Jana Says

Living life from cover to cover

Daycare is done…let the financial stress begin!

by Jana 7 Comments

In my house, we just celebrated a huge milestone. We made our final payment towards our daughter’s daycare. That’s $660 per month back into our budget. Or is it?

Due to our precarious financial situation over the last few years, my husband and I have fallen behind in some specific areas; namely, retirement savings, increasing our emergency fund and saving money for our daughter to go to college. Now that we have this money that’s not obligated towards a service, the logical step seems to be to divide that extra money into those areas (which would increase our current contributions made with money previously reserved for debt repayment).  We’re already used to the money being spent so it’s not like we’d miss having it every month. But the more I think about it, the more I think that maybe that money could have some other uses.

Here are a few ways I think we can spend that money:

  • School. Even though she’s no longer in daycare, my daughter will be in school. And along with school comes expenses. Clothes, class pictures, field trips, book fairs, teacher gifts, school supplies…a whole list of items to pay for. Perhaps it would be a good idea to set some of that $660 aside every month for these types of quasi-surprises. That way the money is there and we don’t have to scramble.
  • Extracurricular activities. I am a huge supporter of extracurricular activities. I think they give kids a chance to enrich their education, meet kids from different schools, and apply their skills in other areas. As a result, my daughter is usually enrolled in 1-2 activities. Because we do most of them through our YMCA, they’re a lot less expensive. However, less expensive doesn’t mean free. Maybe some of that extra money can go towards paying for these activities and whatever “equipment” might come with them.
  • Student loans. My husband still has student loans to pay off. Like a lot of student loans to pay off. We have a plan to pay them off before we turn 40 (we’re 34 and 35) but putting this money towards his loans would make the payoff that much quicker.  This is probably the only debt we have that I resent (it’s a long, sordid tale) so the sooner we can get rid of it, the better.
  • Add it into our monthly budget to pay bills. Right now, I’m on leave from my job and we’re not sure if I’m going to go back. If I don’t, we’re going to take a huge financial hit by losing my salary. Having that $660 per month in our budget to cover expenses will ease that burden and give us peace of mind.
  • Do nothing and wait to see where we need it the most. This is probably what makes the most amount of sense to do but I am so crazy with allocating my money that to leave it there, without a purpose, makes me twitch. I feel like if it sits there, we’re going to spend it frivolously and then when we do need it, it’ll be gone. Which is a terrible, horrible, awful, no good, very bad feeling.

Then there’s the matter of private school tuition. Although we’ve signed Erica up for private school, we’re still debating if it’s the right choice, mainly due to financial reasons. Our feeder school isn’t as bad as it used to be and provided all goes well with selling our house, she’d only be there for one year. However, if we can opt for private school, that money we’re saving by not having daycare will most likely go towards tuition.

So. Many. Choices.

Since I’m a planner, I like to have every situation mapped out before I make a commitment to one thing. Figuring out what to do with this money is going to mean my husband and I need to have a long talk. And although we don’t fight about money, I’m a little nervous for this discussion (because we have completely different opinions on the whole school issue).

I’ll let you know how it turns out.

How we picked a guardian

by Jana 5 Comments

I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m completely unprepared to die. And just in case I haven’t mentioned it, I’ll say it now: I. Can’t. Die.

I can’t die for all the important reasons like I’m too young or I have a child to raise or all that stuff but mainly, I can’t die because I’m totally unprepared for it, financially speaking. I have no will, no life insurance, no organization of my personal affairs like my websites and banking information, no compilation of my important documents (birth certificate, Social Security card); hell, I don’t even have a shovel buddy. It’s really quite sad and I know I need to get my shit together. You know, just in case.

However, there is one matter that is settled. In the event that my husband and I die at the same time, we have a guardian named for our daughter. Our parents and the guardian have been made aware; in fact, we even sat down with her to discuss whether or not she would be willing to assume the responsibility (of course, she said yes. Without any hesitation, I might add).  Of course we need to formalize it but everyone who needs to know this arrangement is aware. Which is super important.

It really wasn’t that hard for us to pick a guardian for our daughter (mainly due to very limited options). But before we finalized who we wanted, we had to analyze several factors:

  • Age. While our respective sets of parents are in good health, they are starting to get older. The physical demands of raising a small child (and even a teenager) can be pretty staggering. We didn’t want to put any undue physical or mental strain on our getting older parents. We wanted someone who was young enough to keep up with her but old enough that they would be able to shoulder the responsibility (without shirking it).
  • Education. Not so much the education level of the guardian but rather, the emphasis that person would put on Erica’s education. My husband and I think school is a HUGE deal, and we want someone who believes the same. We also wanted her guardian to encourage her to take part in extracurricular activities as well as attempt to supplement her education at home. I concede that we’re probably a little neurotic about this and that no one else would be as ridiculous, but we wanted someone who would come close.
  • Religion. Ah, the big ongoing debate in my house. I’m  Jewish and my husband is not. However, we’re raising her to understand both faiths and we feel that, when she’s ready, she’ll gravitate more towards one than the other (we acknowledge that this is unconventional and not really recommended practice). We wanted the person raising her in our absence to understand our philosophy and not prevent her from understanding both sides of her religious background.
  • Lifestyle. As parents everywhere will attest to, having a kid is WORK. It requires a substantial shift in everything you do from where you live to going out to who you associate with. It was important to us that the guardian not views caring for Erica as a significant burden and that they are aware of the change in lifestyle that goes with it. To that end, we needed someone who would be okay sacrificing weekends out with friends or postponing that vacation until school lets out.
  • Money. Although I’m discussing it last, it was actually the first factor we discussed. While I disagree with most of what the experts say it cost to raise a child from birth to age 18, having a kid definitely makes a dent in the ol’ budget. We needed to be 100% certain that the guardian was fine and in a good financial place to accept the financial responsibility of caring for a kid. We didn’t want to place an undue financial burden on anyone. We also needed to make sure that the person raising her would have the good sense to teach her how to be financially responsible by being a good role model.

I’m sure there were some other criteria we used to determine our daughter’s guardian but these were the primary ones. We were lucky; we had one lengthy discussion between ourselves, one discussion with the person and the matter was settled. So at least that’s done.

I probably should get to the rest of it. I suppose it’s the adult thing to do. And this is one of those adult moments that makes me wish I were 16 again. Then I think about high school and having to do that again and writing a will sound exponentially better.

My husband: King of the dumpster divers

by Jana 11 Comments

A few weeks ago, my husband scored us free rocks. It was pretty unbelievable that he was able to do that because, as I’ve learned, decorative garden rocks can get to be quite pricey. Who knew?

Anyway, since then, I’ve really started to notice how much free stuff my husband comes home with. It’s quite fascinating and honestly, kind of fun because I never know what kind of reject is going to wind up salvaged and functioning in my home. Here’s a sampling:

  • Wall art. A neighbor of ours was moving out of his house and was getting ready to throw out a fairly nice, rather large framed black and white photograph. My husband noticed it and asked if he could have it. The neighbor said sure and now, that picture hangs on the wall of our den.
  • A lawnmower. My husband works for a very small private company that’s in the middle of renovating their entire office building. As my husband in responsible for overseeing a large part of the renovations, he had cause to canvass the grounds. While doing so, he noticed 3 lawnmowers. He then asked his boss if he could have one of the lawnmowers. To which his boss replied “Take all 3. I just want them gone”. We now have a new to us lawnmower (which is great because ours was quite sickly) and my husband is thinking about selling the other two.
  • A 24” television. So it’s not the biggest TV on the block. But it works for our bedroom. This was another reject from my husband’s work. When the company replaced my husband’s monitor, they told him he could take the old one, which, conveniently also functions as a television. Since the current one is my grandparents’ old television, built circa 1982, it was time for an upgrade. We didn’t want to pay for a new TV since the ancient one still works but when a free replacement falls into your lap, it’s hard to say no.
  • Food. The amount of free food that my husband comes home with is ridiculous. I’m not just talking a few pieces of cake here and there. I’m talking wraps, pizza, crab balls, chicken, sandwiches…in fact, last week he came home with so much food I didn’t have to cook for 2 days. It was really nice for our food budget and honestly? The break from cooking and meal planning was outstanding. (Oh, yeah. This food came from his work as well. I don’t know what goes on at that place but I am so glad he works there.)
  • A Barbie doll. Like most 5 year old girls, my daughter is obsessed with Barbie. In fact, Barbie has taken over my house with her clothes and car and house and accessories and whatever the hell else is attached to those dolls. I had declared a moratorium on new Barbie dolls until…we were walking the dogs and my husband, expert dumpster diver that he is, noticed a brand new, unopened Barbie doll in the idiot’s trash. So he took it out. And my daughter is as happy as can be with her salvaged Barbie doll.
And while this isn’t exactly dumpster diving, my husband did manage to get our sidewalk fixed for free, paid for by one of our state representative’s offices. I’m not sure what he said or who he talked to and, although it took 8 months, we didn’t have to pay a dime. And now my sidewalk has no cracks in it. If only they’d come and get the orange barrels…

 
Anyway…I’d say overall, my husband saved us around $1000 last week just by rescuing what other’s perceived as garbage. I’m not going to lie to you; this is kind of a hard thing for me to accept. I’m not used to literally taking things out of the trash (except for the food. That was never actually in the trash) and then putting them to use. But I guess the point is if I don’t tell you it had a date with the trash heap, you’d probably never know.

And quite frankly, I’m glad I didn’t have to fork over money for a lawnmower. Those things are expensive pains in the ass.

Dear Erica

by Jana 12 Comments

Dear Erica,

Last night was your preschool graduation. It was a painfully cute, unbelievably short affair but what it symbolized was so much greater than even the most lavish of ceremonies could have conveyed. Yes, it represented the fact that I can sit back and rejoice in the fact that I no longer have to pay for daycare (quite frankly, I did a dance of glee when I handed in that last check. To know that almost $700 a month goes back into our pockets is a blissful feeling). But your graduation was about so much more than not having to pay your school anymore (please don’t think this was a burden. It wasn’t). Your graduation was about the pride I felt as a parent, watching my almost kindergartner stand up in front of a room full of people and sing her heart out

It was about watching my little girl start to grow up.

Although you’re only 5 1/2, it seems like a lifetime ago that you were a newborn, confusing her days and nights. A brand new infant who did nothing but eat and cry is now a tall little girl with an imagination bigger than the sky (and an appetite even bigger than that). A child who was once afraid to walk on her own now runs and rides a bike and takes a Zumba class. A baby who wouldn’t even look at people you didn’t know now has the confidence to look anyone in the eye and say “hello”.

So much has changed yet so much has stayed the same.

You’re still my little girl who gives the best hugs and loves dogs and reads every book put in front of her. You’re still my darling child who can turn her attitude on a dime but still look you in the eye and say you’re sorry. You’re still the sweet child who loves to take naps with her mommy and garden with her daddy (and yes, I realize how much this says about your mommy and daddy as well). You’re still fiercely independent and strive to do everything the best that you can.

I’m glad that you haven’t changed in those respects. But I know that more change is on the horizon; it’s inevitable. Yet of all the parts about you that will change or you’ll forget about (like the fact that you want to be a mermaid or a fairy) in the future, there are some parts I hope never disappear.

I hope you never lose your love for animals and nature (although you are not at all fond of spiders. Honestly? I don’t blame you). I hope you never lose your curiosity for the world around you. I hope you never lose your enthusiasm for everything you do and love and believe in. I hope you never lose your ambition and confidence that you can do anything you want to. I hope you never lose the spirit that makes you so kind to others. I hope you never give up your vivid imagination and gift of storytelling. I hope you never give up that fierce independence. I hope that you remain a girl who can love Barbie and nail polish and football at the same time. And I hope that you never, ever forget how much your mommy and daddy love you.

I’m looking forward to the next chapter in our lives. I know it’s going to come equipped with more challenges than I can count. But I also know it’s going to come with happiness I can’t begin to measure.

I love you and I couldn’t be more proud of you. You are absolutely the best daughter a mommy could want and I’m so glad you’re mine.

Big hugs and love always,

Mommy

 

We scored free rocks (reposted and updated)

by Jana 13 Comments

You might have noticed some layout changes. That’s totally on purpose. And there’s more coming. I know you’re excited.

I spent this past Saturday at The SITS Girls Bloggy Boot Camp. It was, hands down, some of the best money I’ve spent on this site (and my wanna be writing career). I was able to hear presentations from some incredible bloggers outside the personal finance niche (which is great to get a different perspective) and got some wonderful tips for streamlining not only my site but my whole approach to blogging. So look for those changes. Because of being totally and completely consumed by that, I totally forgot to write a post for today. So I offer a post previously written for my other site, The Jealousy Files (currently in hibernation until I get the rest of my shit together):

This shit was free y'all!

I recently had this conversation with my husband:

Him: Hello?

Me: You called? (after 8 years of marriage, pleasantries no longer exist. Plus, I don’t have time.)

Him: (silence)

Me: Again, you called?

Him: Yes.

Me: What do you want?

Him: I wanted to let you know I scored free rocks.

Me: What the fuck are you talking about?

Him: I scored free rocks.

Me: I understand what you said. I’m just wondering how the conversation transpired that led you to getting us free rocks.

Him: Well, rock house (note: that’s what we call the house that has their front lawn covered entirely in rocks) was getting rid of some. I was walking the dogs by their house and I saw him loading the rocks into the back of his truck. I asked him what he was doing with them and he said taking them to the landfill. I said that I’d take some off of his hands.

Me: Okay…

Him: So he put some in a wheelbarrow and wheeled the rocks to our backyard. Now we have all kinds of rocks.

Me: Okay…

Him: I saved us like $10 or $15!!!

At that point, I didn’t know what else to say. He was so proud of himself for scoring shit we could have found on the ground (also for free) that I didn’t want to burst his bubble. But at the same time, I was astonished that my husband actually convinced someone not only to give us free rocks but to wheel them to our house.

I’m a little jealous of his mad negotiating skillz.

P.S. For those who read this post originally on The Jealousy Files and inquired about what we were using the rocks for, I can tell you that my husband artfully spread the rocks around our sad little garden and what was left, he lined against our house because…well, I’m not quite sure because I didn’t care to listen to his rambling explanation. But they are no longer in a random pile. Which is good. Mainly because the cat was getting tired of them.

 

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