There have been an abundance of “every kid should” posts floating around the blogosphere lately (specifically this one. Which is what completely set me off. It’s been that kind of week). While I get that the intent of the posts is to…well, I’m not sure what the intent of the posts are. I read them and I find myself saying “Hmm. Yes. OK. That’s an interesting idea. But what about parents who don’t (fill in the blank)?” I want to say to these authors “Hey, your middle class is showing” and I really want to know how they arrived at the decision of what “every kid should do” (of course, I don’t).
Basically, I’ve been getting irritated at these posts. Mainly because they’re nothing but nonsense designed to make parents feel terrible if they don’t do those arbitrarily picked activities (you know, because parents aren’t already made to feel guilty about enough things). So I figured I’d come up with my own list of 7 things every kid should experience. The activities are just as arbitrarily picked but I can assure you that they are a bit more attainable for all parents than snow or farm life:
- Being read to. I don’t care if it’s at the library for storytime, from a teacher, at daycare or from his own parent. Every kid needs to be read to. There is something that happens in a kid’s mind when he’s listening to a story that is just amazing to watch. Not only that, a book can inspire quality conversations.
- Playing in a park. When most people envision a park, they envision sprawling field, replete with fancy equipment, picnic tables and children, laughing and screaming in their own natural habitat. But it doesn’t have to be that fancy. Some of my favorite park memories are at the park next to my grandparents’ apartment building in Queens. That park was concrete and had about 4 pieces of equipment (most of which were covered in graffiti). But it was my favorite.
- Having a birthday party. I believe that birthdays are incredibly special and deserve to be celebrated. What’s nice is that a birthday party doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. A few dollars on cake mix and icing, some handmade signs and decorations, and family and friends. Even something that small will make a kid feel special and honored that her birthday is recognized and cause for celebration.
- Getting in trouble. Kids need to push boundaries, test limits and all that jazz. But they also need to get in trouble when they are wrong. Coddling and ignoring their behavior and poor choices does no good. Every child needs to experience getting into trouble. And suffering the consequences.
- Coloring (or any arts and crafts). Put crayons in a kid’s hand and see what she creates. It’s almost magical. In fact, if a kid in your life starts coloring, join her. See what you create. And see how relaxed you are when you’re done. Almost as relaxing as a spa, and substantially cheaper, too.
- Music. There is a reason VH1 is (or was) trying to save the music. It’s that important.
- Having a pet. I concede that pets are a huge responsibility and parents usually wind up assuming the majority of their care. But I fully believe that kids should have a pet. If you don’t want your kid to have a pet of the 4 legged variety, get him a fish. Having a fish still teaches responsibility and all that good stuff. And there’s no mess to clean up.
I think having a pet is important for kids too. It also can eliminate fear of animals – animals are a natural part of life and seeing kids scared of dogs and cats makes me sad.
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Completely agree. I’m crazy about animals, and growing up I had dogs, cats, hamsters, and horses. They were a great learning experience and taught me compassion and empathy for other living things. It makes me sad to see households completely devoid of any life other than humans.
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I definitely want a pet at some point for our kids, but that’s easy for me to say because my wife would have to do most of the work…
Definitely agree on the list though – and especially like the cheaper ones 🙂
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I’d add one-on-one brunch or lunch with a parent – I’m thinking of when I was little and with my mom.
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These are great ideas! My daughter loves being read to. It’s her favorite 🙂
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Arts and crafts were an integral part of my day when I was growing up. I naturally assumed that all kids regularly enjoyed colouring/ crafting and recently when we baby-sat my husband’s young siblings planned a bunch of crafts to do with his sister (brother was optional since I thought he might prefer to play video games with his brother). I was completely surprised to see that little sister had 0 attention span for arts and crafts! She liked the idea of doing them but couldn’t really understand the concept of sitting down and completing a small craft project. I totally think this is important and have now realized that maybe this is something that has to be taught/ encouraged and doesn’t just come naturally to kids like I had sort of thought.
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I have to agree with everything on this list. I grew up with everything you listed and I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. I wish I had a pet for longer than a few months, because it would have taught me about responsibility, but nonetheless I think every point on this list is something a child should not miss out on.
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Totally agree – and all these things are very inexpensive if not free. My favorite memories as a kid were all on this list. Except instead of a park we played outside in the yard or woods. My parents also made a commitment for the family to eat dinner together as much as possible – especially during the school week. It was always important to them and kept us very close as a family.
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I agree with most, but when the kids are older if they want to take care of a pet i will consider it. It is enough to have to take care of them and change diapers, i dont want to have to pick up poop round the yard….we would likely get a dog if anything!! I got the name though picked out already. Winston
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This is a great list! Having a pet is great for a kid.
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We do all of the above except the whole pet thing. I do take them to the zoo on a regular basis. That counts right? I’ll add play a sport or any extracurricular (music, dance, arts etc.) You can find a cheap option through your city parks and rec. So many great lessons are learned including discipline. They can also see the result of their personal effort they put into the activity.
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Yup, mom did all of these with me. I think my passion for pets stemmed from childhood so I’m a huge advocate of kids having, and learning to care for pets.
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That’s a great list, Jana. It definitely can be used for people of all incomes, much unlike some other lists I’ve seen. 🙂
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Kids need to have exposure to old people (“old” meaning older than their parents — grandparent age). Growing up, I had 2 grandparents and an elderly couple across the street that my mom and I often visited. I became accustomed to their slow movements, folksy expressions and medical recitations. My son did not have these relationships — he lost 3 of his 4 grandparents before the age of 2. His remaining grandmother was a youthful sort, whom he saw only once or twice a year. But he could not relate to the other retired people in her complex. Now, in his early 20s, he seems completely unaware of elderly people and shows no inclination to spend some time just listening to them. This is a shame. He is in for a very rude awakening when he gets into his 50s.