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Show Us Your Books, December 2021

December 14, 2021 by Jana 17 Comments

Oh, hallelujah, this year is almost over. It’s not that it was the worst year but it certainly wasn’t great. And as for 2022, I’m really just hoping for adequate because I like to have high standards.

I did manage to meet my Goodreads goal, which in actuality means nothing since it’s a completely arbitrary number I pick but still, good for me I guess. As for next year, I’m thinking I want to take a break from tracking on Goodreads but I’m not sure what else to do except with pen and paper. Maybe a list on my Notes app? That might work. Any other suggestions?

Anyway, while we’re all pondering how to break my dependency on Goodreads, let’s use it to remember what I read last month (I realize this is not making a good case to stop using it). I think there were seven books. Some were good, some were fine, none were awful, and one I paused because of a library avalanche I am still sorting through.

This is not the book I’m reading, but Oscar is just so cute I had to use it

Godspeed by Nickolas Butler. Well. This book started off REALLY strong and then took a sharp turn into what the fuck am I reading. I didn’t so much hate where it went as I was utterly confused and while I rolled with it, it still wasn’t as good as I had hoped. He is a great writer, though, even if his stories are somewhat questionable.

The Younger Wife by Sally Hepworth. Read most of this on a plane to and from Denver and that’s precisely the kind of book this is. Great travel companion. I’m still a little puzzled by the ending but I didn’t mind reading this murdery family drama. I think it might have been a NetGalley book but I’m starting to think that’s another habit I should just quit in 2022.

We Own This City: A True Story of Crime, Cops and Corruption in an American City by Justin Fenton. If you liked The Wire, read this book because it reads like a season of that show brought to life. Which is appropriate as they’re both set in Baltimore. I digress. It was actually a fascinating read but not shocking, especially if you’re familiar with the corrupt history of Baltimore and the fact that cops can be criminals. Parts of this story are set against what happened to Freddie Gray, so be aware of that if you choose to read it.

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner. Read. This. Book. It is so touching and fantastic and sad and if you are part of a culture that places a lot (and I mean A LOT) of emphasis on food, you’ll appreciate this tribute to her mom and her Korean heritage even more.

The First 21 – How I Became Nikki Sixx by Nikki Sixx. This was my third nonfiction in a row, but so worth it. Even if you don’t like Motley Crue or Sixx A.M.’s music, you have to be intrigued by Nikki Sixx (and the title is pretty self-explanatory). And if you are, read this one as well as The Heroin Diaries, which remains to this day one of the best memoirs I’ve ever read.

Not a Happy Family by Shari Lapena. Put this in the same camp as The Younger Wife, except I didn’t read it on a plane. A simply written, straightforward, family murder drama. It was a nice change from the nonfiction, a quick read, and good for a vacation or a nice long at-home break like the two-week one I have coming up.

The First Husband by Laura Dave. Meh. It was fine. Fluffy rom-com type book, good for a cold weekend, but without a lot of com and a lot more of drama. It reminded me of some of TJR’s earlier books and like TJR, Dave’s books seem to get better the more she writes because The Last Thing He Told Me, which I read earlier this year, was excellent. Still haven’t read Eight Hundred Grapes yet. I think it’s been on my TBR for about five years so I should probably get on that.

Currently reading: The Promise by Damon Galgut and Trejo: My Life of Crime, Redemption, and Hollywood by Danny Trejo.

And now, it’s time to link up and show us your books! Don’t forget to visit my co-host Steph and some other bloggers (I commit to doing this this month) and also mark your calendars twice. Once for December 29 for our yearly favorites bonus linkup and once for January 11, the first of our 2022 linkups.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Filed Under: Life

A Not at All Complete List of Things That Interest Me for No Logical Reason

January 24, 2020 by Jana 6 Comments

I recently came across this tweet:

Name five things you are incredibly interested in that aren’t like, related necessarily to your job or your hobbies or whatever….just five entirely random things you’re super interested in for no real reason

— Elle Maruska (they/them) (@ellle_em) January 22, 2020

I thought about participating and then promptly forgot until 20 minutes ago when I was in the shower and felt it was too late to answer on Twitter but was completely appropriate to use for a blog post. Because I also still have that random goal of writing 10 things and I’ve only written 2 non-work things.

So, thanks person on Twitter for this prompt and helping me reach an arbitrary goal. It’s also a nice break from editing and writing about personal finance, which, for those who don’t know, is what I do for a living.

Without further ado, my not at all complete list of random things I’m interested in for no logical reason:

  • True crime and all its related parts: serial killers, bank robbers, kidnappings, etc
  • The Muppets
  • Dolly Parton
  • Cults
  • Nail art
  • The concept of Hygge
  • The Pinkertons
  • Tiny houses and RVs, with a heavy emphasis on RVs
  • Penguins
  • Old, historical towns
  • The Amish and Mennonites (although not the puppy mills part)
  • The business part of cheerleading (maybe work-related?)
  • Sunsets
  • Soup

Now that it’s all listed in one place, I’m kind of wondering what the hell is wrong with me but also I am clearly very interesting.

via GIPHY

Filed Under: Life, Random thoughts

We were born, born to be alive

November 9, 2018 by Jana 6 Comments

I recently finished Matt Haig’s book Reasons to Stay Alive (more about that on Tuesday during Show Us Your Books). It wound up being more timely than I’d planned given some circumstances that are ramping up my anxiety which then in turn ramps up my depression.

Fun.

So, in the spirit of that book, and the spirit of my dog, Barkley, who is quite ill but fights every day to stay alive because life is so worth living, I thought it’d be a good time to pause and list all the things that complete my life. What helps keeps a small light burning in the darkest of times. The things that, even in the thickest of the fog, I can stop and appreciate. The things that make me smile, cry, laugh, and just…feel.

All the things that make it possible to live another day.

Sunsets

The ocean. Any water that sits near sand, really

Dogs

My daughter’s laugh. My daughter in general

Iced tea (unsweetened, of course)

Good movies

Bad movies

Music

Books. All the books.

When democracy works

New friends

Old friends

Family

Hugs

Blankets

Naps

Clean sheets

Opening Day

Scented candles

Laughing at nothing in particular

Writing

Bagels, pizza, black and white cookies, egg rolls, Doritos

Fresh manicure and pedicure

Justice

Finally getting that text, email, news you’ve been waiting for

Love

P.S. I don’t think I’ve ever quoted a disco song ever in my life that wasn’t ABBA or a joke but there is a first for everything and I have #noregrets

Filed Under: Life

Pittsburgh, being Jewish, and other things

October 29, 2018 by Jana 7 Comments

I apologize if this makes no sense. I’ve been trying to process my thoughts about the Pittsburgh shooting since Saturday and this is the best I can do. I know I’ve left out a lot.

Yesterday, on Twitter, I saw a tweet asking for Jewish people to share what they love most about being Jewish*. I thought about answering but the truth is, I can’t. I legit do not know what I love most about it because it’s not something that, to me, is describable. It’s embedded in who I am, and it’s how I react to the world around me. Through the lens of being Jewish.

I mean, it’s not the sum total of me. There are many, many parts that are decidedly un-Jewish (whatever the fuck that means), and I’m probably more a cultural Jew than a religious, observant one, but when faced with things like grief, I find more comfort in my religion’s traditions than anything else.

And grief comprises a large part of my life lately.

This past weekend, as I’m sure you all know, a white supremacist murdered 11 people at a synagogue in Pittsburgh. I didn’t hear or read the news until a few hours after because I’ve been in the trenches with my dog, Barkley, who is having major health issues with not the greatest prognosis. When I finally had the chance to catch up, the horror that happened dominated the headlines. And I couldn’t stop reading.

Which was a curse and a blessing because when I read that the shooter went in screaming that all Jews should die, I lost it. I cried. Hard.

Because part of being Jewish is understanding that people fucking hate you. And if they don’t hate you initially, you fear that they’ll hate you when they find out you’re Jewish (or that’ll be the reason the stop liking you later on). They hate you for how you worship, they hate you because of lies spread by ignorant, hateful people, they hate you simply for existing. They hate you because of ignorance, and they think that casual antisemitism is not only funny but appropriate. We won’t discuss overt antisemitism because that’s a whole different conversation (yeah, you, asshole from Kentucky who dressed his kid as Hitler. I’m looking at you).

I have lost count of the instances of this casual antisemitism I’ve experienced. And it’s not just using the term “Nazi” to describe someone who’s a stickler about things (see: grammar nazi) and not realizing how it cheapens that word or what it invokes to a Jewish person. It’s thinking it’s funny to mispronounce Hebrew words or saying you didn’t realize someone’s Jewish because they “don’t look it” or cracking a terrible joke about saving money.

You learn to brush it aside (well, most of the time. Sometimes you need to be confrontational) with a smile. Just like you learn to accept acts of vandalism on temples or schools in predominately Jewish areas or bomb threats to Jewish Community Centers where people work and kids go to school and senior citizens receive meals and programming. You learn coping mechanisms because people you love work in these places, use these facilities. You thank G-d that at least it wasn’t those while still reeling in horror that it happened. You stand in solidarity with those directly affected.

Because, like it or not, it’s what you’re taught. Whether directly or indirectly, you’re taught fear. Even if you grow up fairly insulated, like I did on Long Island, you’re still fully aware of what goes on elsewhere. I’ll spare you the horror stories passed on to me. But what happened on Saturday is my lifelong paranoia come true.

Saturday was the full realization that hatred plus misinformation equals murder. It was an act of violence, an act of domestic terrorism, and it was a hate crime. Nothing else. To call it anything else demeans what happened.

Now, I know that people of color and other religions experience this as well. This isn’t unique to Jews. Hell, take a look at what else happened this past week alone. Particularly inside a Kroger, where a white supremacist killed two black people ONLY BECAUSE he couldn’t get into his first target–a black church.

Attacking people at their places of worship is so despicable there’s not even a word for it.

Men and women, there for Shabbat services or maybe a bris (I’m not entirely sure who was where), were MURDERED simply because they went to temple that day. They went to worship and celebrate a baby, in the way we believe it should be done. The most sacred of places was violated. Lives were taken.

It’s hard to brush this aside with a polite smile.

In Judaism, we have a tradition of, when you visit someone’s grave, you place a rock on the headstone. It’s to let them know you were there and is also a sign of respect for the deceased. Since I live so far away, I asked my friend Brynne to place a rock at a memorial set up for the victims. Not only did she do that, she placed one for several of our other Jewish friends. I still cry, knowing she did that for us.

I know in the wake of any tragedy like this, people want to help but it’s hard to know how. The only thing I can say is this: do what you can. Place a rock. Attend a vigil. Be aware of casual antisemitism. Donate to a victim’s fund. Pray. Talk about the victims, not the shooter.

Joyce Feinberg, 75

Richard Gottfried, 65

Rose Mallinger, 97

Jerry Rabinowitz, 66

Cecil Rosenthal, 59

David Rosenthal, 54

Bernice Simon, 84

Sylvan Simon, 86

Daniel Stein, 71

Melvin Wax, 88

Irving Younger, 69

Maurice Stallard (Kroger shooting victim)

Vickie Jones (Kroger shooting victim)

May their memory be a blessing.

I hate that this isn’t the first time I’ve written about mass shootings, and I hate even more that it won’t be the last. Not unless we take action. I need my child, any child really, to not be afraid to walk into a temple.

They’re already afraid to walk into school.

P.S. I’ve tried to keep politics out of this post; however, it’s almost impossible. When we have a leader spewing vitriol and lies and inciting violence, people listen. When they see him doing it with no consequence, people act. He can deny his culpability however he wants but we all know it’s true. The state of hatred in this country starts with the head. This head is fucking defective and needs to be voted the fuck out in 2 years, and in the meantime, people who will stand up to him need to be voted in. We need to fix this country.

P.P.S. This is my experience with being Jewish. There might be others who disagree with me. But that’s the thing–it’s a unique experience for all of us. One Jew does not speak for all Jews. We’re a diverse, opinionated bunch.

*If you have time, read through the whole thread. My answers match about 90% of those. Except the ones about Jewish food. I am not a big fan.

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: opinions, rants

Give a moment or two to the angry middle-aged woman

June 18, 2018 by Jana 9 Comments

This is a political rant. If that’s not your thing, I totally understand. And sorry for the intensity on a Monday. I recognize that it’s a bit much. 

I know I’ve been awfully quiet around here the last few months. I could go into the reasons for it but really, they’re not important. With all the shit that’s swirling around thanks to the Orange Regime, I’d have almost nothing nice to say about anything, ever. I try to maintain a sense of humor when I can but quite frankly, it’s getting harder and harder to do.

Because I swear to god, if things keep going the way they have been, I’m pretty sure we’re a month away from tattooing numbers on people’s arms.

I don’t say that lightly, either.

For those who don’t know, I’m Jewish.

I grew up learning, in VERY GRAPHIC DETAIL, about the horrors inflicted on Jews at the concentration camps. I won’t and can’t even relay some of the stories to you guys. It’s too horrific. It’s one of the reasons I generally do not read books set in World War II. Anything written against the backdrop of the Holocaust is not entertainment to me. I don’t care how “inspirational” or whatever it might be, I’m not doing it.

I grew up learning, in VERY GRAPHIC DETAIL, about the raging anti-Semitism (yes, WordPress, it’s a real fucking word) in Russia (the USSR back then) and around the world. It never made any sense to me how people could hate just because they’re told to and it never made sense to me to harm and oppress people because they’re different.

It still doesn’t.

If I listed for you the ignorant comments made to me because people have never taken the time to learn about Judaism, your head would explode. In fact, just recently, a stranger told me I’m a unicorn (yup, that’s the word she used) because I’m Jewish. I get that she was trying to be funny and nice but NO. Don’t fucking say things like that. Do you know why I’m so hard to find? BECAUSE SOMEONE HAD 6 MILLION OF US MURDERED. That’s why.

If I seem angry, I am. Because how can I not be when I see history repeating itself in my own backyard? The travel ban, the separation policy, the KKK having free reign in our government and in our media, party over country, our “leader” forming alliances with dictators and shitting on our allies and calling for military parades in his honor, state-run TV and newspapers spreading his vicious hate policies and lies like they’re gospel, it’s the rise of Nazism all over again. And more and more people becoming so exhausted from the daily outrage caused by this administration that it’s hard not to become numb.

But now is not the time to be numb.

In 2016, when this fucking asshole was running for president, I remember people sharing posts about the warning signs of fascism. Well, guess what, folks? IT’S FUCKING HERE. It’s impossible to ignore now. And it has to go.

We, as a country, are better than this. The fact that hate has been allowed to rise up in this manner, that children are being ripped from their parents and punished for their parents’ choices (and OMG, is that another topic ripe for a rant), that domestic violence victims will not be granted asylum, that gay people can be denied a motherfucking cake…WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING? How have we gotten here?

I’ll tell you.

It’s the rotten stinking turd sitting in the White House and everyone around him who doesn’t tell him he stinks. It’s everyone who tells him he, in fact, smells like a delightful bouquet of flowers.

Like it or not, the man occupying that seat sets a tone for the country and the one he’s set is anger and racism and misogyny and hatred and lies and scapegoating. And anyone who feels even a fraction of that now feels empowered to say and do whatever they want, regardless of how repugnant it may be. Because that’s what the president does.

It’s their justification.

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

It’s time to vote these hateful, spiteful motherfuckers out of office. If you want, you can even say like Roger Dorn in Major League (you know, “Strike this motherfucker out!”). Give it some emphasis.

Strip their powers, tarnish their egos, and for the love of whatever you believe in, stop giving hate a platform. Removing them from office puts them back into private life and while they might have some influence, it’s nothing compared to what they can do when they cast a vote in an elected position.

So, please. Vote.

We need to make this administration a horrible footnote in our country’s history (I mean, even more than it’s doing for itself). Send a message that the separation policy is bullshit, their justifications are bullshit, and people are more important than party.

I guess if I’m going to say anything positive it’s that eventually, the Nazis were defeated. Right did defeat wrong, morality did defeat the immoral, and I cannot wait to see 45 go down in fucking flames.

Filed Under: Life

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Jana

I'm Jana ...

A book reading, nail polish wearing, binge watching, music loving, dog owning, reluctant cheer mom.
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