31 Steps for Feeling Happier, Step 4: List your accomplishments

How’d you do on yesterday’s challenge? Are you feeling a little empowered? How about a little better about yourself and your appearance? Did you remember to include the amazing stuff about your personality, too? Was it as difficult for you as it was for me? I’m pretty sure that little exercise took me roughly an hour. What strikes me the most interesting is that if I asked a friend or my husband to create that list, not only would it take them half the time, but it would probably be way more extensive.

That’s definitely something to think about.

We’re moving on from that, though. Although today we’re also going to write another list. Like a bucket list only not. I don’t have a bucket list. I don’t even know that I believe in bucket lists. I mean, I do in a way, I just don’t classify them as “things I want to do before I die”. I just list them as things I want to do or accomplish at some point in my life. I redefine it mainly because I have a huge fear of death and honestly, it’s not something I think about or even like to talk about. I don’t handle it well, either, when it happens.

So we’re going to stop the death conversation.

Right. Now.

The other aspect of a bucket list that I don’t care for is that it bogs you down thinking about the stuff you’ve yet to do. When I think about all that I haven’t done, it’s easy to get sad or angry or annoyed and it makes me feel like I haven’t done anything. Then the depression shame spiral starts, particularly as I see more and more people my age who’ve accomplished so much (Peyton Manning, anyone? How about John Greene, writer of The Fault in Our Stars?) and then I start to think “even if I create my bucket list, I’ll still never be that successful” or “how are we the same age and they’ve done so much and I’ve done nothing”.

Which is bullshit.

Well, it’s not bullshit that I didn’t do those things. That’s actually true. It’s bullshit that a) I think I’ll never be that successful and b) that in 36 years of life, I haven’t accomplished anything. It’s also bullshit if you think the same thing about yourself. Because we have done stuff. Lots of stuff. Important stuff. And for today’s task, we’re going to make a list of that stuff. In other words, today’s task is to write down a list of our accomplishments. You can include anything you want on that list: places you’ve traveled, education milestones, relationship milestones, financial goals achieved (ex., are you debt free? Do you have a 6 month emergency fund?), career achievements, etc. Anything you’ve done that you’re proud of is an accomplishment and you need to write that down.

When you’re done writing that list, take a moment or two to reflect on what you’ve achieved. It’s probably more than you think. And how awesome is that? I’d say it’s pretty awesome. And by the time you’re done writing and reflecting, your mindset should start to change from “look at all that I still need to do” to “look at all that I have done!”

While I’m not a huge believer in living in the past, reflecting on where you’ve been is a great reminder of just how far you’ve come. It’s like giving yourself a stamp of approval or a permission to say “I am better than I was 15 years ago and if I’ve done all this, what’s to stop me from doing more?!” Which is kind of the point of today’s exercise. Just for today, even if you stop doing it tomorrow, I want to you to focus on just how far you’ve come and praise yourself for all that you have done instead of concentrating on what you haven’t. And then use that as a way to empower yourself to do more.

Note: Although I don’t like the idea of a bucket list, I do like the whole idea of 101 things in 1001 days or whatever it is the kids are coming up with these days. It’s way more specific and optimistic, too. So, when you’re done writing your list of accomplishments, go ahead and create one of these as a bonus. I’m going to try, too. Most likely while I’m binge watching Sons of Anarchy this weekend. Anyone else watch it? I really don’t know why I waited so long because it’s fantastic and also when did Lloyd from Undeclared get hot? Regardless, if you don’t watch it, this should be number 1 on your new list. At least in the top 5.