Last week I was at the dollar store buying some storage bins for my fabric (we'll talk about this when I summarize my spending freeze violations). While waiting on line, I couldn't help but stare at the back of a gentleman in front of me. This happened for two reasons: one, I am short, he was tall and that is where my eyes landed and two, his shirt read “strippers love my pole” (yeah, I laughed, too). I didn't notice what he purchased (which is odd for me because I am generally curious about what people buy at that store) but I did vividly remember his shirt. You don't forget something like that quickly.
After I left the dollar store, I ran a few more errands and then set about driving home. In order to get to my house from this particular shopping center, you need to turn at an intersection that is a prime target for beggars. It's probably this why due to the sheer volume of traffic that crosses through (it's the intersection for 2 major roads) and from what I have seen, these guys (always men. Never women at this location) make a good amount of money. I personally don't give money but I've seen numerous people do so. Which is fine. Not my place to judge what other people do with their money.
I think I am digressing here. Let's regroup and return to the story.
Alright, so I am at the intersection, waiting to turn and I see a man with a sign asking for money. Totally common occurrence. However, this time, the man was of particular interest because….it was the gentleman from the dollar store! And I knowing was him from that super classy t-shirt he was wearing. Apparently he was purchasing some poster board and markers to make his sign. Knowing that sent me down two roads of thought.
The first road was that of anger and annoyance. I mean, here's this guy, spending money he didn't earn on poster board and markers to beg for more money that he's not technically earning. So that annoyed me. Then the angry, rhetorical questions began: How can he have the endurance to stand on a corner and beg but he can't ask for an application at the store he just purchased his begging tools from (there was a “now hiring” sign on the door)? Why isn't he using any of the local services to help himself instead of begging on a corner? Is he in cahoots with the people who I saw begging a few miles up the road? And wouldn't that money have been better spent on some sort of food or drink?
For the record, I know those questions make me sound like a huge insensitive asshole. But I redeem myself now.
As I drove past the man, I let my anger settle down and starting thinking like the compassionate person I know I am. I told myself that maybe he can't read or has a felony or no way for a prospective employer to contact him and that's why he didn't fill out an application. I told myself that maybe he's desperate and embarrassed to be begging and he feels that he's left with no other option so I probably shouldn't shame him any more by thinking horrible thoughts about him. I told myself that maybe he doesn't know about the local services we have available. I told myself to let it go. And I did. I wished him well in his endeavors (in my head. I didn't go back to the intersection to say something) and I made a promise to stop being so judgmental in the future.
I am working on it.
As I was storing my fabric, I spent a few minutes thinking about what a dollar really can buy. And honestly, it's not much. Maybe a dollar menu item or a bag of chips or a bagel from the supermarket bakery. It can buy a local bus ticket, one way. It can buy something from Goodwill or a yard sale. Maybe. A dollar can buy a lottery ticket or wash a load of clothes or buy a piece of fruit or two. A dollar isn't life sustaining but it can help.
Because even with limited buying power, you can use your dollar purchase in a positive way. Buying a bus ticket to the mall or the library gives you a way to look for job. Using your quarters to wash your clothes gives you that confident feeling that comes with being clean. Eating something that is good for you gives you strength and energy to look for work or even make it through the day. And some people see buying a $1 lottery ticket as an investment and potential for large gains.
So maybe that's what this man saw the poster board and markers as. An investment in his survival for that day. And maybe the next time I see someone begging on that corner, I'll push that thought to the front of my mind instead of letting it hang out in the back. Because it's worth giving someone the benefit of the doubt than automatically assuming the worst.
I am always torn in situations like this. The reason being that I am good friends with many people in law enforcement that see beggars on a daily basis. Many of them have no intention to get a job because they make a lot of money panhandling. If you are good at it, you can make a good amount of money and not worry about the government taking any of it. yes, there are some out there begging because they need to, but many of them do it day in and day out because it makes money.
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I have really mixed feelings about begging. Because I’ve worked with hundreds of homeless and formerly homeless individuals over the past few years, I know all of the ins and outs of begging and drug use and gambling. That being said, not all homeless people use the money for devious means. Some legitimately use the money for food. But I always tell people if you really want to help homeless people give your money to a non-profit or religious organization that helps them. That way you know your money is actually going to food, clothing and shelter. Not booze, drugs and lottery tickets.
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I wholeheartedly agree with that suggestion. I am actually in the middle of collecting–on my own–toiletries to give to a local homeless organization. I don’t have a problem spending my money on those types of items for established programs but I won’t reach into my pocket and dole out money to someone standing on a street corner.
I sometimes wonder the same about beggars being on the road for hours, sometimes in harsh weather condition, and not willing to take a job. Some want their freedom really bad and others can’t hold a job I guess, or don’t have their SS number and an address to fill the form with. I am particularly surprised to see beggars in places like France where you can get free food, roof and shelter plus $500 pocket money from the government, why want more? Some people work full time and have less disposable income when all bills are paid.
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I’ve seen beggars use money for food, and I’ve seen them use it to buy a pint of gin. Seeing them use it for food reminds me not to judge them. But I still struggle with anger and disgust when I see them buying a pint or cigarettes.
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Same here.
You work in Philly so I’m sure you’ve seen the homeless people opening doors for customers at DD or Starbucks and then expecting a tip. I never tipped them–do you?
One evening, my wife and I were walking off a lovely crab cake dinner in the Baltimore Inner Harbor when a young lady stopped us with a tale of hard luck. She looked legitimate, and we, feeling fortunate to be where we were, doing what we were doing, happily handed over more than the usual.
The following morning I had to meet someone at one of the expensive hotels in the Inner Harbor area. Neither we nor our business could afford to stay there, so we stayed way out of town, and I drove in for the meeting. Imagine my surprise when the same young lady emerged from the elevator of this expensive hotel. Hand in hand with her boyfriend, they happily headed into the hotel’s restaurant for breakfast (itself not a thing of small coin).
Schmuck doesn’t begin to describe the feeling.
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There’s a lot of that going on in Baltimore. Once, a few years ago, we were going to an Orioles game. I don’t give money to beggars but there was a woman standing outside Camden Yards, looking completely downtrodden with her two kids in tow, begging for money to send her daughter to a dance competition. It just smacked of shadiness to me but apparently not to others because she was raking it in.
Also, I love the word “schmuck”. It’s one of my favorites 🙂
I have a hard time with this as well. Most people I’ve met who take advantage of panhandling/begging are usually really nice people. I don’t understand why they wouldn’t be able to get a somewhat decent job if they we willing to work hard. Then I have to remember that I know a lot of people my age who are doing everything possible to avoid getting jobs and that may be the case for them as well. Still, I try to remain friendly at least, but I don’t typically hand out money. I will give the occasional snack or drink though.
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That’s great that you do that. I’ve seen something called “blessing bags” on a bunch of websites and I’ve thought about carrying around a few of those in my car. I just can’t give money.
As for assuming why they’re in those circumstances, I stopped doing that a long time ago. Because you truly never know if it’s legit of a scam.
Before I even got to the end of your story I thought this guy was just investing in his means to making an income. He was investing in himself, his business of making money to survive. Brilliant if you ask me. Too many people pass judgement on people that they don’t know and you are right, we haven’t walked in their shoes and we don’t know anything about their lives. It’s the same with people with disabilities, people can easily look at someone and say, “you don’t look sick” when they may be dying inside or suffering with a chronic pain so deep that medication is hard pressed to help them. I always tread carefully when it comes to others because I know that one day that could be me and I certainly hope that others would rather want to get to know me than judge me before they said hello. Thanks for sharing this.
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Interesting post, Jana. I love Mr. CBB’s attitude of compassion here – he’s so right about us not judging others. But there was a local story here in the Twin Cities about the beggars on the road, and it was discovered that many of them easily make 40k a year, tax free! Even if they made 20k tax free, that’s not bad money for a job that you really don’t need transportation for or nice work clothes. I’m sure people bring them lunch on a semi-regular basis as well, discounting the need to spend money there. When we want to help those less fortunate, we’ll head to the homeless shelter or battered women’s shelter. It makes us feel like we’re having more of an impact.
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