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Show Us Your Books, December edition: The one where I didn’t read a lot

December 13, 2016 by Jana 28 Comments

I don’t know what happened this month. It’s been 5 weeks since the last Show Us Your Books and I read exactly 5 books. That’s one a week. WAY below my average. I mean, I know it’s not a competition and sometimes the pace slows and it’s all fine but when I’m trying to tackle a huge pile and the library keeps sending me more, it feels like a race. I suppose I could stop putting books on hold but let’s be honest, that’s not going to happen. So. We continue the epic battle of me vs. library. show-us-your-books-2016-300by300

As for what I read last month, I had 2 books I almost quit but in the end, I’m glad I didn’t. And of the 5, only 2 were strong; the others were good but not great. I wouldn’t say don’t read them but I wouldn’t say bump them to the top of your TBR, either. Let’s explore:

Truly Madly Guilty by Liane Moriarty. Confession: I confuse her and Jojo Moyes all the time. I don’t know why. Anyway, this books is not my favorite of hers. It was meh. The storytelling annoyed the fuck out of me. She dragged out storylines for the sake of mystery and it fell flat. The characters were mostly irritating and unlikable yet not enough to make me stop reading so there’s that. I thoroughly enjoyed the last few chapters (though not the last one because Clementine sucks the most). The mostly strong finish offset a generally mediocre novel. Not the best but not the worst book I’ve ever read.

The Mothers by Brit Bennett. This will be the topic of the newest episode of The Armchair Librarians when season 2 launches in January so I’m not going to give too much away. It’s an absolutely phenomenal book. Sad and engaging and heartbreaking and heartwarming. The writing is stellar. I loved the characters and the stories and everything about it. It’s like a perfectly finished puzzle: once you see how it all comes together, it just clicks and you understand. This is the kind of book that reminds me why I love reading.

The Summer That Melted Everything by Tiffany McDaniel. The struggle was REAL with this one. At first, it was a DNF but instead I just put it down and came back to it a couple of weeks later. I’m glad I did. I mean, this book is S-L-O-W for the first 250 pages but the last 60 make it worth the slog. Sad, powerful, explosive, heartwrenching. I’m not a huge fan of her writing but you get over the pretentiousness after awhile. I loved, eventually, all the characters and the narrative punches you in the gut at the end. Note: although this is labeled as a YA book, it most definitely is not.

I’m Just a Person by Tig Notaro. I think Tig is awesome and hilarious and I was thrilled to find out she wrote a book. And it was enjoyable. She’s such a great writer and a badass survivor. However, having watched and read interviews and her Netflix special, I don’t feel like I learned a ton more about her. It was interesting to get a glimpse inside her head during that one year and how she dealt and survived and pushed through. She’s definitely inspiring but the book was average.

All is Not Forgotten by Wendy Walker. This is the other book I’ll almost DNF. I wanted to quit because the narrator is condescending and arrogant and insufferable. But once you realizes he’s actually a sociopathic narcissist, it becomes a whole different book. He reminded me of an unlikable Joe (from YOU and Hidden Bodies) and that helped me get through. The plot was engaging enough and the twist at the end was both predictable and shocking and definitely worth finishing the book for. If you can get over the narrator’s tone, it’s a worthy read.

TL;DR: The only one that’s a must read is The Mothers. Please, please read it. 

And FYI, there’s another SUYB on December 27, where we’re asking you to join us and talk favorite books of the year. And as a thank you for all the support, Steph and I are hosting our annual holiday giveaway. The winner gets an Amazon gift card and a donation to Dolly’s Imagination Library will be made in the winner’s name. So, linkup, enter, and let’s talk books! (Giveaway is below the linkup)

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Filed Under: Books Tagged With: books, linkups, reading

My Christmas not to-do list

December 6, 2016 by Jana 21 Comments

December is a weird, expensive month for my family. Between Christmas and Hanukkah and the child’s birthday, all of our money goes away. We manage it the best we can but still. See you in January, cash, along with my sanity, organization, and clean(ish) house.

That said, we do have some holiday traditions that, thankfully, are free or mostly free. Driving around to look at lights, decorating gingerbread houses (from a kit, usually purchased a Michael’s with a coupon. Please do not think I’m ambitious enough to make that shit from scratch), and watching The Muppets Christmas Carol. In fact, here’s our full list. It’s pretty much remained the same in the two years since I wrote it.

But since I like balance, let’s talk about all the thing I do not do at Christmastime.

not-to-do

  • Employ The Elf on the Shelf. First of all, it’s fucking creepy. Second of all, I’m way too lazy to remember to move the thing. Third, why am I going to make messes and projects that I’m going to have to clean up?
  • Drink from Starbucks red cups. I hate Starbucks coffee. It’s disgusting. I’m not a fan of their hot chocolate either. And why am I going to pay $9 for a cup of hot tea simply because it’s in a red cup? Or spend 48 minutes in line waiting to spend $9 on tea in a red cup? I’m not. So I drink my candy cane tea from my Muppets mug instead and I don’t even have to leave my house. See also: eggnog. Why does it exist?
  • Send holiday cards. This is one of those “one day I’ll do it” things and finally I realized that no fucking way is it ever going to happen because I’m too forgetful and I lose addresses and like with the creeper Elf, lazy. I’m sorry, friends. I love you but no cards from me.
  • Watch Love Actually. Confession: I’ve never seen it. I’m not really sure I care to. Don’t even know where to find it if I did want to watch it. See also: all the other Hallmark/Lifetime type Christmas movies. 
  • Wear holiday manicures. The closest I’ll come is some sparkly red nail polish I have. But snowmen or Santa hats or whatever the hell else ambitious people get painted on their nails? No and no.
  • Listen to Christmas music. This where it gets tricky. While I LOATHE most Christmas music, some of the nontraditional songs are pretty fun. My husband, however, enjoys all the songs so we compromise. I made a playlist mixed with both types and we listen to it on only two days: gingerbread house day and Christmas day.
  • Attend an ugly sweater party. This implies that I’m going to attend a party and I’m 100% confident that is not going to happen.
  • Have a cookie baking day. I make 3 ingredient microwave fudge and one type of cookie. It takes 20 minutes. That’s all I’m willing to spend. Besides, I work from home and I shouldn’t be left alone with peanut butter fudge and the husband works with 5 other people and last year, all the stuff I sent to his work got thrown away so fuck them.
  • Encourage my child to wake up at 5AM to open presents. Mama needs her sleep. Don’t mess with that.

I’m sure there more things that I don’t do and I’m sure I’ll think of it later. That’s pretty much the story of this time of year.

How about you guys? Is there anything you don’t or won’t do around the holidays?

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: confessions, holidays, random

Friday six-pack: The week after Thanksgiving

December 2, 2016 by Jana 8 Comments

Trying a new format. I might keep playing with it until I figure out one I like. Please bear with me. 

Friday Six Pack

Now that Thanksgiving is in the rear window and we’re focusing on the holidays, let’s not also forgot about the mundane parts of life. Like this stuff:

Reading. Almost finished with Tig Notaro’s book, I’m Just a Person. Then I’ll work on Chuck Klosterman’s new one along with All is Not Forgotten. Picked up Kissing in America and Darktown. Completed my Goodreads goal of 75 books but reading is the one area of my life I’m overly ambitious so we’ll keep going until the year ends.

Watching. The Affair. I put off watching it until recently because I don’t like infidelity as entertainment but this show is so much more that I can let that part of the premise go. I kind of hate them all but I love the way it all works and I really want to know what the fuck happened.

Listening. Besides my current obsession with the Volbeat song “Battleship Chains”, I also started a new podcast, Crimetown. It’s a true crime show (clearly) but rather than focused on one specific crime or murder, it focuses on organized crime in Providence, RI. It’s like the show Brotherhood but real life. 

Eating. I had a craving for stuffed peppers this week so I made taco stuffed peppers. It was ridiculously easy and I really like recipes that cook in the oven because not only does it give me time to clean the kitchen while the food cooks, I feel like I get a few extra minutes to read or, in the case of baked potatoes, nap. If you’re interested, here’s what I did:

  • Cooked ground turkey, then added taco seasoning, rice (roughly one cup of leftover rice but you can skip this part if you want), a can of diced tomatoes with chilies, 2 tbsp chili powder, and an 8 oz can of tomato sauce. I let that all simmer and blend together while I cut the tops off the peppers (and cleaned out the seeds and shit). Note: you can also make this vegetarian but using TVP or beans.
  • Spooned taco mixture into the peppers, about halfway full. Then I added 2 cubes of cheese, put more mixture over that, and added one more cube of cheese on the very top. Repeat for as many peppers as you’re cooking. I used 4.
  • Bake at 350 for approximately 20 minutes in a Pyrex pan filled with about 1/4 water.

Giving. I had wanted to rant about Trump but I cannot right now. I’m at an absolute loss for words with what is happening. Please don’t mistake my silence for compliance or acceptance. Far from it. I’m enraged. And when I get my thoughts together, I’ll unleash the fury but for now, I’d rather focus on something positive.  Like the fact that Giving Tuesday raised a record amount of money this year. It warmed my heart that despite the direction this country is probably headed, there are still more people who want to do good. As for me, I gave to Forgotten Cats, which is a local cat rescue and TNR program that helped us with our cat; the Philadelphia chapter of the Hebrew Free Loan Association (we don’t have one in Delaware and thanks to my friend Brynne, I now know this organization exists and I am in love with their mission); and Toys for Tots.

Laughing. This gave me all the giggles.

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Thanks for sticking around this week! My weekend involves a quick trip to Long Island to celebrate my awesome grandma’s 90th birthday and then spending Sunday recovering. Hope you all have a great weekend and I’ll see you back here on Tuesday!

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: Entertainment, favorites, weekly wrap-up

Three more things

November 30, 2016 by Jana 14 Comments

I figured that in light of Monday’s rant, I’d lighten the mood up a bit around here by once again stealing borrowing from Steph’s 3 things prompt.

Here we go.

3-things

Three things I frequently forget
Where I put my phone
Where I park my car
Email

Three errands I love to run
Library day
Concord Pet (local pet store)
CVS or any sort of drugstore

Three errands I hate to run
Grocery shopping (because god forbid I actually get everything at once)
The hell that is Walmart
Goodwill drop off (this can also be found in “things I frequently forget.” Please note that my gym is ACROSS THE STREET from our Goodwill and yet I still don’t do it.)

Three restaurants I want to try
I legit have no answer for this. Oh, wait! The Drunk’n Baker. It’s a bakery which I’m assuming counts. Other than that, I haven’t really given much thought to restaurants.

Three famous people I’d like to meet
Billy Joel
Kate McKinnon
Jennifer Weiner

Three famous people I’d like to avoid
Juliette Lewis
Penn Jilette
Ann Coulter

Three things I recommend
Piña Coladas
Getting caught in the rain
A Spotify subscription.

Three books I loved in the elementary/junior high days
The Babysitters Club. All of them. I’m not picking just one.
Sweet Valley High. See justification above.
Remember Me–Christopher Pike

Three things I always look forward to
Vacations
Starting a new book
Naps

Three things I always dread
Running into people I don’t like
Laundry
Early report times at cheer competitions

How about you guys? What are some of your responses? 

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: confessions, favorites

Everything an experienced mom wants to say to the new mom pressuring people to have kids

November 28, 2016 by Jana 18 Comments

I’m not ordinarily a fan of open letters but my panties were in such a huge bunch after reading this letter that I had to respond with one of my own.

Dear Jessica,

I’m going to assume it’s okay to call you that even though we don’t know each other because you made so many assumptions about people you don’t know that we’ll start this by leveling the playing field.

With that out of the way, I want to say, from one mom to another, congrats on your baby. Motherhood is a wild ride and I wish you only the best.

Now let me say this–how fucking dare you pass judgement on anyone who doesn’t want to have kids. That is their business, not yours. How fucking dare you attempt, with your holier than thou attitude, invalidate all their reasons not to have kids. All of the reasons you sarcastically and condescendingly dismissed are legit, completely valid reasons to not have children. And you know what else is a completely valid reason? NOT FUCKING WANTING THEM. That’s it. That’s all that it is. If someone doesn’t want to have kids, that’s fine and it’s not for you to comment on. I’ve been a mom for 10 years now and if there’s one thing I learned it’s that someone else’s uterus is none of my fucking business.

Also, I’m concerned why you care. Are you looking for mom friends? We can be friends. I’ll talk to you about all things motherhood. Are you looking for kudos that you’re a mom? Well, that you’re not going to get from me. Are you looking for content pieces that stir up controversy? To that I say, well done! Mission accomplished!

But seriously, it really shouldn’t matter to you if someone has a child or not. It is a huge responsibility and if someone doesn’t want to make that choice, it’s really not your place to push it on them. If anything, it’ll just make people hate you. I’m pretty sure that’s the last thing you want or need right now. Being a mom is hard enough without you isolating your friends or getting hate mail from strangers on the internet. And let me be clear–I do not hate you. I don’t hate someone I don’t know (usually. There are some exceptions). I do, however, take issue with most of what you wrote and I feel compelled to address it not only on my behalf but on behalf of my friends who are childfree by choice and those who are without children for other circumstances (and, if there’s any doubt I stand in solidarity with my childfree friends, you should check out these promises I made to them a few years back).

You mention that people with children are less selfish and more aware of other children and more concerned with the future. I don’t even know where to start with that. Do you know many parents? Because I do. And I can tell you that I know parents who are 100 times more selfish and less concerned for the future than a good number of my childfree (childless is a rude word, by the way) friends. I have friends who volunteer and raise money and advocate and participate in activities that work to secure a better country, world, and yes, future, for OUR kids. They don’t have to do that. But they do. And I know parents who do absolutely nothing except rely on the actions of people like my friends to protect their kids.

Interesting, right?

Also, not having a biological child doesn’t mean you have no kids in your life. Those same friends I mentioned above? Almost all of them are aunts and uncles, and some are stepparents, to kids related by blood and by choice. They show up to birthday parties and recitals and babysit and do all the things parents do. Sometimes they even do them when the parents can’t (or won’t. But we won’t discuss that). They are role models and positive influences and affect the daily lives of these kids. They appreciate baby giggles and toddler cuddles and getting school pictures and all that jazz. And, believe it or not, they are aware of the plight of all children  and want to see them live in a peaceful world as well.

Being a parent does not give you a monopoly or exclusive rights to awareness, empathy, and sympathy. 

You mention leaving a legacy as part of that sympathy so let’s address it next. I agree with you that having a kid gives you an irreplaceable legacy. But why do you assume that nonparents can’t leave one? Look at Dolly Parton. She didn’t have kids and I can assure you that what she’s done for her industry and for her hometown and yes, kids, will live on way after she’s gone. We are all connected to the future and we all want to leave behind something better than what we were given. Not just parents.

Okay. Moving on to happiness. This topic is so broad that I could probably devote an entire website to it but rather than do that, I want to tell you this–being a parent doesn’t make you more or less happy than your friends who aren’t. It makes you differently happy. I don’t care what. “research” says. You cannot compare the two. There is a different joy that comes with seeing your kid walk for the first time than going to that amazing new restaurant. There is a different pleasure you derive from seeing your kid perform than seeing your favorite band. There is a different happiness you get from having your kid see Cinderella’s castle in person than hopping that last minute flight to London. I could go on but you seem smart so I won’t. But let me be clear–different does not mean less. It simply means different. And that is absolutely fine.

One final thing. I agree with you that parenting changes your perspective on the world. Being a parent means that you have to think about and focus on events and situations and make choices not only based on how they affect you but how they affect that tiny person you’re responsible for. It’s a lot of fucking pressure. It certainly isn’t fun most days, particularly those grueling newborn days. But it’s rewarding and wonderful and challenging and crazy and interesting and a choice I’m so glad I made. I believe you feel the same way. HOWEVER. It’s not for you to peer pressure someone else into doing it because parenthood is the best choice you made. It’s wrong. And offensive.

Before I sign off, I want to give you this pro parenting tip: Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you lose yourself. Being “mom” doesn’t mean you cease being “Jessica”. It’s important now, more than ever, to make sure you stay connected to your friends, family, and hobbies. Especially since your husband is overseas and you live far away from family, it’s crucial to do what you can to stay active and engaged with others. Bring your daughter along! Trust when I say that most people don’t mind if your daughter comes to lunch or to a Netflix binge. Yes, you might have to pause for a diaper change or a feeding but if it’s a true friend, they won’t care. And those are the people you’re going to need the most. But if your attitude towards them is the same one you portray in that letter, they’ll leave you. I guarantee it.

So, that’s it. I hope, if anything, you’ve learned that passing judgement on someone else’s reproductive choices is bullshit. Doing so deepens the divide and really, it accomplishes nothing. You need to be happy with your choice and let others be happy with theirs.

Love,

Jana

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: parenting, rants

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Jana

I'm Jana ...

A book reading, nail polish wearing, binge watching, music loving, dog owning, reluctant cheer mom.
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