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Guest post–Money Talk: Kids Edition

August 2, 2011 by Jana 3 Comments

The following is a guest post from my friend Mrs. C who blogs about life, food, running and creating a living legacy at Another Housewife. I’m honored to have her post here as she is my frugal mom idol. What this woman does with 4 kids, a husband and a small budget is amazing.

Trial and Error. That is our method of parenting, including teaching our kids about money. I dream of raising financially savvy kids, who have a healthy, non lustful relationship with money. I want them to be raised in such a way that saving and living within their means is as natural as brushing their teeth or fighting with each other. You know what I mean? The method to accomplish this goal however is a whole other beast.

Our kids are 9, 7, and 4. We are in the midst of a healthy appetite for the wants. To curb their craving of all things made of glitter and sold in an electronics store, we have come up with a game plan to teach our kids how money works, in our home. The following is a list of how we handle money related details with our children:

Money
In our home it is important for us to teach our kids a basic foundation of how all money earned is distributed. We give ten percent as a tithe, put ten percent in savings, and create a spending plan for the rest (fancy talk for budget). We still have veto power over what they purchase with their spending money. I have yet to use that super power because I believe in natural consequences. However, I would veto something like a cell phone.

Allowance
We will be entering the realm of allowance giving this school year. After considering all of the “money experts” differing ideas on how to dish out this source of income to children, we have decided to start with a monthly allowance of ten dollars per kid. I figured since math is really not my thing, it is the easiest way to teach our 10-10-80 method. Also, there will be no strings attached to receiving an allowance. It will be given every month simply because you are a member of the family.

Chores
Our kids have a list of chores they must do without any compensation. For me the idea of paying my child to make his bed or clean up their play room is atrocious. On the other hand we do have a list of chores that we will compensate our children for upon approval, such as washing our car.

NO Advances
This is really hard for my husband and I to enforce without feeling a little emotional guilt. In the end we know it is for the betterment of our children. Instant gratification is a rampant problem in the world today and we want to teach our children the notion of saving and paying cash for items. As much as I want to just pitch in the last ten dollars or want to believe they will wash my car as soon as we get home from the store, the answer is no.

Serving
I want to teach our kids that one of our most valuable resources is not money but our time. I make a conscious effort to look for ways we can serve as a family. I don’t want to be the mom who says, “There are kids starving in third world countries,” when they gripe about what’s for dinner. I want to be the mom who exposes her children to the injustices of the world and together brainstorms ideas we can do as a family to serve others. It helps to take our mind off of our wants and instead focus on the needs of others.

What works for our family may not work for yours. I have spent several years taking bits and pieces of advice and tweaking it to fit our family dynamic. I wish I could say we have it all figured out but the truth is we make more mistakes than not. That is the genius of the trial and error method.

Filed Under: Guest posts

Guest Post: What a Lamp Taught Me About Personal Finance

August 1, 2011 by Jana 5 Comments

In a Daily Money Shot first, I’ve swapped posts with So Over Debt. I’m honored to have a guest post from So Over Debt, who writes about money matters as a single mom getting out of debt, and I’m thrilled to have a guest post over on her site. In fact, her site is one of the ones that prompted me to start blogging (you can either send her either thank you notes or hate mail. I’m sure she’d appreciate it).

About this time two years ago, I made the decision to file for divorce. (Don’t worry – it’s a “Congratulations!” divorce, not an “Oh, I’m so sorry!” divorce.) If I ignore all the emotions and drama involved, I look back to see several months of utter chaos – looking for a place to live, finding a house that needed updating, coming home from work to stay up half the night remodeling, and finally moving in December 2009. Other than a dining room table, I moved with only my clothes and personal items, my son’s clothes, furniture, and personal items, and my dogs.
During the months of remodeling, I developed a strategic decorating plan for my new house. I didn’t want it to look anything like the home I had when I was married, and I wanted it to reflect my style instead of its previous look (little old lady). I spent hours bookmarking specific accessories and pieces of furniture I needed to complete the transformation. I watched HGTV shows on my DVR every weekend and took notes. I ignored my dad’s skepticism when I chose paint colors (for the record, he loves the house now that it’s nearly finished).
I had the hardest time finding table lamps for my living room. I needed to bring more orange into the room, but I didn’t want clown orange – it needed to be subtle and modern. I’m glad I didn’t have to pay a per-search rate for my internet access, because I burned Google up trying to find the perfect lamps.
I finally found exactly what I needed – the Hoopla table lamp from Crate and Barrel. It was the right shade of orange, it was modern, it was awesome! It was also $79 plus tax and shipping, and I needed three of them. At a time in my life when I was using my closet door across two sawhorses for a computer desk, it didn’t make a lot of sense to spend that kind of money on lamps. So I bought a couple of seriously ugly (but cheap!) lamps from Walmart, bookmarked the Hoopla lamp, and gazed at it longingly several times a week.
Time passed and I moved on to other rooms in the house. I still looked at the Hoopla lamp periodically, even squealing a bit when it was discounted to $59. I planned to buy the lamps as soon as I got my Christmas money last year. But then Christmas came and I decided to put all my money in savings. I would just wait for my tax return. But then tax time came and I decided to pay off two credit cards instead. I began blogging about my finances and getting out of debt. I got busy at work. I stopped buying stuff I didn’t need (for the most part).
I forgot all about buying those lamps. The ones I have, while definitely not my favorites, do the job and kind of fade into the background. They definitely don’t make the statement the Hoopla lamps would have made, but they’re good enough. And wouldn’t you know it? When I went searching for a picture of the Hoopla lamp on Crate and Barrel’s website for this post, it isn’t even available anymore. I may buy new lamps at some point, but it’s not a priority in my life right now.
What does this story say about personal finance? A lot of things, actually.
First, this story demonstrates how easy it is to become obsessed with material things. Lamps are such an insignificant part of life, especially if you don’t even have furniture, but I was convinced I needed them to make my home (and my new life) complete. No one pressured me into it; I did it all on my own, sitting at my computer looking around. And I didn’t even realize it was happening. That’s often how it goes – you start looking around for something, and before you know it you’re on a mission. A mission that generally includes a lot of extra things. I try to keep this in mind when I want something – do I really need it, or have I just convinced myself that I need it?
Second, my search for the perfect lamp is a great example of emotional spending. Why was I so intent on planning every detail of my new home, down to the table lamps? Because I was going through one of the most stressful times in my life. Focusing on making my house look amazing gave me a much-needed escape from what was going on in the real world. It gave me a sense of control – I couldn’t make my marriage work, but I could make my house perfect. Realizing this has helped me look out for other examples of emotional spending in my life.
Finally, did you notice how I was better able to resist buying the lamps as time passed? At first it was simply a matter of not having the money, but by the time I could actually afford to buy them, I’d already moved on to something else. This is why so many personal finance bloggers recommend waiting 30 days before making a large purchase – the incredible urge to buy something usually goes away with time. The longer you wait, the more money you can keep in your bank account.
I can’t adequately express how important it was to me at the time to get the perfect lamps for my house. I also can’t put into words how unimportant those lamps are to me now. I’m not saying I wouldn’t buy them if I found them for sale, but I’ve finally learned (two years later) that there are more important things to do, like get the heck out of debt.
Have you ever wanted something so badly you would have traded a limb for it? Did you buy it on impulse, or did you resist? Was it a planned purchase? Tell me about it in the comments!

Filed Under: Guest posts

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Jana

I'm Jana ...

A book reading, nail polish wearing, binge watching, music loving, dog owning, reluctant cheer mom.
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