For most of us, we feel like we’ve had a good, productive day if, at the end of the day, we’ve worked, socialized, cooked, exercised, read, made progress on a project, helped the kids with homework or some combination of the above. We’re told that we need to do more in a day than we can handle because, let’s face it, busy is the new normal. We’re expected to be busy. And when we’re not, we feel like there’s something wrong with us. Like we’re doing something we’re not supposed to. Like we’re breaking the rules.
Like we’re a failure.
If you’re anything like me, that feeling of failure is a huge trigger for depression. And that depression means it is almost impossible to be busy. You can’t bring yourself to do anything, never mind anything extra. You don’t care if the laundry piles up or the house is dusty or if you miss deadlines at work. It makes no difference if you forget to bake something for your kid’s school party or if you bail on plans with your friends.
And you certainly don’t give a crap that you don’t give a crap. However, on the days you can muster emotion, you actually do care that you’re not engaging in life. You do care that you’re productivity has hit zero.
You want it to get better because you know that life can’t–and often doesn’t–stop for depression. There are a number of us who have to keep plodding through when all we want to do is hibernate. So how can we get it done when we just don’t want to?
Here are a few tips:
- Redefine “productive”. The traditional definition of productive cannot apply when you’re in a depression. Which is why, when you’re feeling that way, you need to redefine what productive means to you. Scale back your expectations for yourself, acknowledge what you can do and…
- Forgive yourself for what you can’t do. It’s hard to have any energy left for cooking or going to the gym or working on side projects when it takes all your energy to shower and get dressed. It’s okay not to be able to do everything you might normally be able to do, and you need to remind yourself of that. Depression is an asshole and it thrives on taking from us what we value. Usually that’s self-esteem and motivation. Understanding that makes it easier to extend the forgiveness we need to get through.
- Ignore your to-do list. It’s okay to ignore the big, major projects, plans and goals you’ve set for yourself when getting out of bed is deserving of a parade. If you’re like me, you set ambitious goals that, when you’re depressed, only make you feel worse. Put the list away until you feel better. If you really need one, create one with things like brush teeth. Shower. Put on clean clothes. Small, easily achievable tasks. Also…
I want to punch everyone that does this. - Stay away from Facebook. Particularly those friends who consistently boast about their to-do lists and all they accomplish in a day. While we know that most of it is image construction, it doesn’t make it any less difficult to read and it certainly doesn’t help you feel productive. And seeing those posts makes you feel like you need to compete in a race you’re not healthy enough to participate, driving you further into your depression instead of finding a way out.
A bonus tip: if you’re feeling particularly bad on a given day, and you’re trying to get things done yet you find that a) what you’re doing is crap or b) working is actually making you feel worse, then do this: stop. Just stop what you’re doing. Put it down, put it away, turn it off. If you work out of the house and can leave your job for the rest of the day, do it. Leave. Get away from the task and the environment.
Then do something that makes you feel good. Doesn’t matter what it is. Because sometimes, stopping and switching gears is the best gift we can give ourselves and our productivity.
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[…] Ways you can still stay productive with depression […]
Love this! I have depressive tendencies and I am really hard on myself. This is a good list for me!
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Happy to help!
This really resonated with me. Thank you so much for writing this post and sharing. It’s a great reminder for those of us that can get down on ourselves very easily. It’s hard enough to stay positive, productive, and motivated when you’re putting in hard work towards a goal and not seeing immediate results or successes – when you struggle with depression on top of everything else, it can be crippling. Again, great post, and thanks for sharing 🙂
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Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂
You’re right–it is hard to always stay positive and productive when you constantly feel like you’re failing at your goal, particularly if you struggle with depression. I love what The Bloggess says–depression lies. She’s right, too. That’s something I always keep in the back of my mind, especially when I’m having a really hard time.
When I went through a severe depression, I ended up disabling my Facebook account. It was a huge relief. No more sitting at home crying while looking at past relationships, or present parties I wasn’t invited to, or future events I dreaded. Once I started feeling a little better, I logged back in and decided after 5 seconds that I didn’t miss it at all and deleted my whole account completely. No regrets.
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I waffle back and forth about deactivating my personal Facebook account for many of the reasons you listed. It’s definitely not good for a person in a depressive state of mind so see people constantly bragging about how amazing their lives are when you feel like yours is shit.
I wrote about it a little here (http://www.lesliebeslie.com/2012/08/15/the-great-technology-eschewing-how-i-started-living-for-myself/) but I found myself communicating more often and on a deeper level with my friends after deactivating Facebook. Instead of considering a “like” as communication, I was able to email friends or push us to get together more often. Then when we got together, we both had lots of things to say. I was also able to talk about my sad feelings and more important life happenings with a friend in an email than I ever could on Facebook.
I prefer those kinds of connections as well. And I guess I’m lucky that I have them, which is attributed, at least in part, to the fact that I consciously cultivate them. I’d rather have 5 authentic relationships that 500 Facebook ones.
I don’t spend a ton of time on Facebook because it mostly just annoys the crap out of me.
I think FB can be a mood killer regardless of depression. It can actually make me feel depressed even if I was in an OK mood.
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I agree. Facebook is definitely a mood killer. I don’t think there’s been a time I’ve gone onto my personal page and felt better when I was done.
honestly, Facebook is boring for me now. I only go on when I’m bored but it’s getting less exciting. And like you said, half of the time it’s people bragging about how awesome their life is so it’s frustrating.
I also would add that it’s important to praise yourself for what you did get done. Sometimes it’s hard to do so when there’s so much to do but getting some tasks done is still an accomplishment, especially when you’re down and all you feel like doing is watching a marathon of Law and Order and eating Chinese food delivery.
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FB is outright depressing. I have deactivated mine countless times and keep coming back 🙁 You offer timely advice, when depression sets in, its certainly best to step back and focus on other things while avoiding FB and blogs by A-listers who get some much done in a day and are happy to share that.
At those times I like watching comedies and other LOL stuff…laugh so hard I end up snapping out of the plateau 🙂
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I recently just stopped making To-Do List to help battle my depression. It was a big step for a type-a freak like me. I have to say I am more productive without a damn list haunting me and pointing out my failures than I ever was mapping out my entire day.
I actually sat down to make one last night for the first time in forever and I couldn’t do it. It was so depressing.
I know planing is essential but I am enjoying the just doing part for now.
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