Confessions Archives

Confession: I don’t want to be famous

June 26, 2013 by Jana 9 Comments

Great movie and TV show. Bad lifestyle choice.

As you guys know from the great guest posts covering for me, I was in Nashville last week. Music City. A non-country music lover’s paradise (actually, after spending a week there, seeing some of the country music landmarks, and pretty much only being able to listen to it at the bars, I’ve come to an understanding with country music. Some of it’s not terrible. Some of it’s surprisingly good. And the stuff that is bad and unpleasant has agreed to stay away from me). But what struck me more than the fact I will now voluntarily listen to certain country acts is this: I have absolutely zero desire to be famous.

Many of the bands we saw really, really want to make it big. Some of them already have, garnering a decent amount of success and that’s cool (the members of the specific one I’m referring to are also ridiculously nice. And based on the small amount of famous and semi-famous people I’ve met, this is very unusual). But most of them haven’t. And holy crap, do they want to. Which is why I’m assuming they moved to Nashville in the first place (I have some thoughts on relocating to chase your dreams. We’ll discuss that another day).

But not me. I’m happy being unknown to approximately 99.99% of the world. Being a celebrity is not something that has ever appealed to me, not even as a kid. It just seems exhausting and kind of terrible. Because of this stuff:

Lack of privacy. Honestly, I don’t want people knowing that much about my daily life. I don’t want the world knowing the ins and outs of my relationships unless I choose to tell them. I want to go to a restaurant or Starbucks or take the child to Disney World and be able to do just that. I don’t want to have to stop to take pictures when I’m pumping gas or have it be a headline if I go out in public wearing mismatched shoes.
Criticism. Those who know me well know that I have major self-esteem issues. Major. Can you imagine having those issues in the celebrity culture? I’d go crazy thinking that all the negative stuff is true and all the positive stuff—if, in fact, there was any—was a lie. I’d have to go back on my meds and quite frankly, I’m doing really well without them. I’m not a strong enough person to have my work, my appearance, and my general choices scrutinized by complete strangers.
Always being “on”. When you’re a celebrity, particularly in our social media culture, there’s a tremendous amount of pressure to be available to your fans. I see it on Twitter all the time (because, yes, I do follow some famous people). Fans asking for this happy birthday message or that favor for whatever. And if you don’t oblige, people will consider you an asshole and you could potentially lose a fan and then money and who wants that?
Potential stalkers. I kid that I’ve always wanted a stalker because then I’d feel important but really, it’s a horrible joke and one that I shouldn’t make at all. Because stalking is terrible thing. It can, and has, taken awful turns resulting in things like theft, assault, and murder. It’s also extremely time consuming and expensive to deal with a stalker, not to mention spending that kind of time in a courtroom is nothing anyone wants. And, as a former probation officer, I’ve spent enough time in a courtroom. I’m good on that.

Then there’s also things like crazy hours, interviews (which, if you’ve listened to any podcasts I’ve been on, you know I’m terrible at), mandatory charity obligations lest you want to be thought of as a jerk, and let’s not even go into what happens if you have kids. There’s no way I’d want my daughter treated the way the media treats celebrity kids.

Of course, there are celebrities who manage to avoid all of this. I’d like to know how they do it. Because if fame ever happened for me, that’s the behavior I’d like to model.

Based on this, I think it’s a good thing that my tiny amount of talent lies not in front of a camera or playing guitar or telling joke on a stage, but writing words on a page. Writers almost never have to deal with the stuff on my list. So maybe it might be okay to be famous as long as I can go remain unrecognizable by anything other than name.

Maybe.

Confession: I pay for products that make my life easier

August 20, 2012 by Jana 9 Comments

I once confessed that I pay full price for things. And, yes, even with leaving my full-time job, I still do that, although on a much smaller scale (in fact, I’m on a use-everything-I-have-before-I-buy-new-unless-it’s-crucial kick). But there’s been something weighing on me lately that I also need to confess to you: I buy convenience products that make my life so much easier. And usually, I don’t use coupons to buy them.

I know. Shame on me for not exercising every frugal bone in my body. Especially now that our income is lower. But now that I work at home and take care of my child full-time, I’m a lot more pressed for time than I used to be (yes, I’m still trying to figure that one out, too) and there are certain products that save me even a few precious moments (and make my life way easier). Products like:

Venus spa breeze razor. Have you seen this? It’s a razor with the shaving cream built into the blades!!! I freaking love this thing. It means I don’t have to mess with shaving cream and spend time fighting with the shower so the shaving cream stays on my legs instead of running off and down the drain before I have a chance to get to it. I can’t believe how much time, energy and disgusting, messy shaving cream I’ve wasted. Thank you, Venus people. I don’t care that your razor blades cost over $10 for 4. I will buy them.
Pods. Not the kind from Cocoon or Invasion of the Body Snatchers but the kind that you use for your washing machine. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, they’re basically little packets of laundry detergent that dissolve in the wash while your clothes are being cleaned. You pick one up, toss it in with the clothes and that’s it. No fighting, measuring, or spilling detergent everywhere. No sticky mess in the detergent cup or on top of the washing machine (yes, I realize that that sounds really pornographic. But I swear that’s not what I meant). And now that I know these are available in dye and scent-free? Sign me up.
RedBox. Although we have the Netflix streaming edition, the movie selection is rather subpar, particularly for newer movies. Enter RedBox. We have kiosks located conveniently in our supermarket and a drugstore that is on my husband’s walking/running route so, if we want a movie, I reserve it online via the app on my phone and one of us picks it up. It’s a really cheap date night or a really good way to give myself an hour and a half of time to think while I park my child in front of a movie (yes, I do that. Don’t judge me). It’s absolutely worth the $1.09 or whatever it is for a movie (or Wii game. Because they do that now).
My iDevices. I am ~~kind of~~ madly in love with both my iPhone and my iPad. They both allow me to perform a variety of tasks that, under different circumstances, might be a bit cumbersome. For instance, sometimes when I’m driving with the child, I unexpectedly get stuck in traffic (or lost in Manhattan. That’s another story) and her behavior starts to get…unpleasant. When she’s exhausted all of her non-electronic entertainment, I can put on a playlist of songs on my iPhone, or let her use one of her interactive books or games on the iPad to keep her from ~~driving me insane~~ getting bored. It’s also nice to be able to do some work while she’s at swimming lessons or some other activity where I’m required to be present but can’t participate. I’m sure I could survive without them but really? I don’t want to.

So there you have it. Products that I will continue to pay for as long as I can for no other reason than they make my life easier.

Readers, I know I’m not the only one who does this. What are some of your “I’m paying for this and I don’t care” products?

The biggest financial mistake I’ve ever made

May 7, 2012 by Jana 11 Comments

I readily admit that I’ve made a substantial amount of financial mistakes. In fact, if I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t have much to write about. But there’s one mistake I’ve made that I’ve never shared with you. I’m not sure why I never shared it before (that’s a lie. I completely know why. It’s because I’m ashamed).

What’s interesting about this mistake is that it’s not something I did; rather, it’s something I didn’t do. And by not doing this, I caused myself years of debt repayment and minimal choices instead of saving my money and having options.

So what did I do? I didn’t listen to stellar and practical financial advice when it was put in front of me. For free.

My first job out of grad school was with the federal government, working in the Philadelphia region. In our office was a trained statistician who was extremely friendly and very nice. He and I would spend lots of time talking, particularly about money. He was a few years older than I, owned a house, and really seemed to have his finances in order. He would talk to me about the importance of paying off debt, saving for retirement, and would often share strategies than he and his wife used to manage their money. He even went so far as to create amortization spreadsheets for me for my credit card debt! (I told you, he was very nice.)

Here are some other tips he shared with me:

Have a budget. He advocated that knowing where your money is going is the first step to having a handle on your finances. He told me that he and his wife had a pretty strict budget but there was always wiggle room for fun and extras.
Once a month cooking. He would tell me how he and his wife would take one Sunday a month and prepare most of their meals. They would cook chicken and hamburger and casseroles…all kinds of different foods. They would freeze them in portions for dinner and lunches. Not only did he share how this saved them money but time as well.
Having a 15 year mortgage. He and his wife owned their home on a 15 year mortgage and made extra payments every month in order to pay the house off even quicker. He showed me an amortization spreadsheet (he really liked these) to illustrate how much interest they were saving in the long run.
Pay off your cars. My co-worker was a big advocate of buying used cars, taking care of them as much as possible and then driving them into the ground. I agreed with him because at this point, I didn’t have a car payment. However, I wanted to buy one and he discouraged me from doing so until my credit card debt was paid off. He did share that if I did buy one, I should purchase a used one and do whatever I could to pay it off quickly. He then told me how much money I would save per month without a car payment.
Don’t use the credit cards at all. He suggested that I pay with cash because it controls your spending and there’s no interest. He made the point that when you pay for something in cash, the payment is done. It doesn’t crop up on your later in the month. He did say that if I have to use a credit card, pay it off in full.

At the time he was giving me this information, I would listen politely, but in my head I scoffed at the information. I couldn’t, for the life of me, understand why he was telling me all of this. I had a hard time believing he was only 27 because he sounded like an old man. And, in what’s probably not very shocking, I dismissed the majority of what he told me. Why? I just wasn’t ready to hear it. I thought that I knew exactly what I was doing and the way this guy was living was boring.

But I was wrong. Completely and utterly wrong. I should have listened to what he told me and followed his advice as closely as possible. Had I done that, I would have spent the last 5 years saving money and being comfortable with some choices I want to make rather than paying off ridiculous amounts of debt and working in jobs that I hate just for a paycheck. I would have had the freedom to have the life I want.

Years later I found out that he and his wife were certified leaders of Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. Finding that out made so much click in my head, particularly with what he was sharing with me at the time we worked together. I totally got it.

So let this be a lesson. If the guy at work is preaching to you about ways to manage your money, listen. He probably knows what he’s talking about. And it will literally save you in the long run.

Confession: I don’t understand investing

March 7, 2012 by Jana 45 Comments

This post is a part of Women’s Money Week 2012. For even more posts about savings and investing, visit womensmoneyweek.com.

It’s been a long time since I’ve made a confession. I feel that you’re due. So here goes: I don’t know anything about investing.

For a personal finance blogger, that’s a pretty sad fact. But in my case, it’s true. There’s no good reason for it, either, except for the fact that it bores me to tears. I don’t care about the stock market. I don’t care about figuring out returns. I don’t care to know about bulls and bears unless it’s knowing how to avoid contact with them. And the tickers that run at the bottom of some news networks? Are more confusing than trying to figure out where the

Believe me, I know how awful that sounds. I know how important it is to understand all of that information. It affects my retirement fund, my interest rates (does it?), and so many other aspects of my finances that it actually does me a disservice not to understand it. But I just can’t bring myself to understand it. It’s a problem I’ve had since high school when my economics teacher attempted to teach us about stocks. It was so complicated and so boring to me, I tuned it out. It’s a pattern that’s just stuck.

That doesn’t mean I don’t invest. I do have a retirement account (or two) that are dependent on investing and stocks and all of that. Sadly, I have no clue which companies I’m invested in. I tried to care when I was picking the companies. My husband encouraged me to read portfolios and about long term rates of return and all of that. And I tried. I really did. But after 5 minutes, I stopped, picked the ones that had the most interesting names and went with that. And I haven’t made a single change since I first picked the stocks.

I want to understand investing. I try to read blogs and posts about investing. I follow news stories. I ask questions of people who know what they’re talking about. I’ve been making a concerted effort to learn but unfortunately, the harder I try, the worse it gets. For some reason, my brain will not allow me to absorb the information that’s available, no matter how well written or simplified (it is at the point I feel obligated to say that I believe if I knew less song lyrics and movie lines, there would be more room in my brain for this information). It’s as if I’ve been sprayed with investing repellant.

Sadly, I’m not alone. While I may be an anomaly in the personal finance world, I’m a statistic in the real world. In my real life, I don’t know a single woman who actually understands investing (or admits to understanding investing). Most of these women say that they leave it to their husbands to understand and take care of it; it’s just not something that they care to be bothered with or even care to comprehend. I think that’s where we differ. While they don’t care to learn or are more than happy to sit back and let their husbands take care of it, I genuinely want to learn. I just struggle more than I’d like.

I believe it’s extremely important for women to understand and learn about investing. It’s part of taking an active role in our finances. Relying on someone else to do it for us is no longer acceptable. And, if you’re willing to teach me about investing, and have an extreme amount of patience, please let me know. I really want to understand my retirement account.

I am the neighborhood bitch. And I’m fine with it.

January 25, 2012 by Jana 30 Comments

Today, as I was walking my dogs around the neighborhood per our usual routine, I had a revelation. I am the neighborhood bitch.

It’s not a title I wear proudly. But it’s not exactly a title I’m ashamed of. After almost 8 years, my neighbors and neighborhood have given me numerous reasons to be bitchy. And most of them involve money. When people talk about the hidden cost of homeownership, they talk about maintenance, cleaning, repairs…things of that nature. Very rarely do they tell you how your neighbors can cost you money. And believe me, they can cost you money.

Here are just a few ways how my neighborhood, and my neighbors have (and can) cost me money:

Homeowner’s Association dues. Let’s not even discuss how much I hate my HOA. It’s poorly run, the president (or treasurer, I’m not sure what she is) is incredibly unpleasant (as is her husband) and they have no concept of how to manage money. This is mainly due to the fact that over half of the houses in the neighborhood never pay their dues. And by never, I mean never. There are people who’ve been living in their house just a few months less than us and have never, not once, paid their dues. This is typical. And the HOA does nothing except…wait for it…raise dues. Yup, that’s right. They raise the dues to milk money out of those homeowners who do pay (like me) in order to cover the deficit left by the other houses. And schmucks like us continue to pay because a) it’s the right thing to do and b) we want to sell our house so we need to be in good standing. So, thanks, neighbors for never paying and for costing me $375 a year. [Read more…]

Confession: I don’t want to be famous

Confession: I pay for products that make my life easier

The biggest financial mistake I’ve ever made

Confession: I don’t understand investing

I am the neighborhood bitch. And I’m fine with it.

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