I am decidedly not a trendy person. I don’t wear trendy clothes or use trendy language (and often have to use Urban Dictionary or rely on the kindness of others to explain such things to me) or have trendy home furnishings or anything else. I like what I like and I stick with it. That works for me.
That said, I might occasionally partake in something trendy. Like, I watched Stranger Things on Netflix this summer. I know who Chrissy Teigen is. I am waiting for The Girls by Emma Cline to come in at the library. So, I’m not totally living in my only little Jana sized bubble. However, there are a number of trendy (or maybe they’re not even trendy anymore. I don’t know) things I have not nor will I actually do.
- Bulletproof coffee. This is essentially coffee with butter in it. I feel like Paula Deen had something to do with this trend because I’m confident she’s in cahoots with the butter industry (is that a thing? I feel like it’s a thing) but seriously. Butter. In coffee. No, thank you. If I’m going to put butter in something, it’s going to be a cookie.
- Contouring/nontouring. So, more work for makeup. Not going to do it. I have my 10 minute routine and unless I’m being photographed for some professional reason, I’m not adding anymore time to it. Maybe not even then. Hard pass.
- Tiny houses. FUCK THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW. I get that it’s environmentally friendly and economical (unless you have one of those pretentious Tiny Houses like on that show Tiny House Nation which I watched for approximately 4 minutes before I went all ragey) and a wonderful, practical solution to homelessness but unless you want me trading my tiny house for a jail cell, I’m not living in one. I need my space, y’all.
- Ombre hair. Not even sure if this is still a thing but I have basically the equivalent of a long haired animal living on my head. My hair is dark and thick and long and curly (well, unruly, but let’s just say curly for now) and I can’t even imagine how much money and time it would take to ombre my hair. I don’t want to sit still that long for anything that’s not a book.
- Oil pulling. It sounds gross, it seems like it hurts, and I’m fine with a toothbrush and mouthwash. Sometimes I even floss! I know. I live on the edge.
- Those long, pointy, oval shaped nails that look like talons. OMG, how do you function with those? Like basic functions like buttons things or wiping or typing a text? Doesn’t all kinds of shit get stuck in them? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW (fellow old ladies, please tell me you get that). So I’ll stick with my short, square nails that enable me to go to the bathroom and not fear impaling my uterus.
- CrossFit. So this is all the rage right now. And I’m intrigued by it but I’m wholly uncoordinated and I’ve heard there’s the box that you have to jump on for one of the exercises and I’d most likely miss the box and fall and break something so skipping this one is more for my personal safety considering I was taken down by a rogue grape a few weeks ago. I can’t imagine CrossFit ending well for me.
- Bullet journals. Like CrossFit, I’m intrigued by this one. If I had ambition and remembered to actually keep track of shit, I’d be all over it. I’ve seen examples of ones for mental health and for books, not just for your daily life, and those seem like they’re more up my alley but they also seem like a shit ton of work and let’s face it, I’m pretty fucking lazy. So Goodreads and a daily planner and ye old blog it is.
How about you guys? Do you participate in trends or abstain? Or some combination?