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5 tips from an unexpected SAHM

March 18, 2013 by Jana 4 Comments

Almost a year ago, I left traditional full-time employment. It was a difficult, complicated decision; one that took hours of thought and discussion with my husband as well as hours of thought and discussion with myself about how I wanted to use my time. While that final decision is still up in the air, there are some days I find myself firmly entrenched in a camp I never believed I’d be: the stay at home mom.

Turns out, I’m actually pretty good at it. Had you told me that when my daughter was first born, I would have laughed right in your face. Loudly, too. But, as I’ve gotten used to it, I’ve realized I don’t totally suck as a stay at home mom (yes, I need some work in the housecleaning arena, but we’ll talk about that another day). It’s also surprisingly harder than I thought it was, even with my only child in school for about 7 hours a day. There’s a lot that needs to get done, and some days, I wonder how I managed to get everything done when I did have an outside the home job.

I guess I’m better at time management than I thought. Or perhaps that’s why I would have major anxiety and panic attacks. We can debate that another day.

Anyway, as I reflect on my first year as a stay at home/work at home mom (I don’t know how to label myself), here’s what I’ve learned to be essential at making it work:

Coupons. Now, I’m not talking grocery coupons. I don’t really use those. I’m talking coupons for activities, clothes, entertainment…things that we used to spend money on without batting an eye but now have to be more mindful of a budget. Redbox coupons have been an absolute blessing to our entertainment budget (provided I remember to return the movie within a day). For around $1 (Blu-Ray rentals are $1.53; with my $.50 off coupon, it’s $1), we can have a family movie night without all the hassle and annoyance of going to the theater. Groupons and Living Social Deals have also helped us out tremendously.
Find a friend. If you’re new to being a SAHM, it’s crucial that you find a friend who’s been doing it a while. These people know so many tricks to having fun on a budget (assuming you’re in the group of people who need a budget and don’t have celebrity money floating around). My BFF has been a SAHM for almost 6 years and I have learned so much from her—what places have free crafts, how to have fun at the mall without spending money (seriously, it’s true), where kids can eat for free, and several more tips. And since money is also a concern for her family, we have no problem just hanging at each other’s homes.
Use what you have. While this applies to repurposing, upcycling, recycling, and just plain using what you already own, it also applies to things like memberships. I believe that memberships make sense if you use them, and for my family, our membership to our local YMCA is the best money we spend all month. Not only do we use it for working out but the outdoor pool means we don’t have to have a private swim club membership during the summer (we don’t have free community pools where I live), there are free family activities at night and on the weekends, and my kid can participate in sports at the greatly reduced membership rate ($43 for 8 weeks of cheerleading is a pretty sweet deal).
Cultivate a hobby. Being a SAHM is definitely kid-focused. But that doesn’t mean you have to forget yourself entirely (because if you do lose your identity, you do your kids a complete disservice. Your kids cannot make up who you are. And they need to see you enjoying yourself as well). Use the time you’re home to pick a hobby you’ve always wanted to have or rediscover something you used to love. It could be anything from keeping a blog or journal to reading books to learning to bake or running a marathon or playing the drums. It doesn’t have to be an expensive, time consuming hobby but you do need to carve out time for you. For me, exercising and reading have been my primary hobbies. And now I’m learning to sew. My family might benefit from that hobby, but really, it’s for me. Which is totally fine.
Be social. This couples with finding a friend. You cannot spend your entire life locked inside your house, devoted to your chores, housework, and kids. You need to get out and have some adult time. Even if it’s taking an exercise class or attending a mommy and me class or joining a book club—something to do once a week or month—you need to get out and interact with real life people. It’s great to have those personal, human connections. It’s wonderful to have adult conversations. And more than anything, taking a break from your kids is good for everyone. Seriously. They’ll be just fine if you leave for a couple of hours and your spouse/significant other/babysitter/whoever watches them.

I know there are more experienced SAHM who will disagree with a lot of what’s helped me survive the last year. And that’s okay. We all have different ways of coping and dealing with our situations, and I’m not here to judge. This is just what’s worked for me.

I’m pretty sure that as I figure out what the hell I’m doing with my life, my strategy towards staying home will change. Also, as my kid gets older, I know it’ll change. But for now, I’m going to stick with these few rules and see how it goes

How to write a good cover letter

March 15, 2013 by Jana 5 Comments

This article was written by Gary, a personal finance blogger and freelance writer who focuses on investing, budgeting, credit and debt, education and career advice, real estate and mortgages, saving, and car and life insurance at Gajizmo.com.

In today’s highly competitive job market, it is vital that you stand out. While a good resume is necessary, a prospective employer may not even look at the resume if the accompanying cover letter is not perfect. A succinct, well written cover letter can grab an employer’s attention and give you the best chance at getting an interview for the job you want.

I’ll be honest – anytime I used to receive an email, resume, cover letter, presentation, or any type of document, and the grammar and spelling wasn’t at least near perfect, I would just assume the person probably wasn’t well-educated. It is unfortunate, but when I worked in private equity and would interview candidates for positions on my team, subpar cover letters got thrown to the bottom of the deck, regardless of qualifications. Simply put, if you can’t write, don’t take the time to make sure your application is perfect, or won’t find someone to proofread your work, how can I trust you to produce quality work without errors. After all, I have to be able to trust my own colleagues, their abilities, and judgment.

Write A New Cover Letter For Each Job
Some people use a form letter that only requires they change the company name and address, but this type of letter will not get your resume noticed, especially if you are applying within a range of industries. While it is okay to use a formula when writing cover letters, each letter should have information that is specific to the particular job, internship or employer. Try to find out the name of the person who will be receiving your resume and send the letter to that person’s attention and use their name in the salutation. Avoid using “To Whom it May Concern” as a salutation if possible, and if you are not sure of the gender based on the name, look it up online to find if “Mr.” or “Ms.” is most appropriate.

If you are applying to an internship, the process of writing a new letter will give you the chance to tweak and send different combinations of cover letters and resumes to see which gets you the best response rate. This way, when you are ready to apply for actual jobs, you won’t miss out on opportunities.

Keep It Brief
A cover letter should be no more than three or four paragraphs written in a standard business letter format. In the first paragraph, you should talk about the position you are applying for and where you heard about the position. The next one or two paragraphs should discuss your education, experience and accomplishments and how they will benefit a new employer. In the last paragraph, tell the employer you look forward to discussing the job opportunity with them and the best way to get in contact with you. Close the letter by thanking the employer for their time and consideration. [Read more…]

Confessions of a smug weekend suitcase packer

March 14, 2013 by Jana 9 Comments

This is a guest post from my college friend Steph who blogs at Life According to Steph. She’s really smart and funny, so when you’re done reading her post, visit her blog or on Facebook or Pinterest. Also, tomorrow is her birthday and I know it would make her feel extra special if you stopped by. While you’re there, check out my guest post.

I used to be the girl who packed a lot of clothes for a weekend and didn’t use half of them. I’m Type A – I
love organization and efficiency. This over packing didn’t suit me, so I honed my packing skills and pared down. Armed with my trusty packing Excel spreadsheet, I carefully plotted my outfits, books, and beauty items (Jana’s note: I am impressed with this idea of a spreadsheet. The only thing I have that comes close is a toiletry bag that’s permanently packed with everything I can possibly need, except for makeup. I pack that separately and the day of the trip). I got packing down to a science in which there was no waste.

My bags were small and my pride was large when sharing rooms or houses with friends who brought so
much that they never used. There was no need to separate clean clothes from dirty in bags while I was
packing to leave. I wore everything I brought, and when I returned home, everything went right to the
laundry room. My system was awesome.

Then we went away for what was supposed to be a quick weekend trip to Atlantic City, an hour and a
half from home. My husband had an accident and had to get surgery. This required two overnight stays
in the hospital for him, and one for me. My streamlined packing found us ill-equipped for an extended
stay.

While this was hopefully a once in a lifetime occurrence, it got me thinking (read: stewing). I hate being
unprepared. I sat in the post-op waiting room, looked down at my clothes, and knew I’d be wearing the
same thing again the next day. Being stuck in a hospital while a loved one is going through surgery is bad
enough, feeling gross was not a good add on. My pared down packing was kicking me in my own ass.

We were surrounded by pricey outlets, and the more budget-friendly Old Navy was a far walk through
streets rife with pushy homeless people. I didn’t feel like dealing with that. I’d already spent $30 in cabs
back and forth to the hotel to get our stuff out of the room, and since my car was still over there, I knew
I had another $10 cab ride to go. I decided to tough it out instead of spending more money on new
clothes. Not to mention the fact that I didn’t want to leave my husband alone in the hospital, high as a
kite on dilaudid, trying to get out of bed when he wasn’t supposed to and gleefully trying to text on his
iPhone while I was browsing the yoga pants at Old Navy.

When we go away in the future, I’ll do these things differently:

1. Bring an extra set of pajamas and an extra day’s worth of clothes.
2. Know if my health insurance covers transport (I know this now, but didn’t know it then, and
couldn’t get in touch with anyone on a Sunday).
3. Pack my computer. My iPhone is good, but not enough if I’m stuck somewhere and need to
work remotely.
4. Always make sure I have extra cash – I usually don’t, I just happened to this time. It was great to
not worry about finding a MAC machine.
5. Carry an iPhone charger in my purse. At the end of a long day out, both of our phones were
dead. Thankfully we were with a friend who gave me hers to take to the Emergency Room that
night.

Jana’s note: I am not quite the expert suitcase packer that Steph is but I do have major paranoia issues regarding my person winding up in one location and my luggage in another so, in my carry-on, I will always have extra underwear and socks and some toiletries. And, not that I would know this from any experience or anything, but it really does suck to forget (or not have on hand) a charger, a toothbrush, underwear (yes, this is the second time I’ve mentioned my underwear. It’s very important to me), and enough cash. I also *might* be the overpacker that made Steph feel smug.

Readers, what are some of your overnight packing tips?

An open letter to high school students about money

March 13, 2013 by Jana 7 Comments

Dear High School student,

Congratulations on making it this far! High school is quite a challenging time in your life. Between relationships, studying, friendships, parents, afterschool activities, weekend plans and always wanting to sleep, you’re in for a rough road ahead. But I assure you, as bad as it may seem at times, you will make it through. It won’t always be pleasant but it will pass. I promise.

But we’re not really here to talk about all that stuff today. No, today we’re going to talk about how to prepare yourself for the financial realities of…life after high school. Whether that’s college, employment, or something else, you’re going to not only need money but you’re going to need to learn how to manage it. What better time to learn those skills than when you’re living rent and expense free in your parents’ house? (And trust me, this is all practical stuff. No algebra, random historical facts or memorizing elements. Those typically only come in handy for game shows and illegal activities).

So let’s get started. Here’s a few ways to prepare for your impending adulthood:

Learn to budget. If you have a part-time job or receive an allowance, you have money. That means you need to learn how to spend it properly. To do that, create a budget. It’s probably going to be a small, uncomplicated budget because your parent or guardian is most likely covering all of your necessities like shelter payments, food, and clothing. So, think about how you like to spend your money and allot what you earn into those categories, even if your categories are apps, going to the movies, fast food after school. Practice only spending the money you’ve budgeted in each category each month. Believe me, the sooner you practice this, the easier it’ll be to live on a budget when you are an adult (and you’ll be able to avoid massive amounts of debt). And if your parents won’t teach you, use Google. I know you’re computer savvy. Put it to good use.
Create a savings account. Having a savings account is a huge part of learning how to manage your money. Putting money away for a rainy day or travel or a big purchase is a great way of avoiding debt (and believe me when I say you don’t want to go into debt. While getting into debt can be a crapload of fun, getting out of debt is horrendous. It’s probably one of the least fun activities ever). You can start small, by saving birthday money or parts of your allowance and then work up to putting away money from a job. Talk to your parent or guardian about opening a savings account; if they say no, use the piggy bank you got when you were 5. Just find a way to start saving.
Deal with a car. Most teenagers dream of owning a car, especially if you live in the suburbs or a rural area with little to no public transportation available. However, most teenagers are not fortunate enough to have their parents buy a car outright. And, even if your parents cover the car payment, they might want you to pay for gas, insurance, and routine maintenance. That gets expensive. You are definitely going to need an income stream to foot the bill for this stuff (and work those expenses into your budget) but, if you are going to want a car as an adult, this is a great time to learn about all the responsibilities that come with owning one. It might make you change your mind, or encourage you to downgrade your expectations. (If you don’t have a car or won’t be getting a car, this is a great time to become proficient in arranging alternative types of transportation).
Get a job. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a job in high school. It will teach you so many skills: independence, time management, organization, a work ethic, dealing with a boss and coworkers, and, finally, how to earn and manage a paycheck. The sooner you learn these skills, the sooner they become habit and the easier transition you have when you have a full-time job. Additionally, building a work history at a young age is a good thing that looks impressive to prospective employers and also, you can open a retirement fund and a savings account. That’s taking a huge step towards adulthood and demonstrating that you can be a responsible adult with your money.
Be careful with borrowing and lending. Money is a tricky thing, especially when it comes to friends and family. There might come a point where you’re earning a good amount of money and you’ve become such an expert saver that people are coming to you asking for money. Think really, really hard before you say yes. And if you do say yes, and you don’t get the money back, consider it a lesson in who you can and can’t trust. Also, don’t throw your money around just to make people like you. Because honestly, it’s not you they like. It’s those pretty little green pieces of paper you have in your wallet (and we can talk about credit cards another day). And remember that if you borrow money, pay it back. Don’t be the person your friends and family can’t trust.

Please don’t misunderstand. You can still have a good time with your money. That’s why you have a budget. To make sure that you are putting money away for a car or college (and yes, you can take out loans for those. We’ll talk about those when we talk about credit cards) but still being able to enjoy being a teenager. Because really, it’s all about balance. Learning to balance your necessities with your fun on the income you have is pretty much the key to managing your money. The earlier you learn this, the better off you’ll be.

I know this seems like just one more thing to worry about. But this is the real life stuff. You’re going to want to take the time to learn it.

Seriously.

Love,

Jana

5 reasons to stay at a job you hate

March 11, 2013 by Jana 9 Comments

So I have this part-time job. I’ve talked about it before, particularly the time I gave up an entire class to protect my mental health (and then took on another class anyway but, well, I’m not smart sometimes). I do not like this job; in fact, most days, I hate it. It is mentally exhausting, time consuming, and pretty low paying. But I’m hesitant to give it up. Here’s why:

The income helps my family. I’m not going to lie. Our finances are definitely not as comfortable as they were when I had a full-time job. We’re doing fine, and even putting some away, but certain months are harder than others. Those are the months when having the part-time income helps. We’re able to use that money to pay for necessities if we need them or put extra into our savings account or use it to pay off a large, once a year expense (like our sewer bill).
Helps with time management. Like most people, I have a lot to do. Probably more than I can handle but (believe it or not), I’m actually quite good with time management. Having the part-time job ensures that. Since that work has deadlines and very strict requirements, I have to carve out time to get that done among all the other tasks and projects I have going on. It’s not always fun, particularly when I’m grading papers on a Friday night, but it definitely forces me to use the time that I have constructively.
Keeps consistency in my job history. I hope I never have to go back to full-time employment. My current income earning plans are all over the place, but I’m working on focusing them so I can leave the part-time job. However, should my income not get to the place I’d like to, I can keep the part-time job on my resume to prevent a long gap in employment history (which I’d then have to explain. That makes me uncomfortable).
It’s a good learning experience. Seriously, I know that sounds like complete and utter bullshit but it’s true. What I go through in part-time job has been the fodder for so many blog posts that I’ve both published and not published and am considering publishing. After 5 years, I could probably fill a book with 8000 tips on what not to do in school. But all of those experiences have made me more confident in my skills in managing people, as well as my ability to stay organized, stand my ground, and encourage me to keep abreast of the current events in the field I teach.
Use it for training. While I don’t regularly participate in training sessions via my part-time job, I did use them at previous jobs to improve my marketability. I took refresher courses on grant writing, effective communication, business writing, and a few others that escape my memory right now. Although I may not like the job itself, I see nothing wrong with using some of the perks to make myself a better employee and improve myself for jobs (and leadership roles) down the road.

I don’t know a single person who has loved every job she’s had. In fact, I think having a job you hate—and sticking it out until something better comes along—makes you a stronger person. It tests your limits for what you can handle, and for what amount of money on a paycheck.

Please don’t get me wrong. If the job comes with harassment, bullying, abuse, or anything of that nature, quit. Immediately. But if there’s anything redeeming about the job, even if it’s just being able to pay your rent and buy food, keep that in the back of your mind when you get up to go to work each day. And whatever you do, don’t give up trying to find something else.

Look for a new job and interview on your days off (or on your lunch break. Or take a vacation day). Start your own business in your free time. Volunteer. Take on another part-time job, and maybe that will replace your current position. Explore all options before you resign to a position that sucks the life out of you daily.

As far as my situation, I’m hoping to get out of this vicious circle soon. Like very, very soon. But my conscience will not allow me to leave knowing that I have nothing to replace it. I can’t jump off the high wire without a safety net.

Readers, what are some of the reasons you’ve stayed with a job you despise?

5 tips from an unexpected SAHM

How to write a good cover letter

Confessions of a smug weekend suitcase packer

An open letter to high school students about money

5 reasons to stay at a job you hate

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