Personal finance guru Dave Ramsey coined a phrase that he repeats over and over again, like a mantra for those wanting to get out of debt and gain control over their money. He encourages his followers to think that “Debt is normal. Be weird”. It’s a nice concept, one that my husband and I used during our time paying down the bulk of our debt. The phrase kept us going when it got tiring using the money to pay off a credit card. It lifted our spirits when everyone we knew was spending and we were at home, watching another movie from the library. It became, as Mr. Ramsey intended, our family motto.
But now it’s more than a motto. It’s a way of life. We’ve become accustomed to using cash or a debit card. It’s not unheard of for us to abstain from buying something if we don’t have the money to pay for it upfront (the only exception were our cars). The list goes on. We never want to go back to the place where we barely had enough money for food because our debt was so high. So we apply what we’ve learned and choose not to make those same mistakes.
At this point, Mr. Ramsey’s version of “weird” is just our normal. And we’re okay with that. By eliminating the majority of our consumer debt, we’ve opened up a whole new world for ourselves. In this world, there’s room for a new motto:
Be brave.
Being brave is hard. It’s harder than being fearless because being fearless means just that—you have no fears. To me, being brave is admitting you have fears and doubts and insecurities and facing them head on. Being brave is standing up to what you think may knock you down, and then getting up again when it does. Being brave is exhausting because it takes all that you have to keep going even when you want to quit. Being brave is hard because it means accepting who you are, including your faults, and then admitting it. Which is never easy.
But above all, being brave is where everything starts. Without bravery, we don’t take that first step. We don’t admit what we really want out of life or a relationship (romantic or friendship or even familial). We don’t make the choice to leave something that makes us unhappy. We don’t share with the world what scares us and what’s wrong with us in the hopes that by doing so will make one less person feel alone. We don’t take that first step towards paying off our debt.
Essentially, without bravery, nothing gets done.
I never thought of myself as a brave person. I thought I was just a regular chick, floating along in my corner of the world. I didn’t think I’d ever done anything above average or out of the ordinary. And I was okay with that. Then, in one of my sleepless nights, I started doing some thinking about all that I’ve done in my life. And I realized I’m pretty damn brave! After all I’ve:
- Stayed in a marriage that most people would have left
- Announced to the world (or at least the readers of this site) that I have both depression and secondary infertility
- Left a job that made me unhappy to pursue a career as a writer
- Started, and then completed, my consumer debt payoff journey
- Began this blog, and then, barely knowing anyone, attended FinCon11 3 months later
I’m sure there are a few other parts of my life that I could classify as brave but those are the highlights.
When I think about how far I’ve come as a person just by being brave (and admittedly a little weird, too), it makes me feel good about myself. I’m happy with the person I’m becoming and reflecting on those choices, I don’t think I would have done anything differently.
If you’re apprehensive about any choices you’re facing, that’s okay. It’s normal to feel that way. And it’s even more normal to take your time to make those decisions. But when it all comes down to it, you’re going to make the choice that’s best for you, even if it’s not a popular, common or even practical.
Because you are brave.
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I really wanted to go to fincon this year but I think it would rock the boat at work. Here is to hoping fincon 13 is in the middle or end of a month.
Lance@MoneyLife&More recently posted…Credit Card Sign Up Bonuses: How I Made $443 in 5 Minutes
love, Love, LOVE this post!
I love this post!
bogofdebt recently posted…Friday the 13th’s Link Love
What an awesome post! I don’t know that i’ve done anything that would be considered brave.
Daisy @ Add Vodka recently posted…We PF Bloggers Are a Self Centered Bunch
This post really spoke to me. Thank you Jana. I going to embark on a couple of big things over the next year, and this is a good reminder. Be brave.. I’m going to be repeating that phrase to myself.
Well Heeled Blog recently posted…Holding Off on Merging Finances
Hey Dana,
Great post, and you are definitely brave in my book! I always remind my son (who has had to endure more than his fair share of difficult circumstances in life)that bravery is not the absence of fear, but rather the recognition of it, then doing whatever needs to be done despite it. We’re all scared – but only a few of us find the courage to face our fears, and that’s what makes the difference in our lives. If that’s called “Weird”, then we are proud “Weirdos”!
Ever read “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”? Awesome book on this topic.
Cheers
You are a brave woman Jana! So proud of all you’ve done and accomplished so far. You’ve only just begun 🙂
Mackenzie recently posted…The Frugal… and the Not So Frugal
Great Post Jana!
Hey – Are you attending FinCon12? I think I’m going to go too! Hopefully we can meet up! 🙂
Nivene@Cashnet recently posted…The SMART Way to Set Goals
Sounds brave to me — you’re inspiring me to be more brave! It’s much easier to be super conservative and safe.
Kathleen @ Frugal Portland recently posted…I paid off $11,800 in eleven months!
You are EXTREMELY brave. I became a regular reader after your heartfelt, gritty post about depression. I’d say you’re braver than most.
Housewife Empire recently posted…Backlink! Backlink! Backlink!
I like the message, Jana. Sometimes we need to just push our fears aside and move forward for the sake of being true to who we are and what we want to do. I too have been taking such steps in recent years and it’s been great!
Squirrelers recently posted…Squirreling Gone Wild: The Frugal Olympics
You’re one of the bravest people I know! So proud of how far you’ve come! Hoping I can be brave like you and go to freelancing fulltime next year!
Admitting you have depression is definitely brave. Making your relationship work? That’s brave too (sometimes, leaving is the easy way out).
You are brave, and strong, and your unique voice is why I love your blog.
Being brave is hard. But it’s worth it.
Kris @ BalancingMoneyandLife recently posted…Saving Money on a Family Road Trip
I totally agree with the line: “Essentially, without bravery, nothing gets done.” It’s hard to be brave and do the right thing. Being brave for me meant leaving a 5 year serious relationship that wasn’t meant to be, leaving a job that made me so stressed and unhappy it affected my health and not having another lined up, pushing myself physically, mentally and emotionally to become certified as a fitness instructor and asking a guy on a first date who is now the love of my life.
MakintheBacon$ recently posted…Dating in the Workplace: Recipe for a Bad Romance?