Jana Says

Living life from cover to cover

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It’s my birthday and other stuff

Today is my birthday!!! It’s kind of crazy that I’m 37 because on a good day I feel 12, maybe 14. 

And since it’s my birthday, I get to do whatever I want. Which will probably mean taking a nap and watching a movie all by myself. I might buy lunch for myself, too, since I never do that. Treat yo’self, amirite?

I’m also linking up with Kristen which is something I’ve been meaning to do for months but keep forgetting. I blame the fact that I’m getting old. 

I belong to a Bichon Frise group on Facebook (because I have 2. Not because I’m crazy obsessed with the breed. Although that, too). Anyway, a lady in the group has been sharing photos of Josh, a Bichon mix who was brought to a kill shelter at 48 hours old because the breeder thought he wouldn’t get enough money for Josh. You see, Josh has a cleft palate and also, the breeder is an asshole. And some amazing lady rescued him, bottle fed him, and now Josh is in the running to be on the cover of Modern Dog magazine (totally sounds made up but it’s not). If you could vote for him, that’d be amazing. There’s no registering or anything. Just clicking a button.

I have become completely obsessed with the show Longmire. It’s not really even that good. I mean, it doesn’t totally suck, but it’s kind of like Law and Order: Wyoming. So dead sheep and horses along with the dead bodies. But it has Lou Diamond Phillips and he was in La Bamba and that’s enough for me. It’s also on Netflix so binge watching is possible. Which is pretty much how I pick shows now.


Speaking of TV, can I just express for a minute how upset I am that SouthLAnd was canceled and I can’t even watch reruns on Netflix or anywhere? Get your shit together, Netflix. This show needs to be on your service. Now.

I cleaned my desk and my office yesterday, except for my husband’s desk. Now I’m just sad that all my stuff is clean and organized but I still have to sit at his to use his laptop since mine has the blue screen of death and I’m too broke right now to buy a new one. 

I have the Oregon Trail app for my iPad and every time I try to play it, the damn thing crashes. I’m pretty sure I can fix the problem somehow but I’ve become too lazy to figure out how.

I mentioned Netflix twice in this post. Well, I guess technically 3 times. I need something else to talk about. Clearly.

I love that my computer’s Google doodle is a whole bunch of birthday stuff. I guess their complete invasion into my life and privacy has some benefit. Thanks, Google!

Have a great Thursday, y’all! You have my permission to do whatever you want today in the name of my birthday. 


Linking up with Kristin:


Friday Favorites, volume 4

Yay for Friday! And the start to a long weekend! Which is made even longer with my daughter having today and Monday off from school. Nothing like a 4 day weekend 2 weeks before summer break starts. Because everyone needs a small break before an 11 week one, right?


And while that not be my favorite thing, there are plenty of other things that are. Like:

Favorite song

I had a hard time choosing one because too many good songs. But I have a major obsession with Halestorm, and Lzzy Hale is just plain badass, so I went with one of theirs, Freak Like Me. Have a listen while you read the rest of the post:

Favorite frugal choice

Someone I follow on Pinterest pinned a post “9 Frugal Things I Did Last Month” and I am not above stealing good ideas so I am using it for this, a new regular weekly favorite I’ll be adding. This week, my favorite frugal thing was taking advantage of my free 30 day trial for Amazon Fire TV. I can’t wait to figure that shit out. And, living near an Amazon shipping facility is awesome because things get here fast. Like one day fast. It’s pretty spectacular.

Favorite funny #1

Tiny Vulgar Unicorn wins the internet this week. Maybe even this month. I don’t even know how to describe this except to show you (warning: it might be offensive but it is freaking hilarious). And make sure to read the rest when you’re done.


Favorite funny #2

Because farts are always funny. ALWAYS. And it also just occurred to me that I inadvertently made a shit joke as a prelude to introducing farts. I’m almost proud of that.

Favorite thing that happened to someone else


Congrats to my girl Steph from Life According to Steph on her Huffington Post Live segment! I’ve known Steph a LONG time and she’s always been one of the most well spoken people I know. I’m glad she got a chance to share that with even more people.
Favorite new product


I am on a constant quest for a good body lotion. There are some Body Shop ones that are great and Bath and Body is hit or miss and some of the drugstore brands aren’t so great. Then I tried Johnson’s Baby Creamy Oil when we were visiting my in-laws a few weeks ago and I liked it and it’s totally for adults I think and bought some and now I probably won’t use anything else. Hands down, best lotion ever. And Johnson’s people, if you’re reading, I do accept free stuff. Just sayin’.
And that’s all she wrote this week, friends. Enjoy your long weekend!
Linking up with Amanda from Meet at the Barre

Friday Favorites

Friday favorites, volume 3

It’s Friday! That means it’s time for another round of Friday Favorites with Amanda from Meet at the Barre (which has quickly become a must read around these parts)  

Friday Favorites
Favorite song

Of course, we’ll kick it off with my favorite song of the week. This week’s honoree is Theory of a Deadman’s The Truth Is…(I Lied About Everything). You know how people love to talk about Taylor Swift and her ability to shit on her exes in a song? Well, this song bitch slaps Taylor Swift’s attempts because this? THIS is how you do a breakup song. Warning: it uses some expletives and graphic language so if you’re at work, turn the sound down. Unless you work somewhere really awesome and they don’t care about that kind of stuff.

The Truth Is… (I Lied About Everything) by Theory of a Deadman on Grooveshark          


Favorite blogs

I wrote about a few of my favorites once before and now it’s time for the second installment. As a relatively new lifestyle blogger, many blogs that have been around awhile are brand new to me, and it makes me sad that it took so long to discover them although better late than never, right? Here’s this month’s list:

  • Another Housewife–written by my dear friend Jenniemarie whose ass I will kick if she doesn’t start working on her memoir soon, it’s a blog about her faith, her family, her struggles with depression (which I completely understand on a level I wish I didn’t), and her life in general. 
  • Voyage of the Mee Mee–I adore Amanda’s blog. She makes me laugh a lot and most of her posts have me blurting out “I wish I had thought of that” because she’s just so damn entertaining. Also, her use of GIFs is spectacular and I want to know where she finds them.
  • Vodka and Soda–another one who makes me laugh out loud and often. Plus she’s from Toronto so we can just add her to the long list of awesome things to come out of that place. Like Rush. I’m thinking there’s something in the water or some shot they give them at birth that just generates awesomeness. (Incidentally, the band featured in this week’s favorite song is also from Canada. The other side of the country, but still. What the hell, Canada?)
  • Eternally Wanderlyn–Lynsey’s series on Love Every Body is worth checking out her blog, and the rest is worth sticking around for. She’s another work from home/I hate pants/wannabe hermit so I feel that she and I are kindred spirits.
  • Life by Nadine Lynn–If I lived closer to Nadine, I feel that we’d hang out on a regular basis. We both love beer, have similar taste in music, and I think maybe her little dog Mac is a breed cousin to my crazy dogs. Plus, she has a 40 X 40 list and I’m totally going to steal the idea even though I have way less time to 40 than she does.


Favorite TV Show

We just got HBO back ($10 a month for a year? Yes, please) so we’re finally getting around to watching True Detective. Holy shit, y’all. That show lives up to ALL the hype it got and then some. I’m sad there’s only 8 episodes and we’ll be done by the weekend but O.M.G. What a well spent 8 hours. 


Favorite shoes I would wear if I could

As a short person, I enjoy a nice pair of heels. You know, so I’m basically the same height as everyone else. But once the heel gets higher than, say, 2 inches, I can’t walk. You might as well throw me onto a pair of stilts. Which eliminates a whole lot of shoes. Sadly. However, I’m seriously contemplating not caring because these are amazing.I mean, just look at them:



Found these on Rebel Circus. A site I like to visit often and one day hope to buy shit from.

Found these on Rebel Circus. A site I like to visit often and one day hope to buy shit from.


However, there is no way I’m paying $93 for shoes that will kill my feet. You can’t tell from the picture, but that’s a 4 1/2″ heel. No, thank you. I’ll stick with being short in flip flops and flats.


Favorite quote

I happened upon this as a temporary tattoo (I don’t know how. Pinterest is a weird little animal) but it’s a great quote anyway.

Have a great weekend, everyone! What were some of your favorite things of the week?

Shit my husband says, first edition

Voyage of the Mee Mee

I am so excited that today has finally happened! When I first saw this linkup via Life According to Steph, I knew immediately that my participation was mandatory but I clearly do not pay close enough attention and have missed it. For the last two months. But not this month. No, this month, friends, I will delight you with shit my husband says. And trust when I say, it's been worth waiting two months.

I had to narrow it down to about 5 of his biggest gems because barely a day goes by where I don't look at him and say something along the lines of “did you seriously just say that” or, more likely, “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

It's that bad. Then again, I say some pretty stupid shit so one day I might let him takeover and share my superior intelligence. With some heavy editing, mainly because the man sometimes spells his name wrong, and I want you to be able to read it. On the plus side, at least it'll be typed. The man has serial killer handwriting.

That's enough about that.

Let's get to the good stuff. Shit my husband says.

Gem #1

Husband: what appliance do you think is most like a person?

Me: what the hell kind of question is that?

Husband: seriously, what appliance do you think is most like a person?

Me: I have no idea.

Husband: a juicer. Want to know why?

Me: not really but you're going to tell me anyway, aren't you.

Husband: a juicer is most like a person because you put stuff in the mouth, liquid comes out the front, and the pulp goes out the back.

Me: I don't even want to know how and why you thought of that.

Gem #2

Driving past a local fast food restaurant, DogTown, husband says he wants to put on a crown, walk into the place and proclaim “I am The Lord of DogTown!!!”

Points for the skateboarding movie reference.

Gem #3

Another out of the blue husband proclamation–There are two kinds of people in this country. Felons and voters.

I had no response because he is not entirely wrong.

Gem #4

Husband: hey! Look what I can do! I can cross my toes over each other and now it looks like I only have three toes!

Me: why did you need to know that?

Husband: in case I'm ever in a situation where I only need three toes.

Gem #5

Husband: I was thinking about our teeth and the dogs and that if we had nano bots in our mouths, they'd be in the shape of snowplows.

Me: what is wrong with you?

Husband: what, somebody has to think of this stuff.

Me: and you designated yourself that person?

Husband (ignoring me completely): so the nano bots would go in and clean your teeth and scrape out the plaque.

Me: so what a dentist does?

Husband: they would replace dentists. The dentists would be in charge of the nano bots.

Me: now dentists are nano bot overlords? I can't take it anymore.

Bonus gem: He said this while folding laundry, knowing unmatched socks are one of my pet peeves. Of course he has to point out what he's doing and says “I don't match socks on purpose. It's my rebellion against maturity”.

And that, friends, is what I choose to live with. I'm pretty sure I'm crazier than he is.


42 things to do while watching TV

tv things

The other day, while looking through Pinterest, I saw yet another post spouting off about how TV is awful and a waste of time and the only way to be productive and engaged is if you just turn it off (the superior attitude she gave in the post is a whole separate topic and rant. Honestly, if you don’t want to watch TV, good for you. But please don’t condescend to those of us who do). While there might be some merit to what the post author was saying, I respectfully disagree with her. In fact, I believe there are plenty of things you can do while watching TV so you’re not just idly sitting on the couch (and if all you want to do is sit on the couch, go ahead. It’s your time, your life and you can do whatever you choose with it).

For instance:

Bloggy things

  1. Comment on other blogs or respond to comments on yours
  2. Write a post or two
  3. Optimize posts for Pinterest or SEO
  4. Check for dead or broken links
  5. Create an editorial calendar
  6. Schedule tweets and/or Facebook updates
  7. Create a new header or blog button
  8. Participate in a Twitter chat
  9. Help a new blogger (not sure how? I know a great program you can get involved in)
  10. Revise or update old posts to make them fresh
  11. Give your blog a facelift
  12. Do invoices for sponsorships, freelance work, ads, or services
  13. Finally start that eBook

Pioneer things

  1. Crochet, knit, sew, or mend something
  2. Map your garden
  3. Make soap or candles
  4. Prepare food (ex., pickles, bread, applesauce in the crockpot)
  5. Wash dishes
  6. Research essential oils or some alternative medicines that pioneers used
  7. Make homemade cleaners


Personal things

  1. Exercise (there are tons of workouts you can do during commercials or while watching a show. Or invent your own)
  2. Pay bills
  3. Fold laundry
  4. Batch cook or menu plan
  5. Read a magazine, a book, or create a reading list on GoodReads (while you’re at it, put some books on hold at the library or borrow some from the Kindle store)
  6. Do some online shopping
  7. Look for coupons (I do this with the Target Cartwheel app)
  8. Make a vision board
  9. Organize your Pinterest boards or actually make a project you’ve pinned
  10. Write out goals or a bucket list
  11. Plan/organize a party or family get-together
  12. Write thank you cards or cards in general
  13. Play a game
  14. Do a puzzle
  15. Create a workout, commuting, or road trip playlist or four
  16. Organize pictures
  17. Groom yourself–mani/pedi, dye your hair, face mask, remove your mustache (no judging here. You need to do what you need to do)
  18. Play with your pet
  19. Text a friend during a particularly interesting show and share the experience
  20. Clean the room you’re in
  21. Purge your closet or drawers
  22. Watch something helpful/educational like a TED talk or documentary 

The pioneers, from what I can tell, valued being productive over being busy. But they also enjoyed some downtime, particularly after a hard day of work. They relaxed with music, storytelling, and games; many of us relax with a TV show or two. But if you’re finding you’re hard pressed to get everything done in a day you need or want to, why not get some of it done while you’re in front of the TV?

What would you add to the list?