Today’s post is a guest post from my friend S who blogs at American Debt Project. American Debt Project is a blog about paying off debt and understanding the patterns and behaviors that get Americans into debt in the first place. She also blogs about income inequality, investing and the fascinating dynamics of living in Los Angeles and Southern California.

At the risk of sounding like a Cosmo magazine rip-off, a girl’s gotta have friends that she can talk to about anything. I consider myself lucky to have friends with whom I can discuss all manner of embarrassing, intimate and psychologically harrowing topics.

There’s been one topic burning a red hole in my mind lately: Jealousy. I found myself feeling completely jealous after seeing the website of someone who is a friend of a friend who just happens to be a professional surfer. When I saw her recent trips to Kauai, Bali and the Caribbean, I think I experienced some mild heartburn mixed with tangible anxiety as to why my life didn’t include exotic trips to warm, sunny beaches and photoshoots of me posing on said beaches. To make it worse, this girl is beautiful, much younger than me and probably makes quite a nice annual income before even graduating high school. I don’t begrudge her success because surfing is one of the toughest sports out there and she RIPS. After two years, I can still only ride the smallest of waves with my funboard. I know she’s talented and deserves success, but I was still thinking about it all day and wanting my own life to be filled with plane rides, free clothes from sponsors and lots of fun down time to hang out friends and post pictures to Instagram. I got even more worked up because it is simply too late for me to become a professional athlete at 28. “Why is this jealousy consuming me?!”

 I knew exactly which of my friend/therapists I needed to discuss this with, and we were headed out to dinner that night. As soon as I got in the car with her, I asked her: “Have you…like…ever felt jealous of anyone?” She looked at me like I might have suffered a concussion earlier that day. “Uh yeah, all the time!” She mentioned that some of her friends from college had found serious success with some multi-level marketing company they had started (which is the only way to make money from a MLM) and were always posting photos on Facebook of their newfound wealth. But she had a simple solution: “I just started defriending them. I think the last picture I saw was his orange Lamborghini and after that I just deleted him. I don’t need to see that every day.”

That, my friends, is the definition of a good friend. I realized how awesome this girl is who can be so honest with me and herself and give such simple but useful advice as don’t pore over photos of people who make you jealous. It wasn’t getting me anywhere to look at photos of rainbows over the Islands of Aloha which made me want to bang my head against my cubicle wall. And what’s worse, I was mad at myself for having a normal reaction of jealousy.

I have a confession: I am a little bit holier than thou. I think that I never ever feel jealous or envious, when the truth is that for the most part, I don’t feel jealous of other people’s lives because their goals are not my goals. I don’t lust for an orange Lamborghini, that picture would have probably just made me laugh. I don’t want a high-powered corporate job because I’ve had the 70-80/hr week corporate job and I’m not sure I could handle that kind of stress long-term (at least not working for someone else). I don’t want a Louis Vuitton handbag. So I can look at people’s lives and think, “Well, good for them. I’m glad they’re happy.” But when I saw someone living out a life that seems to me like absolute perfection, I did get jealous. I want the freedom to do those things too, without going into debt for it.

It’s OK to feel jealous sometimes. You don’t have to pretend like you are completely Zen and happy for everyone and 100% satisfied with your own life. In fact, if you’re reading a personal finance blog, you are probably looking to improve your life in at least a few aspects. But just remember not to dwell on that envy for too long, or spend an hour on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram feeding your mind with images of someone else’s happiness. I may not have a perfect life, but I still wouldn’t trade for anyone else’s life, no matter how many cheetah-print bikinis and double rainbows are involved.

 

 

This is a guest post written by Suzanne Cramer, a certified credit counselor and a Social Media Specialist for Care One Debt Relief Services. Suzanne writes for Divorce, Debt and Finances andA Straight Talk on Debt. Follow Suzanne on Twitter @ADivorcedMom and @AskCareOne where she stares her insights on divorce and managing your finances. 

Recent economic forecasts show signs of improvement but with the state of the economy over the past few years, preparedness is the best way to ensure you and your family is safe from economic harm.

Everyday we hear about layoffs corporate downsizing, foreclosures, and bankruptcies filed by those who just couldn’t keep up.

So while the economy is said to be on the rebound what steps can you take to safeguard your financial future and survive the economic roller coaster?

Pay off debt

Paying off debt is the first step to financial freedom regardless of where the economy is headed. So your first priority should be to pay off any unsecured debt such as credit cards as quickly as possible. While easier said than done there are several options when it comes to tackling your debt and putting yourself ahead of the game.

Emergency savings

We hear about the importance of having an emergency fund all the time. Why is it so important? Life is unexpected and just as unpredictable as our economy. Having an emergency fund can keep you afloat during tough times and see you through a lay off or medical emergency. If you don’t have an emergency fund yet, open a new savings account, and start making regular deposits. Even if you can only afford to save small amounts, your money will add up over time.

Become indispensable & stay up to date

As unemployment rates are still unstable, you’ll want to do everything you can to ensure your income. If you’re currently employed but uncertain about the future, try to make yourself indispensable at work by increasing your visibility, taking on new responsibilities, and continually honing your skills with job training or advanced education.

If you’re unemployed, update your résumé, re-connect with your contacts, and expand your network

Give it up

Many of us are living a lifestyle we can’t afford. If this is you, the easiest way to ready yourself is to spend less than you earn. So if weekly manicures, daily lattes, and expensive cell service don’t fit into your budget-make the cuts. Giving up luxuries improves your bottom line and will make the difference if things don’t go as planned.

Use good shopping sense

Bargain hunt, compare prices, and pass on items you don’t really need. To determine whether a potential purchase is a necessity, ask yourself if you can truly afford the item, and do a cost-benefit analysis. You may find that some goods are just too valuable to pass up, while others are a waste of money.

Keep Everything in Perspective

According to experts, many Americans are experiencing acute stress, anxiety, and sleeplessness as the result of job losses, foreclosures, and other economic uncertainties. And these symptoms not only take emotional toll; they can increase your risk for serious physical conditions, such as obesity, smoking, alcohol abuse, and heart disease. For this reason, it’s important to keep a positive attitude, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and remember this to shall pass.

Although you can’t change the economy, you can help yourself by being prepared.

To find out if you’re truly prepared, take this quiz, “Are Your Finances Recession-Proof?” And see how you stack up!