On December 31, 2012–New Year’s Eve–my grandfather passed away. Although he was 97, his death came as quite a surprise. After all, he didn’t look 97. He didn’t act 97. And he sure as hell didn’t think like you would expect a 97 year old to think. My grandfather was a sharp as a person gets, even from his hospital bed, hooked up to machines helping him breathe and keep his kidneys functioning. He was a fascinating man, always sharing stories about growing up in Montreal or his early years in business or his thoughts on politics, economics, sports–everything. We all joked at having to suffer through his lectures but really, they were a way of him getting to know us and us getting to know him.

Looking back, those lectures really were special (even if they were a little tedious at times).

While I learned a lot, intellectually, from my grandfather, what I’ll always keep with me are not the facts and figures he taught me (including the rules of hockey. Those left my brain the minute they went in) but the life lessons that he never intended to share but did anyway. Although he told a cardiologist that his key to longevity was dark chocolate (amen!), there really were other elements that helped:

Exercise. As a kid, I remember Nanny and Grandpa putting on their sneakers and going for their daily walks. Mostly to the post office, but anywhere would do. This was a practice that he maintained until just a few months ago. Yes, his walks were shorter in distance but he still took the time to do something for his body. This is a habit I’ve recently incorporated and I’ve never felt better. No wonder he made it to 97!

Keep a sense of humor. Not only did he have one of the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen, but my grandfather enjoyed laughing. He wasn’t a big fan of “low-brow” humor (he did not pass this on to me. I still think farts are funny) but he loved his puns and he was quick to come up with them, too. And I recently found out, Grandpa was also kind of a wise-ass.  At least now I know the start of that genetic trait.

Find a community. After my Nanny died (and to say that my grandfather loved her would be an understatement), Grandpa found solace in his friends at the Suffolk County Y-JCC. He went there often, to talk with friends, listen to lectures, give talks and forge relationships. He continued to engage himself and find a place where he belonged. That engagement, that activity, that something to look forward to–I believe this is what helped keep him going for so long.

Never stop learning. If you asked my grandfather for his most sage piece of advice, he’d probably tell you to always learn. He was always encouraging all of us to further our formal education, to read, to research, to expand our minds. He practiced what he preached, too. Grandpa read voraciously. He was inquisitive. He loved learning new information and then passing that information along.

Love your family. Nothing—and I mean nothing—meant more to my grandfather than his family. He adored his wife, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. His brothers were his best friends. He attended bar mitzvahs and weddings of children of distant relatives just to be able to spend time with them.  And the way he cared about every member of the family was genuine, not “hey, we’re hanging out because we’re related and we have to”. I wish I could be that nice.

Live financially modestly. My grandfather did well, financially, but he never felt the need to show it off. He lived in a modest apartment in Queens for most of his time in the United States and then spent the last part of his life (after my Nanny passed away in 1997) living with my aunt and uncle. He didn’t have flashy clothes, cars, or take expensive vacations. He was generous, sure, but he never felt that he had to flaunt his money. I think we can all learn from that.

Have a passion. Grandpa liked a lot of things. But one of the things he loved most was words. And he was so good with them. And he appreciated others who were good with them. Up until a week before his death, he was still writing poems and doing the NYT crossword puzzle. He wrote acrostics and a column for the Y-JCC’s newsletter and thinking pieces. He even composed a song that was recorded. Writing might not have been his career but he always had a love for it. His life was brighter because of this passion. All of our lives should be enriched by something we love that much.

Be eclectic. My grandfather’s interests ran the gamut. He loved books, sports, politics, economics, philosophy, Jewish culture (I’m Jewish, for those who don’t know), movies, music (especially opera)—you name it, Grandpa probably knew something about it. And would take the time to talk to you, too. It’s what made him so likeable and interesting to talk to. Plus, being eclectic is fun. Who wants to just like one thing?

Find words that inspire you. At his bedside in the hospital, one of my cousins, one of my sisters, my father and I read to my grandfather his favorite poem, Invictus, by William Ernest Henley. I’ve never been one for poems but Grandpa loved them, and when we were done reading, he, through very labored breaths, explained why the poem was so meaningful to him. It was a powerful moment for a number of reasons but these words will inspire me the rest of my life:

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Those words capture the essence of my grandfather. I hope that I, too, can live that way and honor his memory.

And Grandpa, if you’re reading this, I hope Nanny enjoyed the jelly beans.

School vacation is right around the corner (or, if your schools are like ours, it’s already here). It’s a time for kids to relax, give their brains a rest, spend time with their family and friends…it’s a lot of fun. Yet for most parents, it’s a time of extreme anxiety trying to a) keep sane and b) figure out how to keep the kids busy without going broke.

It’s a hard balance at times but not entirely impossible. After all, there are new Christmas or Hanukkah presents to play with, the opportunity to send them to visit relatives or friends (overnight!), and chances for quality, inexpensive family time. But how to find something that the whole family can enjoy?

Also, not impossible. There are dozens of options for family entertainment that can be accomplished for just a few dollars. Here are few:

Family movie night. Family movie nights are pretty common, especially in my house. They’re easy and, thanks to Netflix and Redbox, really, really cheap. But in this instance, spice it up. Do it differently. How? Have a theme. Let’s say, for example, pirates. Depending on the age of your kids, you can rent one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, make pirate food to snack on, and have everyone dress up in a pirate costume. Be as creative as you can. Just make sure that you decide on the theme together. You don’t want someone being completely miserable.

Dinner contest. Again, this will depend on the age of your kids and the size of your family but here’s the gist: divide the family up into teams (boys against girls, older kids versus younger kids, etc) and have each of them cook dinner one night (supervised by mom or dad, obviously). The adults in the house “judge” the meal and, when the contest is over, they announce the winner. For extra incentive, make the prize a night off from chores or an extra dollar in their allowance.  Doing this teaches your kids how to cook and gives you a night or two off.

Family slumber party. Your teenagers might not like this idea, but the younger ones will. For one night, and one night only, allow all of them (or however many you have) to sleep in your room. Let them pile the floor with pillows and sleeping bags. Play a game like Truth or Dare (just make sure to make it kid friendly). Eat junk food. Stay up late. Do everything that you’d typically do at a sleepover (well, almost everything. This is family friendly entertainment we’re talking about here). Although exhausting, it will create fun memories for everyone involved.

Family Olympics. Remember the episode of The Office where Jim created “Office Olympics?” Why not do that at home? Find some fun, weird games to play. Create an obstacle course out of toys. See who can run up and down the stairs the most times before they get tired. Before you start, host an opening ceremony and, after each event, have a medal ceremony with each participant’s theme song playing (oh, did I mention that each participant needs a theme song and a flag?). It’s not only a good way to be creative but a good way to get some exercise when it’s too cold to go outside.

The other activity I advocate? Nap time. Or, at the very least, quiet reading time. When you’re spending all day, every day with your kids, everyone needs a break before someone goes insane (and by someone, I mean the parents). This also prevents tantrums, fights, and general unpleasantness. So everyone wins.

Winter break is fun time to spend with your kids.  But without some careful planning and some activities in your back pocket, it can quickly go from fun to nightmare.

Readers, what are some family activities that you engage in to keep your sanity and protect your budget during winter break?