? Any helpful hints?

 

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Filed Under: Books, Life Tagged With: books, challenges

Add It to My List

January 31, 2017 by Jana 18 Comments

Okay, so this linkup is supposed to all of our favorites and things we recommend to our friends in real life. I’m struggling HARD with these rules because I’m not a recommender. I like what I like and assume other people do, too, and unless someone asks, I don’t offer opinions on what they should watch or use or listen to or whatever. I’m all for receiving recommendations, and I have no trouble asking for them, but giving them? Not so much.

But because I love Lauren (and I’m assuming I’d love Bre, too, if we knew each other but we don’t yet) I dug deep and came up with a list of my favorites (no books are on the list. I KNOW. But everyone is so different that it’s hard for me to give blanket recommendations for books) in a variety of categories and in no particular order (there are no affiliate links. These are just products I love).

Eat, Drink, and Be Lauren

I also want to make a note about cruelty free stuff. I try hard–REALLY HARD–to purchase cruelty free products. Some of the brands at one point did not test on animals and I think now they might but not in the U.S. and I’m so damn confused. I’m all for finding substitutes if they’re available and affordable and if you know of any, please share them.

Makeup and stuff

  1. Too Faced Better Than Sex mascara. Pricey but worth every damn penny. See also: Too Faced palettes.
  2. Biolage Colorlast shampoo and conditioner. I love my hair and I love the way these products treat my hair so it’s an expense I don’t mind.
  3. OGX Coconut Miracle Oil body lotion.  Smells amazing and you can get it Walgreen’s. Mid-range price.
  4. NYX Butter Gloss. Pretty much the only lip gloss that’s not sticky, that lasts forever, and is crazy affordable. See also: NYX eye liner.
  5. Wet and Wild Under the Sheets makeup remover wipes. My daughter uses these to take off her competition makeup and they are beasts. They remove most of the glitter without a problem, they don’t dissolve or shred, and you can find them anywhere.
  6. e.l.f. brushes. Cheap, sturdy, excellent.

Food and drink

  1. Starbucks iced unsweetened green tea. I do not like their coffee but I will drink this like nobody’s business.
  2. This recipe for grain free chocolate chip cookies. You can take my flour but you can’t take my cookies.
  3. This recipe for grain free chicken and cashews. So delicious I never order this dish from a restaurant anymore.
  4. Reese’s peanut butter cups. They are my most favoritest ever and if someone ever surprsied me these with these and an iced Starbucks green tea, I would love them forever.
  5. Ranch chicken tacos. A nice twist on tacos and they take about 9 minutes to make. You mix the taco seasoning and ranch dressing with the cooked chicken and slop into a shell and top with cheddar cheese. If you’re feeling ambitious, you can bake it in the oven for about 5 minutes so the shell doesn’t fall apart.
  6. A crockpot. Nothing makes me feel like I have my life together more than when I put dinner in the crockpot.

Everything else

  1. Amazon Smile. A simple way to donate money to charity with stuff I buy anyway.
  2. Josh and His Critters on IG. Tina is the woman behind the account and it’s based on her rescue group which she started a few years ago after rescuing a puppy with the cleft palate. She now rescues the worst of the worst, medically, on death row in various CA shelters and posts all the updates on the dogs (and various other creatures) she’s saved. What she does is amazing and I wish I could donate all the time
  3. Baddiewinkle on IG. Please, if you know what’s good for you, follow this woman if you don’t already. She is my absolute #lifegoals
  4. True Crime Garage, All the Books, Crimetown, and Homecoming for the podcasts.
  5. Sneaky Pete, Bosch, Goliath on Amazon. Kimmy Schmidt, Bloodline, House of Cards, OITNB, Stranger Things on Netflix. Better Call Saul, American Crime, Billions, John Oliver, Silicon Valley on all the other TV. Too many documentaries to list.
  6. These two songs if you’re someone who is inspired and reassured by music:

Needing recommendations

Help on the following, please:

  1. Non-UV gel nail polish. This chipping shit is out of control
  2. Non-true crime or food documentaries. It’s making me not want to ever eat or leave my house again.
  3. Kindle or Kindle paperwhite. My iPad is dying and I’m not sure how much more I can coax it to work.

So that’s it for this month. I think this is supposed to be a monthly thing but I am so damn boring I don’t see much changing but maybe next month I’ll do a whole one devoted to reading. What do you guys think? Would that be helpful?

Linking up with Lauren and Bre

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: favorites, linkups, recommendations

Friday six-pack, 2017, v4: Here we go

January 27, 2017 by Jana 12 Comments

Well, we’re one week in and I can’t. I CAN’T because WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON? WHAT IS HAPPENING?! As those are mostly rhetorical because I know you’re all probably as befuddled as I am, I’m going to focus (well, mostly) on all the non-political things that happened because I am treading a very thin line between staying informed and having my head explode. I can’t afford to have my head explode.

Reading. Finished The Quickening and Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman. Started Idaho. Picked up A Head Full of Ghosts and Bottomland. Tabled The Lilac Girls because library due dates rule my life. Also reading Mr. Popper’s Penguins along with The Child since we had in the house and she’s reading it in school for their one school/one book thing.

Watching. A four part documentary series on Netflix about the disappearance of this British woman. I can’t remember the name of it but it’s fascinating.

Following. All the rogue Twitter accounts, like AltNatParkSer (for the National Park Service), RogueNASA (NASA, obviously), AltUSDA (the USDA. Also obvious) and others because science fucking matters, censorship is bullshit, and this is out of hand. A president was elected, not a dictator and the motherfucker’s blatant disrespect for the Constitution, the citizens, general common sense and decency, and the world is insane. I cannot comprehend this level of hatred and narcissism and insanity and disregard for what’s staring you in the face and I’m even more concerned for those who build him up and assure him that this is how a democratically elected leader behaves. If you can explain it to me, please do. Also, and let me say this and then I’ll stop, I feel like this country is becoming the pot, we’re the frogs, and the administration is in charge of slowly turning up the water. Well, I’ll you what. This frog isn’t getting in the fucking water and I’m going to do my damnedest to protect those who are too vulnerable to know better from getting in the pot. They can turn up the temperature but I refuse to boil. #resist

Losing. Specifically, weight. It’s not something I talk about much here because…well, mostly my own issues but as of today, I’m down 15 pounds and a full pants size. While I feel I still have a long way to go, I’m pleased with my progress, even if it is slower than I’d prefer.

Buying. Almost nothing. 26 days into the spending freeze and I’ve spent less than $50 unplanned. Each purchase I made in defiance of the freeze was purposeful and mindful which, to me, means it’s working. Full recap next Thursday, along with the next 30 day challenge.

Laughing. 

Have a great weekend! We’ll be celebrating my dad’s 65th birthday and my nephew’s 9th topped off with a Sunday cheer practice (which means she practices and I read and/or nap while she’s there. In other words, a perfect Sunday for me). See you on Tuesday when I’ll be linking up with Lauren and Bre for their new monthly linkup, Add it to My List.

Eat, Drink, and Be Lauren

 

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: books, Entertainment, favorites, weekly wrap-up

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Jana

I'm Jana ...

A book reading, nail polish wearing, binge watching, music loving, dog owning, reluctant cheer mom.
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