I know some of you guys who read this here blog are pregnant or trying to become pregnant so in the spirit of wanting to help my fellow women out, I figured I’d drop some parenting knowledge on you since in my almost 10 years as a mother I’ve picked up a thing or two (even though much of the internet tells me I’m less of a mother because I only have the one kid but fuck them and also, I do know some shit). Hope it helps.
The single most important thing you can do as a parent is this: DO WHATEVER THE FUCK FEELS BEST AND RIGHT FOR YOUR FAMILY.
That is it. That’s legit all you need to do.
Breast feeding vs. bottle feeding.
Daycare vs. staying home.
Vaginal birth vs. C-section.
Jarred baby food vs. making your own.
Disposable diapers vs. cloth ones.
Comfort them vs. let them cry it out.
Private school vs. public school.
Co-sleeping vs. sleeping in a crib (although, a caveat. If you want co-sleep, please research how to do it safely. And always, always, back to sleep)
Sedan vs. minivan.
Small house vs. larger house.
Losing the baby weight right away vs. taking a long time (or never).
The list goes on and on and on and on. There are so many choices and variables to consider and most of the time, it’s difficult to pick which direction you want to go (pro parenting secret: most of it is trial and error anyway) and once you do, someone is bound to tell you you’re wrong and then spend 20 minutes pontificating on why you’re wrong. Fuck those people. They don’t live in your house.
Also, spending time on Pinterest and many of the mommy sites can be overwhelming and at some point, make you feel completely inadequate because you’re not that crafty or remember to do those “I’m 4 months old today” pictures that are trendy and all over social media (pro parenting secret: Not posting a monthly photo update is not screwing up so please, for the love of whomever you believe in, don’t beat yourself up if you forget or just simply don’t want to. You are raising or growing a human being. That is time consuming enough without having to pose for pictures). But I assure you, you’re not nor will you be. You know what you’re doing and what you want to do and once the baby is here, you will know what is right for your child even if half or more of the time it doesn’t feel that way. Seriously, more than once I looked at my daughter when she was an infant and thought “what the fuck am I doing? How badly am I screwing up right now?”
I’m sure I did plenty of things wrong. Still do. But she survived and she’s doing quite fine. Because I listened to myself, my instincts, and, as the one spending the majority of time with her, I knew what she meant when she cried (and yes, rest assured, you will eventually understand what all those different cries mean) and I learned what comforted her and made her happy and that’s what I did. And that’s what you’ll do, too. There’s a steep learning curve but you’ll get there. And you’ll be a great mom.
OH. One more thing. Your child does not have to have an Instagram ready nursery or outfits in order for you to be a great parent. Most of that shit is staged anyway.
P.S. I know I didn’t really mention dads in this post and honestly, I didn’t for a bunch of reasons. But. If the dad is around and willing to help, LET HIM. Really, if anyone is around and willing to help, let them (well, obviously within reason. Safety first). Get some fucking sleep. Eat a decent meal. Have coffee with a friend. Read a book. Just because you’re a mom now doesn’t mean you’re no longer a human being.