I might have done a post like this before but I can’t remember so I’m doing it again and maybe one day I’ll go back through all my posts and delete duplicates because I really need to clean up this little blog space of mine.
And now, for your reading pleasure, here’s a list of things I can’t do:
Whistle. Also, the sound of whistling makes me crazy. #auralassault #itmightbejealousy
Snap my fingers. It’s even more embarrassing when I meet a child who can and shows me up. #noonelikesashowoff
Drink wine. I could at one point. Then there was an incident. It involved a Home Depot bucket, barfing on my neighbor’s lawn (sorry, Dave and Krista), and passing out in a bar’s bathroom. #didnthappeninmytwenties
Cook a pie from scratch. And I have tried. The expression “easy as pie”? All lies. #storeboughtisfinesometimes
Understand more than 6 consecutive words in any Beastie Boys song released after 1990. I usually don’t have a problem understanding song lyrics. Their songs mystify me. #butisingalonganyway
Fall asleep without reading at least 10 pages of a book. My day doesn’t feel complete unless I’ve read at least a few pages and not reading makes it even more difficult to sleep. #readingisfundamental
Go a day without quoting a movie. #itsaproblem
Do a smoky eye, curl my hair properly, or use bronzer. This is why I look pale and tragic, my hair is always a mess, and I have worn my eye shadow the same way since roughly 1992. #butthebigbangsaregone
Use modern day slang and sound acceptable when I do it. #toooldtocare
Reach things in high places. #shortpeopleproblems
Run or jump. #bigboobproblems
Not get excited about my birthday. It’s next Friday and I’m already planning all the free things I’m going to get. #freeforthewin
Now that you know some of my limitations, tell me some of yours. What can’t you do?
Linking up for #hashtaghumpday