My first college boyfriend was an asshole. Like a huge, giant hairy asshole. He was mean, rude, snobby, obnoxious and cheap. Besides telling me that I reminded him of Wendy the Snapple Lady and that I was stupid for pledging a sorority (which, I learned later, was due to extreme bitterness from getting rejected from a fraternity 3 separate times), he would force me to listen to his crappy music and watch his even crappier TV shows (seriously. One time, he held my arms behind my back and made me stand in front of the television). But the piece de resistance from this gem of a gentleman was the time he bought concert tickets and we worked out an arrangement that if I drove his piece of shit car (this was. The worst car. Ever.), I wouldn’t have to pay for my ticket (I know you’re wondering how I let him get away). So I did. I drove his yellow submarine that couldn’t go above 50 miles per hour from Delaware to Philadelphia while he and my friend got high. Good times, good times. But the kicker was, on the drive back, he told me that “I really need you to pay me for your ticket tonight. I know I said that I’d pay for your ticket but I really can’t” (or something like that). And yes, I gave the fucker his money because fighting over a $25 concert ticket really wasn’t worth it.

Needless to say, the relationship didn’t last.

Even though he was an asshole of epic proportions, a couple of good things came out of our relationship. One, he bought me Twinkies. Two, I became really good friends with his roommate for the rest of the time he was at school. And three, I saw the movie “Easy Money” for the first time.

As if a movie with Rodney Dangerfield and Joe Pesci wasn’t enough to make it awesome, there was a Billy Joel song that ran over the credits (I’m from Long Island. Billy Joel is a religion). If you have not seen this movie, please go see it. The premise–“To inherit his mother-in-law’s colossal fortune, a hard living, gambling addict must change his unhealthy ways before it gets the best of him” (from imdb.com)–isn’t creative, but with Rodney Dangerfield as that hard living, gambling addict, it’s hysterical.

I couldn’t find a good video to accompany the song, so please bear with the awfulness of it. But the point is the song, and that point gets across. So, for today’s Money Tune Tuesday, I am pleased to present Billy Joel’s “Easy Money”. Listen and enjoy!

 

Today is Valentine’s Day. I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day for several reasons. One, I cannot get behind a holiday where my husband (or anyone’s husband, significant other, partner, whatever) is made to feel like a piece of shit if he doesn’t spend $80,000 on flowers and jewelry. Two, I cannot get behind a holiday where anyone is forced to tell me that he loves me. If someone loves me, he should say it whenever he feels like it, not on some arbitrary day. And three, I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because of one specific incident that happened about 12 years ago.

My husband and I have been together since October 1996. That’s a lot of Valentine’s Days. Our first Valentine’s Day, I was drunk and he spent the night holding my hair back while I threw up.That’s actually the sweetest thing he’s done on Valentine’s Day. My husband is a notoriously bad gift giver, and his Valentine’s Day gifts are excruciatingly terrible.  One year, for my present, he bought me a balloon and cheesecake. While there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with a balloon and cheesecake, it was clearly something he had picked up last minute with absolutely no thought (the cheesecake was not exactly my favorite flavor). Then, to make matters worse, he ate the damn cheesecake while I was in the shower. After that, I was done. I couldn’t be disappointed anymore. So I quit Valentine’s Day.

It’s something I’ve maintained since Valentine’s Day 2000. And I’m not backing down. I think it’s a stupid waste of holiday, designed to make men in relationships feel guilty, women in relationships feel disappointed and single people feel depressed and pissed off. A happy day, indeed.

To celebrate how much money I’ve saved by not participating in this ridiculous greeting card holiday, I’ve selected the most romantic song I could think of–Ugly Kid Joe’s “Everything About You”.

Enjoy!

I’ve been wanting to use a Rise Against song for a Money Tune Tuesday for quite a while now. But I could never quite find the right one.

I’m a huge Rise Against fan. Not only do I think they’re music is incredible but most of their songs have quite a strong message. I once heard someone compare Sublime’s song to a wolf in sheep’s clothing; meaning, the message is pretty strong but the melody and presentation of the song don’t make it apparent that the song is about something so serious or disturbing. Rise Against does the same thing.  And their videos are equally powerful.

Instead of going with one of their more popular songs like “Help Is On The Way” or “Savior” or even their newest, “Satellite” (not to be confused with The Dave Matthews Band’s “Satellite”. Seriously, never confuse them), I’m going with their song “Audience of One”. I picked it because a lot of times, that’s how I feel.

When we started paying down debt, my husband and I lost a lot of friends. Our families didn’t understand our choices (for a variety of reasons) and many times, we felt like we were by ourselves. We had outgrown our previous lifestyle in favor of another more fiscally prudent one and most people couldn’t get behind it. It was hard for us to find kindred spirits to spend time with and, if we did, it was fleeting. So we accepted that, for the time being, it’s just us.

Being your own audience is a pretty liberating feeling. You don’t have to answer to anyone. You get to do things on your own terms, free from judgment and criticism. But it can get lonely. If you’re in a situation where you feel like you’re by yourself and no one’s listening (or supporting you), don’t give up. Just keep going down your path. Because eventually, all of those in the audience of one will add up to a pretty large crowd.

Note: While I am a fan of their music, I do not necessarily agree with their politics, advocacy or activism (if you watch the video, you’ll see what I’m talking about). There are some causes I 100% agree with and some that I do not. I try not to let that detract from how great their music is. 

I have always appreciated the gift of the First Amendment. The fact that we have the right to say whatever we want is, in my opinion, one of the greatest gifts we’ve been given. Do I think that some people take that too far sometimes? Absolutely. Do I think that just because people can say something means that they should? A resounding no. But do I think that the government should censor us? Hell no!

I am not an advocate of government sponsored censorship. Perhaps, on occasion, it is beneficial but overall, I want the government out of my business. I am a mature, responsible adult who can decide for herself what is appropriate and not appropriate to watch, read or listen to. I have morals and standards that do not need policing by anyone but myself. I am perfectly capable of monitoring my what my child watches, reads and listens to as well.

I get that there needs to be rules and standards, particularly for network television and radio. That’s fine. But rules are different than censorship. Censorship, in my opinion, flies in the face of the First Amendment. And that’s wrong.

I’ve felt this way for a long time. Particularly since the 7th grade, though I’m not sure why. There is no distinct memory I have from that time that prompted me to feel this way but I do remember using today’s money tune, Cinderella’s “Shelter Me”, as a visual aid for a 7th grade English project. For what it’s worth, I got an A. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the song and the video, which I assure you has something to do with money: