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Waking at 5AM and other advice I ignore 

by Jana 28 Comments

There’s a lot floating around the interwebz on how you can be more productive and use your time better. I find all that stuff fascinating and it’s why I read books about it, along with those articles and blog posts (and OMG, Pinterest. Holy shit is there a lot on Pinterest). I figure I can always do better, be better…self-improvement is never a bad thing. But what I’ve learned more than anything is that knowing yourself is better than following all the advice in the world. 

Knowing how you function, when you function best, what motivates you, what keeps you going…that’s the stuff that, at the end of the day, gets your shit done. However, without experimenting, there’s no way to know what works for you and what doesn’t. 

How do I know? Because I’ve tried. And what I’ve learned is that many of the go-to tips don’t work for me. For instance:

  1. Getting up at 5AM. Or some other ungodly hour. I tried to do that. To get up insanely early and be productive in those hours. It lasted about 4 days before I said fuck this and stayed in bed till a reasonable hour. I wound up not getting anything done because I was exhausted and my thoughts kept drifting back to my bed. So now I get up around 6:45 and work in the evenings instead.
  2. Weekly meal prep. I know many of you swear by it but it doesn’t work for me. By Wednesday I hate everything I’ve made or no one is in the mood for what’s prepared and have you ever tried to force feed a picky 10 year old with an attitude as big as she is? Peanut butter sandwiches only go so far and I can only fight so many battles. So I meal plan for the week and cook daily.
  3. Freezer meals. Not sure why so much revolves around food but here we are. I guess this falls under my dislike of weekly meal prep but I have done a few freezer meal sessions and OMG it is not worth the effort. Having a few is great in a pinch but I am not a freezer stocker. Not a big stockpiler, either, for what that’s worth. It’s a shit ton of effort and I always mess up something and the dishes. SO MANY DISHES. So, rather than freezer meals, I make sure there are leftovers or, if it’s a complicated recipe like stuffed shells that I’m making anyway, I double and freeze some of that.
  4. Gratitude journaling. At the risk of sounding like a bitchy asshat, I just can’t get into doing this. I’ve tried with pen and paper and with an app. I simply struggle with writing it down. I frequently reflect on what I’m grateful for but I am not, nor will I ever be, in the daily habit of writing it down. I get the benefits, especially the mental health benefits, but meh. Not for me.
  5. Eliminating TV. I actually wrote a post once listing a ton of things you can do while watching TV. Because I don’t think we need to demonize TV the way it is in many circles. It’s about striking a balance between how much and when and what else you’re doing but a show a night or a binge watch weekend? Nothing wrong with it at all. And honestly, I’m quite productive most days. That’s right. I watch TV AND I get shit done. Oh, and I read like 80 books a year, too, so you can do both.
  6. Eat the frog first. I wrote a whole post about this, too, but I don’t eat the frog first. I eat it last because for me, it’s more motivating to get the small, easy, simple, annoying tasks out of the way so I can clear my plate for the big one. Is it satisfying to get the major task done before everything else? Yes. Does it leave me with almost no energy for everything  else? Also yes.

I’m sure there’s more but I’m writing this on my phone because I’m too lazy open my laptop and also, you guys get the point. Not all the tips work for all the people so if you’re looking to improve, read all the things and then pick and choose what works for you. Experiment. Manipulate. Track how you feel when doing thing. Check progress and determine if what you’re doing really is worth it. Then make a plan or list and follow that. 

And know that if you don’t feel like getting up at 5AM, your day isn’t a waste, you’re not lazy, and sleep is a wonderful thing. 

What are some popular or conventional tips you forgo?

P.S. Next week I’ll talk about some advice I do follow. #balance

Weekly six-pack, 2017, v7

by Jana 16 Comments

I do not understand why this bronchitis will not go away. Yes, it’s better than last week but the lingering effects are making me insane. I’m tired of coughing, I’m tired of medicine, I’m tired of being tired. I just want to feel better.

Also, I’m avoiding politics this week. I need a week off. I’m still outraged and horrified and disgusted that we’re now at a point that party lines mean more than public good, welfare, and safety but I need to leave it alone this week.

Reading. Finished All the Ugly and Wonderful Things. Started Head Full of Ghosts. Still plugging away at Imagine Me Gone. Picked up Nearly Found which was on the list pre-library diet. Got one book from NetGalley (my sole diet infraction!). Thanks again to everyone who participated in Show Us Your Books and set your calendars for the next one on March 14.

Watching. Documentaries. Many. But the one that I’d recommend is Beware the Slenderman (HBO). Mother of hell, this one is disturbing. As if I wasn’t already paranoid about my daughter, knowing these girls were only 2 years older than she is now when they committed the crime freaks me the fuck out.

Eating. Girl Scout cookies. The child’s BFF is a girl scout so OF COURSE we had to buy 5 boxes from her. Strangely, all the boxes are still in the house. If you have the opportunity to buy the s’mores ones, I highly recommend them. And, parenting win of the week: when we putting the cookies away, the child picked up the Thin Mints and walked them right over to the freezer without being told. GUYS. SHE KNOWS.

DIY-ing. Now, it is a well-known fact that I am not crafty. I actively avoid crafts. But I’ve been wanting to free up some space in my bathroom linen closet as well as come up with a better, easier way to access my nail polish so I dug out this old spice rack from our garage, cleaned it up, considered painting it, nixed that idea, and hung it up in the bathroom. Once the great nail polish purge of 2017 is over, I’ll post pictures on IG.

Meditating. It’s also a well-known fact that I have depression and anxiety. I refuse to take meds (please note, if you need meds, there is NO SHAME in taking them. I did for a long, long time) anymore and do whatever I can to maintain it naturally. I’ve heard all the benefits of meditating, especially for anxiety, so I download the Headspace app to my phone. I quite enjoy it, am considering paying for a year subscription, and would recommend it. However. Every time I use it, I fall asleep. And not just for 10 minutes. For like an hour. I can’t imagine that’s supposed to happen. For those of you who meditate, any suggestions?

Listening. This is my favorite song of the week. I’ve been trying to use my phone less which means I’ve been listening to the radio rather than streaming from Spotify when I’m in the car. It’s working out well. I like new music.

No big plans this weekend which is really nice. I need a weekend off from all the stuff. Hope your weekend is as relaxing! See you on Tuesday!

 

 

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Judging Covers with The Family: What edition is this?

by Jana 8 Comments

This was supposed to happen last week and I think also the week before but bronchitis and forgetful and my family’s schedule often sucks. So, better late than never.

Imagine Me Gone by Adam Haslett

The Child says: It’s about someone who doesn’t like their life so far and what’s happening to them and they come across this place and they start to imagine themselves gone and away from everything.

The Husband says: Seems pretty self explanatory. About someone who says imagine me gone and the other person says no, I don’t want to do that. They’re like the other half.

Goodreads says: When Margaret’s fiancé, John, is hospitalized for depression in 1960s London, she faces a choice: carry on with their plans despite what she now knows of his condition, or back away from the suffering it may bring her. She decides to marry him. Imagine Me Gone is the unforgettable story of what unfolds from this act of love and faith. At the heart of it is their eldest son, Michael, a brilliant, anxious music fanatic who makes sense of the world through parody. Over the span of decades, his younger siblings–the savvy and responsible Celia and the ambitious and tightly controlled Alec–struggle along with their mother to care for Michael’s increasingly troubled and precarious existence.

All the Ugly and Wonderful Things by Bryn Greenwood

The Child says: I think it’s about a family from a prairie and they’re traveling to Oklahoma to start a new life but it’s not how they expected it and the book is about what happened to them.

The Husband says: By the looks of it, it’s about being out on the prairie because they’re growing wheat and it’s all the good things and bad things of farm livin’.

Goodreads says: As the daughter of a meth dealer, Wavy knows not to trust people, not even her own parents. Struggling to raise her little brother, eight-year-old Wavy is the only responsible “adult” around. She finds peace in the starry Midwestern night sky above the fields behind her house. One night everything changes when she witnesses one of her father’s thugs, Kellen, a tattooed ex-con with a heart of gold, wreck his motorcycle. What follows is a powerful and shocking love story between two unlikely people that asks tough questions, reminding us of all the ugly and wonderful things that life has to offer.

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

The Child says: It’s about a woman or teenager who is does have a lot of problems with herself and she doesn’t get very much help from her family and she has 13 reasons why she has these problems and what’s going on in her life that she can’t get rid of them.

The Husband says: It’s about a woman who has a lot of problems and she doesn’t get rid of her problems because she has 13 reasons why she can’t. (Slams book down, confident that he got it right)

Goodreads says: Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a strange package with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker–his classmate and crush–who committed suicide two weeks earlier. Hannah’s voice tells him that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he’ll find out why. Clay spends the night crisscrossing his town with Hannah as his guide. He becomes a firsthand witness to Hannah’s pain, and as he follows Hannah’s recorded words throughout his town, what he discovers changes his life forever.

Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay

The Child says: It’s about a place like out West and there are some crazy people who live there but the reason why they’re crazy is because the place is haunted and throughout the time they’re in the house, they start to develop ghosts in their mind and it’s about their adventure in a haunted house.

The Husband says: Let me tell you about this book. It’s about a crazy person who’s schizophrenic who has all of these ghosts or people who aren’t real in their head and how they view things.

Goodreads says: To her parents’ despair, the doctors are unable to stop Marjorie’s descent into madness. As their stable home devolves into a house of horrors, they reluctantly turn to a local Catholic priest for help. Father Wanderly suggests an exorcism; he believes the vulnerable teenager is the victim of demonic possession. He also contacts a production company that is eager to document the Barretts’ plight. With John, Marjorie’s father, out of work for more than a year and the medical bills looming, the family agrees to be filmed, and soon find themselves the unwitting stars of The Possession, a hit reality television show. When events in the Barrett household explode in tragedy, the show and the shocking incidents it captures become the stuff of urban legend.

Fifteen years later, a bestselling writer interviews Marjorie’s younger sister, Merry. As she recalls those long ago events that took place when she was just eight years old, long-buried secrets and painful memories that clash with what was broadcast on television begin to surface–and a mind-bending tale of psychological horror is unleashed, raising vexing questions about memory and reality, science and religion, and the very nature of evil.

Jana says: I really have no idea how I stacked all these mental illness books into one month of reading. Should get interesting.

How do you guys think they did?

 

 

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Show Us Your Books, February 2017: The one with no clever title

by Jana 36 Comments

So, it’s been like 27 weeks since the last SUYB. Well, maybe only 5 but it feels way longer. I’m pretty sure we all know why. WINTER. Winter slows down time. It’s also slowed down my reading mojo to an almost stopped pace. I normally read around 9 books when we go this long but this time, it’s only 7. Six that I finished and 1 was a DNF.  We’ll get that one out of the way first (Hint: most of you aren’t going to be happy with me).

And remember, as always, visit Steph and some of the other bloggers joining us. Nonbloggers, let me know in the comments what you’re reading.

Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly. If you’ve been around here for awhile, you know I generally don’t like historical fiction. However, when it’s a book that everyone raves about, I’ll break tradition and read it. Sometimes it pays off (see: The Book Thief, The Storyteller). Other times it does not. This is one of those latter times. Now. This is not a bad book in and of itself. The writing is strong and it’s an engaging plot. However, for me, it hurt too much to read. For as much as I can handle violence and murder, Holocaust fiction, particularly when it graphically describes what happens inside concentration camps, is something I cannot do. It’s too personal, it goes above and beyond thriller-type murder and violence, and I could not push through it. Because it’s not fiction. Those atrocities actually happened and I could not, for one second longer, read it for the sake of entertainment. I have a feeling it’ll be a long time, if ever, I pick up another book like this. I know myself well enough to know I can’t do it and that I shouldn’t even try.

Moving onto the books I did finish. Reviews, as always, are copied directly from my Litsy reviews.

Kissing in America by Margo Robb. This was a surprisingly touching story about family and grief and love and friendship and finding yourself. Eva didn’t feel like a teenage caricature; she was given real thoughts and feelings and written with respect. It’s a fairly strong story but had Eva not been as likable and relatable, the plot would have felt weaker. She made the book what it was. And the poetry woven in was relevant and meaningful without feeling forced or gimmicky.

Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman by Lindy West. I read this book immediately following the weekend of the Women’s March and it was exactly what I needed at the time. Her unapologetic feminism, intelligence, confidence, humor, courage, honesty…all of it. I’m grateful for her opinions and her willingness to speak them on behalf of herself and all women. I didn’t even mind all the stuff about her personal life. I liked getting to know her along with her opinions.

Idaho by Emily Ruskovich. SLOW. This book is SLOW. It’s also a beautifully written, poetic, sad piece of art that, at times, bored me to tears. It was almost too artsy and I wanted a concrete story for the whole book. She did weave an intricate, well developed plot filled with sometimes interesting (and often unnecessary) characters but it occasionally droned on (and on and on) for what seemed like beauty rather than story. Which is fine if you’re into that. I am not. And the time jumping made me insane. It was all over the place. ALL OVER.

The Quickening by Michelle Hoover. Meh. Didn’t love or hate this book. It just was. It started off strong, almost reminding me of Little House fanfic if Laura and Nellie wound up as adult neighbors but then it tapered off into boring and overdramatic. Also really sad. Too sad. Had the book been any longer I  might have quit but the brevity kept me going. It also helped that it really picked up again in the last 30 pages. A well written, mediocre read.

Blood Men by Paul Cleave. Ah, a refreshing return to my comfort zone. A graphic, fucked up little thriller set in New Zealand. Definitely kept me guessing up until the end, which was nice (usually I figure stuff out. I’m superfun to play Clue with). I love his writing so I figured I’d like this one and it’s nice to be right. If you like thrillers and have a strong stomach for violence, I recommend reading this book.. Oh! And it’ll piss you off, too.

Get Your Shit Together by Sarah Knight. I loved her first book, The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck, so I clearly had to read this one, too. As someone who struggles more with getting her shit together than not giving a fuck, I quite enjoyed this practical little handbook. I won’t take everything in it as gospel but she has some good insight about goal setting and the keys to getting and keeping your shit together. Plus she’s funny and smart and self-deprecating and doesn’t come across as a know-it-all. This is basically a perfect adulting primer or a book filled with reminders in case you forgot how to adult. Do not read this book if you do not like profanity.

TL;DR: Read Blood Men and Shrill. I’ll leave the rest to your discretion. 

Also, today is Valentine’s Day. A day I do not celebrate (you can ask me why if you’re curious but it’s not really worth discussing) but because I love books more than most things, I will say that I don’t think SUYB could have fallen on a more perfect day. I love how many of you guys I’ve gotten to know because of our mutual love of books and if that’s not a testament to the power of them, I don’t know what is. Thank you so much for joining me and Steph every month and for always sharing your books and love of reading with us.

Okay. Now it’s your turn! Link up and show us your books!

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Friday six pack, 2017 v6

by Jana 11 Comments

This week’s recap comes to you from my feverish body and brain so please excuse any errors.

Reading. Started Imagine Me Gone. DNF Lilac Girls (will explain on Tuesday for Show Us Your Books). Picked up Nearly Found and another NetGalley book. Former was on hold before the library diet started, latter was an impulse because I can’t help myself sometimes.

Watching. Santa Clarita Diet. I generally avoid all things with Drew Barrymore because she makes me crazy but Timothy Olyphant–RAYLAN FUCKING GIVENS–is in this as well and I love him so I gave it a shot. You know, I don’t hate Drew in this. She’s pretty funny as is the whole show, even if I did gag at times. Literally. Almost threw up on my couch.

Using. Wet and Wild’s 1 step gel nail polish. With no UV light necessary. And it’s cruelty free! I combined it with a gel top coat and my normal base coat and 3 days in, no chips. I say that’s a success! And it was like $4 for a bottle which is nice, too.

Raging. I didn’t want to touch on this because my brain can’t handle this anymore but OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY CAN’T THIS SHIT EVER STOP?! Betsy DeVos, Jeff Sessions, the pipeline, 45 tweeting about his daughter’s fucking clothes in the middle of a damn intelligence briefing and oh, yeah. Attempting to shut up Elizabeth Warren. You know how Steph feels about RBG? That’s how I feel about Elizabeth Warren.  I love. LOVE that she stood outside and read the letter anyway and how about that new rallying cry we all have? As an anxious introvert, it’s been hard for me to figure out my level of activism and I thank God for women like her, who are comfortable using their voices no matter what and continue to do so despite every roadblock being thrown at them. But the one bright spot? Neil Gorsuch, 45’s pick for the Supreme Court, criticizing him and calling his tweets about the judiciary disheartening and demoralizing. Of course, 45 is trying to spin it but it’s out there. It’ll be interesting to see what happens next.

Eating. A steady diet of prescription meds, cough drops, Robitussin, and NyQuil because bronchitis sucks.

Listening. Amnesia by Red Sun Rising. Favorite lyric:

And I’m not sick like you
I’m not burdened by the truth

The video is fun, too.

That’s it. This weekend is another cheer competition and buying a new bed for the child. Good times.

See you on Tuesday for Show Us Your Books!

 

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