A couple of months ago, I decided to take a break from blogging (you can read about that here). I thought that by taking a break, I’d be able to get my bearings, reset, and continue with this little space of mine. You know what’s happened, though?
The exact opposite.
The more time I spend away from blogging, the more I realize the true source of my break was the simple fact that I just don’t know what to talk about anymore. I’m not that interesting. I don’t have any sage advice on life or careers or food or fashion or weight loss or whatever it is the kids these days are writing about. I don’t have any passion projects that require discussion. I won’t write a mommy blog because my daughter’s stories are not mine to tell. I don’t even think I’m that great of a parent (not even kidding, we did a science experiment last week and I convinced her to test the ph of whiskey. Who does that?) so a parenting blog is out. I’ve stopped trying to offer any sort of coaching or freelance writing so there’s no self-promotion to fill up some posts. My life is boring as hell (need evidence? Check out my Instagram) and not at all fodder for content. Sure, I have opinions on books and politics and TV shows and current events but does anyone really give a fuck?
Most likely not. So I keep them to myself. It also does not help that the more I ruminate on this, the more I realize I’m a pretty fucking private person. I’m not one to share my goals and plans. I mean, I’ve done it and we can talk about all the reasons I’ve failed which might actually be something semi-decent to write about, but it’s not in my nature to have a whole series devoted to my weight loss or how I’m working on being more productive. I generally keep that bottled up because while I love hearing about that from others, in my head, I feel like I’m burdening or annoying people with my words on that stuff.
There’s also this. I have had some rather unpleasant things happen to me over the last 5 years. I’ve talked about them (you can check out the mental health archive for all of those posts) both for catharsis and for the sake of others going through them so that they know they’re not alone. But I simply cannot define myself by the bad shit. I cannot immerse myself, day in and day out, with those events. For some people it is healing; for me it is not. When I was a PO, I told my clients that what they’ve done is not necessarily a reflection of who they are. I feel the same way for me. And I can’t run a depression blog or an infertility blog without compromising my quality of life. So I’m not going to do that.
The result is a blog that’s a mess that lacks focus and purpose. The lack of focus makes it difficult for me to come up with topics and content that are even a basic version of entertaining, never mind engaging or helpful. But I love writing. It makes me feel alive and creative and turns on my brain in ways that is generally lacking in my life. It makes me feel put together on days I can’t even put my underwear on the right way (which actually happened. Making it worse? The fact that I didn’t notice until that evening, at a minor league baseball game, in a public bathroom stall). So not writing is not an option anymore.
But where to go from here? I want this to be a space that’s entertaining but also helpful. Because, at my core, in the places only awkward people like me talk about at parties, is an innate desire to be useful and helpful. I need and want to feel like I’m writing with a purpose.
I just don’t know what that purpose is yet.
So I guess this is my long-winded way of saying my blog is having a mid-life crisis. And I’d love it if you guys would stick around like a patient spouse while I get it all sorted out. It’s probably going to be a wild and twisted ride until we get there but we’ll get there.
There must be something in the water, because I feel similarly and read a post today saying many of the things you are.
I think, in blogs “about nothing” (in the best way), I appreciate any relateable tidbits that the blogger shares. Your underwear story makes me feel much better about leaving the house in my rattiest sports bra the other day and rocking a totally awful uniboob for a few hours in public.
And I love your book talk so I would definitely welcome a dose of more TV talk in my life- bring it on! Focus or not, I hope you continue to write whenever you feel inclined.
You’re not alone. Just know that. We’re here waiting for you & its OK to blog whatever. Dont feel like you have to have some sort of specific style or MUST in a direction – life is life. It’s all over the place. your blog can be too 🙂
I don’t really have a direction or purpose of my blog either. I just share whatever is on my mind and throw in some recipes and things I like in between. And I kind of like that in other blogs too, some variety and real life things. I feel like a lot of bloggers are in a slump right now. Many have cut back on posts or took some time off this summer as well. Fall seems to be the busy season in blog world so maybe we will all get inspired once those leaves start to change and it cools down for us enough to think. Ha! Either way I will be here whenever you write because I think you are one cool chick and I like what you have to say…whatever it may be.
Honestly sometimes the blogs that are super polished bore me. I like reading the day-to-day lifestyle pieces and just what people are thinking about, whether that’s PF-related or not. On another note, sometimes things just run their course. Maybe this blog, or blogging at all is not the writing you should be doing that’s good for you. You can still write, but maybe it’s not for an audience right now. There is no one out there saying you HAVE to blog and just because you HAD one you need to keep it going. Just do what feels right to you.
I’m always interested in hearing people’s thoughts on what they think blogging should be, because it’s totally different for everyone. You’ve got people who use them basically like a diary, and then there’s people who don’t discuss most day-to-day stuff but are happy to share their opinion on every social issue under the sun (pointing a finger at myself here), and there’s those who are so niche and helpful that you don’t have a good sense of their personality because their posts are always on topic. I personally like to ramble, and whenever I’ve worried about what I should or should not talk about, I find myself struggling (like my business blog, which is mostly crickets), and I’m happiest when my blog is working for me, whether that’s documenting my progress (or lack thereof) towards self improvement or opining my little heart out. Sometimes it amazes me that anybody wants to read it at all, because it’s so self-centered, but I’ve made good friends through it and that was enough of a purpose for me. If you need more purpose, I can totally understand where you’re coming from and I hope you find it! I went almost a month without writing and I’m definitely happier when I’m churning out posts. For the record, I’ve always enjoyed your book-related posts, be that Show Us Your Books, or the family judging covers ones.
Hey, I wrote a post kind of like this today too…that’s ironic.
I know what you mean and I get it. It’s really hard to blog when there’s things you’ve declared off-limits and when it seems like every other blog is offering a service of some sort.
Like the others have said, I’ll be here reading what you write when you’re ready to write it!
You have absolutely no idea how much I relate to this. Solidarity, sister.
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I’m so glad you’re “back.” No pressure, but I’ve been patiently waiting. Please don’t put that much pressure on yourself — it’s hard for people like us who have Seinfeld blogs (“it’s about nothing”) but that doesn’t mean we don’t have insightful and interesting things to say. I always love reading your words & hope I get the chance to read them more often again. Hope all is well! 🙂
You know, I could get winded with my response. Let’s just say this – I like “wild and twisted” rides, and I like you…so I’ll be here with you for the ride, wherever that takes us.
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With you along the journey we call life…
Xo
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straight up, i’m boring AF and like you, i don’t know what to blog about half the time. most of my posts get abandoned because even i get bored typing it out! i did a quick look at my last few posts and they’re pretty much the same thing weekly.
that said, i like that i have an option to blog, even if my shit is boring as hell and most of the time, i just vomit shit out onto the page. i also prefer blogs that are that – personal, personable, relatable. from time to time, i don’t mind the blogs with advice or purpose etc (ie. “5 ways to…” or “how to….”) but that tells me nothing of the author and what goes on in their daily life. while people may think that blogging about their weekend, things they want to buy or trips they want to take, goals/updates etc, i actually like those posts! they’re real and normal.
come here when you can. we will always be here 🙂
I like the blogs that aren’t trying to tell me what to do or how to do it the best. Just a glimpse into someone’s life or thoughts, the big things or little things.
What appears on my blog is what I feel like sharing or talking about then. Very often I share things so I have a resource for myself – remember when I made that? Where is that recipe. What did I do for that shower? Oh, there it is. If people like it, cool. If not, cool.
Use it for the outlet and fuck the rest.
Did you crawl into my head & write out all my thoughts? Because I swear I could have written this almost to the letter.
For what it’s worth, I like random blogs. Mine is. I think as long as you enjoy what you write, that’s what matters. And I hope you find a way to enjoy it again.
I agree with other commenters…I like reading honest blogs that are about a variety of things. I enjoy reading your blog, so I’m sure that’s reason enough to keep on writing 🙂
Just food for thought . . . and like most people have said above . . . I really just like hear about the day to day life of folks. It doesn’t have to be extraordinary or teach me something . . . just honest and real. In fact, I tend to glaze over the blogs that have one particular theme . . . for example, makeup or exercise or fashion or infertility. I just don’t need that info on a daily basis . . . I can search it when it relates. But to tell me your funnies and weird underwear stories and thoughts on events . . . that’s what I like. But bottom line, we will still be here reading! 🙂
Girrrrrrl, I swear you’re my soulmate / spirit animal / I don’t know what because I could tweak a few words here and there but basically write this exact post. I haven’t blogged consistently since my mom died two years ago. And often I think “oh, this would make a great blog post” and even my husband will say that to me, but I just don’t do it. When I got cancer, I knew I wanted to talk about it but not become a cancer blog. I do want to be able to talk about whatever, whenever. Like you, I’ve had some shit go down the past several years and I should use this outlet more without being bogged down in one certain topic.
On a couple other notes – I love that you thought testing the ph of whiskey was a good idea for your daughter! AND with regard to your Instagram, you got me to check out True Crime Garage and now I know that these dudes are in Columbus, which is cool and now I’m obsessed.
First, welcome back, Jana. I missed you. Lots! And I hear you. I still struggle with the purpose of my blogs too, because everyone says you have to have a “niche”, which is true and false. I think if your goal is to monetize your blog, than yes, you probably need to have a very targeted focus/purpose/theme. If you not, you have a lot more leeway. My life is ultra boring too. I work. Play with Max. Eat. Watch tv. Read. Seriously, that’s all I do. No one wants to hear about my boring day, including me! Like you, I am also a private person and don’t always want to share what is going on in my life either. I have always enjoyed what you’ve written in the past and it is my impression so do your readers. So don’t change for us. We like hearing your thoughts, whether they are profound or silly. You just keep on being you and I’ll always read what you have to say.
i am glad you are back! i do hope you stick around, i always enjoy reading what you have to say, no matter what it is about.
i am definitely not trying to pretend i have been through anything like you, but i have had some crappy things happen in my life, and i cannot immerse myself in them either. i need to not focus on them, i need to think and focus on the good, or even the mundane, as long as it isn’t bad.
i know everyone has already said it, but i agree – i like the random blogs, that i never know what i’m gonna get when i visit. you might not think you are being helpful or useful, but it’s nice to know other people put their underwear on inside out. that is helpful, useful, entertaining and funny.
i am not a writer, i purely blog and read blogs as a hobby and for enjoyment. i would love for people to enjoy it as well, but if they don’t, no big deal. it just makes me realise we would not likely be friends in real life, and i am okay with that. don’t want to spend ‘time’ with people i don’t like.
anyway. i think you’re a great parent, too. my mum was never really involved in projects and such, not trashing my mum, she was just very busy and on her own and i know she did the best she could etc etc but i wouldn’t have minded her being involved, whiskey or not. hahaha.
Dude. I’m in.
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