It was only a matter of time before I wrote this post.
Since a good number of you who read this blog have already met me, you can validate what I’m about to say: I have big boobs.
It’s something I’ve been cursed with my entire teenage and adult life. Seriously, since high school. It was humiliating. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more accepting of them and I realize that they’re here to stay. But as I’ve become more accepting of what I have, I continue to be stunned by women who want these so much that they’re willing to pay large sums of money for them. Breast implants are one of the most ridiculous wastes of money. Ever. Unless you’re in a specific industry that rewards that type of enhancement, big boobs cost more than just the surgery.
A few examples of how:
- Bras. Anyone who wears anything other than a training bra knows how expensive these damn things are. The larger your chest is, the more expensive the bra, especially if you need a minimizer bra. Then there’s the cost of getting them not from a department store or an outlet store, but a specialty store where they fit every single part of your chest and the bras cost about $100 a piece. If you do this twice a year and buy 5 bras at a time, you’ve now spent $1K on bras. That is most likely double what an ordinary person would spend. And you don’t even get to buy those cute, frilly fun bras.
- Clothes. Oy, clothes. I hate them. If I could wear oversized sweatshirts my whole life, I’d be fine. Since I can’t, I have to make one of two choices: clothes that are too small on my chest but fit the rest of me or clothes that are so big I look like Walter Hudson. The first choice involves buying a camisole or something similar to wear underneath, especially for button-down shirts (which are my preference. The second choice involves some creative laundering or a tailor. Either way, I can’t buy stuff right off the rack without incurring additional costs. And let’s not even discuss the humiliation and expense that is a bathing suit. It’s not fun having to tack on an extra $100 or so each time I want to go clothes shopping just so I can compensate for my chest.
- Health costs. I have been fortunate that my boobs have not caused any major health problems for me. But there are a number of women who have back problems, shoulder problems, etc from being top heavy as well as self-conscious about their boobs, which leads to poor posture (I can totally identify with this). They have to go to chiropractors, doctors…some even need to have breast reduction surgery to deal with it. Carrying that kind of weight up front can do a lot of damage to a woman’s body, and that damage can be costly, especially if insurance won’t cover it.
- Laundry. I’ll admit it. I’m also a clumsy eater. An unfortunate side effect to my large boobs and clumsy eating is that my shirt wind up acting like a napkin. I have stained more shirts than I can keep track of. This means that I have to do extra laundry and always keep a consistent supply of Shout wipes in my purse at all times (for the record? I love these things). The constant laundry and the fact that I can single-handedly keep the Shout brand in business means I’m having to spend extra money. Of course, I can just stop eating all together and avoid the stain problem that way. That would actually save money. I guess it’s a thought…
For those of you who believe that having big boobs is a sign of being overweight, well, you’ve got a point. But there are plenty of women who are not overweight–including me for quite a while–who are well endowed. And as I continue to lose the baby weight that has somehow managed to take quite a liking to me despite my attempts to get rid of it, my chest size has not decreased. It’s frustrating and annoying but I refuse to have surgery to deal with it. I’ll compensate in other ways, even if it means increasing my clothes budget or keeping my arms folded over my chest whenever possible.
And for those of you contemplating a boob job, I want to emphasize the point that having a large chest is not a long-term solution to any self-esteem problems. You may think that now you’ll feel better about yourself, and I’m sure you will. But please trust me when I say that padded bras are definitely a better solution.
Wow…I could have written that post. Well, almost. I finally did choose surgery for a reduction because of the back problems I was having. Had nothing to do with weight, I’m very small and petite, but I looked like Dolly Parton. Love Dolly, but did not want to look like her. I so often wonder about people who do choose implants. While I don’t think they are a good idea, I can kind of see their point of view. I also did the reduction to help me psychologically. I was tired of being viewed in a certain way. Maybe it helps their own perception of themselves. In my opinion, it is a waste of money. But if they have the money for it and helps them feel better about themselves then why not.
Marci, I certainly don’t begrudge anyone who wants to and has the means to afford a boob job. I just think that they need to weigh all the options before they decide to do it.
Only a financial blogger could draw these connections between mammories and monies. Nicely written.
A friend of ours actually had breast reduction surgery to help resolve some of the neck and back problems you mention.
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Thanks for mentioning that, Hunter. I think that people need to realize that there is a lot more to having a large chest and it is often painful, which can then require surgery to alleviate the pain. It’s simply not worth it.
As a guy, I probably can’t contribute to this conversation in any way that wouldn’t make me sound like a creep, so I’ll just say “Have a great weekend” and leave it at that 🙂
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Thanks 🙂
HAHAHAHAHA I love the input MB!
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First off I HEART you. Second off I can NOT relate at all. Let’s just say I have been on the opposite side of the spectrum my whole life and have been know to chant “I must, I must I must increase my bust!” a few times in my life. Until I had my first baby and was nursing. I was so big, I had to walk with my arms out like I was some sort of body builder! From that moment on I have been content with my size. Although, I must say three babies later I have grown to a “normal” size!
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Yeah, sometimes they can make you feel like the kid in A Christmas Story “I can’t put my arms down”! But I’m glad that you’re comfortable with your size now. I’m sure Judy Blume would be proud!
I’ve known a number of people who’ve had breast reduction surgery due to health issues, and every single one of them was thrilled.
Like you, I hate the fact that I have to go to specialty stores to buy my bras. (Funny, just this morning I was noticing I needed new bras and was trying to think where the money would come from.)
I don’t need a minimizer, but I’m still big enough (and yes for me, a good part of this is my overall weight) that Target doesn’t carry my size. I did discover that the Playtex outlet store near (as in 30 miles away) does carry my size, and has bras with straps that won’t fall off my stupid sloping shoulders. Still, I don’t shop there for anything else, so once you figure in the gas expense, it’s not like I’m saving money over going to the fat girl store (or Nordys. Nordys carries everything, but usually for more than I want to pay.)
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I am fortunate that I can still buy bras off the rack but the quality is so poor that I’m considering going to a specialty store. Like you, I’m just wondering where the money is going to come from!
I feel like forwarding this to some of my “friends” who have gotten MASSIVE breast implants. I have no idea why they think it’s fun to pay more for bras, buy clothes that don’t fit, basically kill yourself when exercising (or wear a sports bra that cuts off circulation) just to have big breasts.
It sucks.
But my stepmom ended up having implants 3 years ago, and she finally saw why me and my sisters thought she was crazy for getting double D’s. It’s all wrong for every reason you mentioned here. And I totally feel your pain. I don’t have massive boobs (like my sister does) but mine get in the way enough, and I have to order full coverage bras.
The getting in the way is what bothers me the most. I can’t run, jump or do certain things because my boobs just get in the way. It’s sucks feeling stationary.
For Mrs. 101, the pregnancy boob fairy came and never left. After our second son, she had to do reduction surgery to relieve serious back and neck pain. After the surgery, the pain was greatly lessened. Like the title, by the way. Clever.
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I like that “the boob fairy”. The boob fairy visited me quite early in life, and after my pregnancy it’s gotten worse. I hope that I can keep it at bay and not have to go through the surgery. But thank you for pointing out that having surgery is way more common than people think!
As a gynecologist, I’ve counseled many on both sides of the issues. It is rare that anyone changes their minds if they want implants. The points about implants rupturing, being replaced, getting scared and hardened don’t seem to matter.
As to the reduction, 90+% are happy, but I’ve had a few who didn’t like the degree of scaring with surgery. Most are happy though for the reasons you’ve stated.
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I cannot relate at all, but it’s nice to hear the other side of things. The grass is always greener. I don’t think I’d ever want to get implants though, there’s just something unsettling about putting foreign objects in my body.
My hair and nails grow CRAZY fast, and everybody always tells me how lucky I am. They don’t think about the downside, most of us never do. Thanks for sharing your boobs with us, it’s a great reminder to accept and love what we have. 🙂
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