One of my most vivid childhood memories is watching my mom knit and crochet. She was forever in the middle of some yarn-based project and would weave and spin (or whatever it is you do) those needles in a way I found fascinating. Her fingers flew and in what seemed like 47 seconds, she would make a scarf or hat or blanket. It was pretty freaking impressive.
I honestly don’t know where most of them went because I don’t remember ever wearing or using any of what she crafted. I do have 2 blankets and my husband, daughter, and I all have a scarf now but as a kid? Nothing. Maybe I remember a sweater but I could be making that up. (Except the itching part. I know I’m not making that up. Whoever made that sweater used the itchiest material known to man.)
She never taught me how to do it because I never asked. I’m not exactly what you call crafty. In fact, I’m whatever the opposite of crafty is. Always have been. So I would watch in awe, be completely mesmerized/impressed and then I would move on, probably to a book. Then, about 5 years ago, I found out that my sisters and my cousins were learning to knit and crochet. I was pissed because I could not be left out. I needed to join the yarn party.
Except there was a problem. Remember how I said I’m not crafty? I neglected to mention that I am also completely lacking in the hand-eye coordination department. It’s quite sad, actually. And to knit, you need hand-eye coordination. So when I asked my mom to teach me, she looked at me skeptically, knowing my deficiency, but being the great mom she is, said yes.
Hooray for me! I was so excited for all the scarves I was going to make. And blankets (I am a blanket hoarder. We’ll talk about this another day). And I’d be so busy knitting and crocheting while I watched TV, I wouldn’t even think about snacking! I’d lose so much weight! How could I not win in this scenario?
The next time we visited, my mom brought me some yarn, a crochet hook, and some knitting needles. We won’t discuss the crocheting because that was a horrendous experiment that ended with my mother telling me that she didn’t understand how my left-handed sisters (both of my sisters are left-handed) could follow her right-handed directions and I couldn’t (I’m a righty). That conversation ended with me throwing down the crochet hook in disgust and swearing I would never try again. Maybe I almost cried, too.
After I calmed down, she said we would try knitting. I said okay. I picked up the needles. Then this happened:
Mom gives some directions about getting the yarn on the needles
Me: Look! I did it! (yarn promptly unravels) I guess not.
Mom instructs me to try again. Talks to me slower, like I’m a kindergartner.
Me: I did it again! (yarn comes off the needles again) Wait, no I didn’t.
This happens approximately 3 more times. My mom takes yarn and needles from me and does the first few stitches because even my preschool teacher mother has limits on her patience.
Me: Can you show me how you did that? I really want to learn.
Mom obliges, using second set of needles.
Me: I still don’t understand.
My mother is now visibly frustrated. Mutters something along the lines of “what is the matter with you?” and tells me to just practice doing stitches with what she started.
Me: Um…what do I do again? I don’t remember.
Mom gives side eye look to my father and my husband, both of whom are looking on with amusement and just a hint of fear given the proximity of needles to my face. She tries for what proves to be the final time to explain how to do a stitch.
I do what I think is right. I am very proud and it only took 5 minutes to do the one stitch. I say: I think I got it! I did a stitch! And I didn’t poke myself in the eye!
Mom inspects the fruits of my labor. I, in fact, did not do anything resembling a correct knitting stitch. My mother can’t take it anymore, I’m pissed at my lack of ability to do something I’ve seen 6 year olds do, and swear off knitting for the rest of my life. My mother (and husband and father) agree this is best for everyone.
Up until the beginning of this project, not knowing how to knit sat just fine with me. The danger, frustration, and mockery involved isn’t worth it. But pioneers knew how to do that stuff so I’m going to force myself to learn (because authenticity). My mom did buy me some sort of knitting loom thing and I’m actually getting the hang of that so all is not lost. I’m hoping by next winter I’ll be able to make scarves, hats, and maybe pot holders using the loom (I still agree that maybe needles aren’t for me. Too large and pointy).
I won’t push my luck on the hats and pot holders. Or even multiple scarves. One is success enough.
I tried knitting and promptly forgot everything I learned. Don’t feel bad. I purchased a knitting loom, so I could actually accomplish something that didn’t resemble something my cat made. 🙂
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I’m so grateful to my mother for buying me that loom. Now if I could just figure out my daughter’s rainbow loom, I’d feel like a confident person!
I finally gave up on the needle entirely. I moved on to arm knitting which to me is easier and doesn’t require handling giant sharp things.
Michelle recently posted…Choosing Chickens
Arm knitting sounds frightening. My luck, I’d figure out a way to get stuck in it. But I suppose stuck is better than gauging my eyes. Maybe I should consider it…
I love to knit but I learned at a really young age. I stopped for awhile and had to teach myself again. I used knittinghelp.com because she has videos of how to do a lot of stitches as well as casting on. It is nice since you can watch it a million times and the computer won’t get frustrated! 😉
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CASTING ON!!! That’s what it’s called. Thank you!
I’m going to check out that site. I have a feeling sites like that, and YouTube, are going to be very instrumental in this project.
I like to think of myself as crafty but I cannot knit or crochet to save myself! All the women in my family can but not me. I can’t even master that damned Rainbow Loom!!! My Granny tried to teach me to crochet many years ago but she wound up taking the needle and thread out of my hands and made me go outside to play. Found you through the SITS Spring Fling challenge.
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Ha! Your Granny is a lot like my mom. And don’t get me started on that damn Rainbow Loom. I curse the day it came into my house. I have been bested by a child’s toy. Awesome.
Stopping by from SITS Spring Fling! I feel your pain. I was able to crochet when I was young, but haven’t touched needles in years. I am now trying to teach myself to knit. Frustrating is putting it mildly. I’m nothing if not determined, though. Good luck with your project!
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Good luck to you, too! I’ve never been able to do any of this stuff so it’s a big undertaking. I’m somewhat confident I can do it and you can, too!
I’m still chuckling after reading this. I learned to both knit and crochet as a child – one stitch. One, single basic stitch. So I can knit a REALLY REALLY long scarf. Or a really big square. But corners? Patterns? Curves? Ribbing? Nope. And after a while there’s only so much you can do with a 12″ wide 82″ long piece of knitting. 🙂
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Corners? Curves? Ribbing? There’s more than just one long stitch? Crap. This is getting complicated.
I don’t know if I’d have the patience for knitting. Some of my friends knit and I always marvel at the stuff they can make.
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I definitely have the patience once I get the hang of it. Getting the hang of it is the frustrating part!
when 2014 hit, i made it my goal to learn how to crochet/knit an infinity scarf. let me tell you, those were the most frustrating 2 days of my life as i tried to get the hang of it. thank god for youtube but even with that going on and i was stopping it frame by frame, it was still frustrating as hell. HOWEVER, once you get the hang of it and understand how to read the patterns, it’s easy and eventually, it’ll become relaxing (a point i thought i’d never hit). i have since cranked out about 15 scarves; most were given away, some were sold and some i did for me and my husband. so keep trying; the first million tries will be hard but once you get the hang of it, you won’t stop!
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Thanks for the encouragement, Kathy! I feel that once I do get the hang of this, we’ll be swimming scarves. On the plus side, our necks will be very warm. So there’s that to look forward to.
I have major crafting issues, they always come out a little funky! Oh well, at least we try and have fun 🙂 Have a wonderful rest of your week, I’m excited about our #SITSChallenge. I love meeting new people and learning new things.
Debbie @ Heartbeats Soul Stains recently posted…The Adventures of Mouse and Mole DVD Review & Giveaway
All my crafts come out funky. But that’s what makes them special and unique!
I love knitting. Yeah, I’m one of those crafty weirdos like your mom. But seriously, if you ever have questions, I’ll do my best to help you out!
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Thanks, Sarah! I’ll probably be asking lots and lots of questions!
My mum loves to knit. She’s actually a beast at it.
Awesome post. I agree about the needles–too large and pointy! I have to leave this type of craftiness to people with more patience!! Good luck on the eventual scarf! #SITSBlogging
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The large and pointy are what make them scary. Then again, I find crochet hooks a little scary, too, so maybe there’s something wrong with me.
I have the patience. Just not the coordination!
I tried knitting once and did not understand it. Crochet came much more easily for me!
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I’m struggling with both. I need to spend an afternoon with YouTube, I think.