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Friday favorites, volume 3

It’s Friday! That means it’s time for another round of Friday Favorites with Amanda from Meet at the Barre (which has quickly become a must read around these parts)  

Friday Favorites
Favorite song

Of course, we’ll kick it off with my favorite song of the week. This week’s honoree is Theory of a Deadman’s The Truth Is…(I Lied About Everything). You know how people love to talk about Taylor Swift and her ability to shit on her exes in a song? Well, this song bitch slaps Taylor Swift’s attempts because this? THIS is how you do a breakup song. Warning: it uses some expletives and graphic language so if you’re at work, turn the sound down. Unless you work somewhere really awesome and they don’t care about that kind of stuff.

The Truth Is… (I Lied About Everything) by Theory of a Deadman on Grooveshark          


Favorite blogs

I wrote about a few of my favorites once before and now it’s time for the second installment. As a relatively new lifestyle blogger, many blogs that have been around awhile are brand new to me, and it makes me sad that it took so long to discover them although better late than never, right? Here’s this month’s list:

  • Another Housewife–written by my dear friend Jenniemarie whose ass I will kick if she doesn’t start working on her memoir soon, it’s a blog about her faith, her family, her struggles with depression (which I completely understand on a level I wish I didn’t), and her life in general. 
  • Voyage of the Mee Mee–I adore Amanda’s blog. She makes me laugh a lot and most of her posts have me blurting out “I wish I had thought of that” because she’s just so damn entertaining. Also, her use of GIFs is spectacular and I want to know where she finds them.
  • Vodka and Soda–another one who makes me laugh out loud and often. Plus she’s from Toronto so we can just add her to the long list of awesome things to come out of that place. Like Rush. I’m thinking there’s something in the water or some shot they give them at birth that just generates awesomeness. (Incidentally, the band featured in this week’s favorite song is also from Canada. The other side of the country, but still. What the hell, Canada?)
  • Eternally Wanderlyn–Lynsey’s series on Love Every Body is worth checking out her blog, and the rest is worth sticking around for. She’s another work from home/I hate pants/wannabe hermit so I feel that she and I are kindred spirits.
  • Life by Nadine Lynn–If I lived closer to Nadine, I feel that we’d hang out on a regular basis. We both love beer, have similar taste in music, and I think maybe her little dog Mac is a breed cousin to my crazy dogs. Plus, she has a 40 X 40 list and I’m totally going to steal the idea even though I have way less time to 40 than she does.


Favorite TV Show

We just got HBO back ($10 a month for a year? Yes, please) so we’re finally getting around to watching True Detective. Holy shit, y’all. That show lives up to ALL the hype it got and then some. I’m sad there’s only 8 episodes and we’ll be done by the weekend but O.M.G. What a well spent 8 hours. 


Favorite shoes I would wear if I could

As a short person, I enjoy a nice pair of heels. You know, so I’m basically the same height as everyone else. But once the heel gets higher than, say, 2 inches, I can’t walk. You might as well throw me onto a pair of stilts. Which eliminates a whole lot of shoes. Sadly. However, I’m seriously contemplating not caring because these are amazing.I mean, just look at them:



Found these on Rebel Circus. A site I like to visit often and one day hope to buy shit from.

Found these on Rebel Circus. A site I like to visit often and one day hope to buy shit from.


However, there is no way I’m paying $93 for shoes that will kill my feet. You can’t tell from the picture, but that’s a 4 1/2″ heel. No, thank you. I’ll stick with being short in flip flops and flats.


Favorite quote

I happened upon this as a temporary tattoo (I don’t know how. Pinterest is a weird little animal) but it’s a great quote anyway.

Have a great weekend, everyone! What were some of your favorite things of the week?

Shit my husband says, first edition

Voyage of the Mee Mee

I am so excited that today has finally happened! When I first saw this linkup via Life According to Steph, I knew immediately that my participation was mandatory but I clearly do not pay close enough attention and have missed it. For the last two months. But not this month. No, this month, friends, I will delight you with shit my husband says. And trust when I say, it's been worth waiting two months.

I had to narrow it down to about 5 of his biggest gems because barely a day goes by where I don't look at him and say something along the lines of “did you seriously just say that” or, more likely, “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

It's that bad. Then again, I say some pretty stupid shit so one day I might let him takeover and share my superior intelligence. With some heavy editing, mainly because the man sometimes spells his name wrong, and I want you to be able to read it. On the plus side, at least it'll be typed. The man has serial killer handwriting.

That's enough about that.

Let's get to the good stuff. Shit my husband says.

Gem #1

Husband: what appliance do you think is most like a person?

Me: what the hell kind of question is that?

Husband: seriously, what appliance do you think is most like a person?

Me: I have no idea.

Husband: a juicer. Want to know why?

Me: not really but you're going to tell me anyway, aren't you.

Husband: a juicer is most like a person because you put stuff in the mouth, liquid comes out the front, and the pulp goes out the back.

Me: I don't even want to know how and why you thought of that.

Gem #2

Driving past a local fast food restaurant, DogTown, husband says he wants to put on a crown, walk into the place and proclaim “I am The Lord of DogTown!!!”

Points for the skateboarding movie reference.

Gem #3

Another out of the blue husband proclamation–There are two kinds of people in this country. Felons and voters.

I had no response because he is not entirely wrong.

Gem #4

Husband: hey! Look what I can do! I can cross my toes over each other and now it looks like I only have three toes!

Me: why did you need to know that?

Husband: in case I'm ever in a situation where I only need three toes.

Gem #5

Husband: I was thinking about our teeth and the dogs and that if we had nano bots in our mouths, they'd be in the shape of snowplows.

Me: what is wrong with you?

Husband: what, somebody has to think of this stuff.

Me: and you designated yourself that person?

Husband (ignoring me completely): so the nano bots would go in and clean your teeth and scrape out the plaque.

Me: so what a dentist does?

Husband: they would replace dentists. The dentists would be in charge of the nano bots.

Me: now dentists are nano bot overlords? I can't take it anymore.

Bonus gem: He said this while folding laundry, knowing unmatched socks are one of my pet peeves. Of course he has to point out what he's doing and says “I don't match socks on purpose. It's my rebellion against maturity”.

And that, friends, is what I choose to live with. I'm pretty sure I'm crazier than he is.


42 things to do while watching TV

tv things

The other day, while looking through Pinterest, I saw yet another post spouting off about how TV is awful and a waste of time and the only way to be productive and engaged is if you just turn it off (the superior attitude she gave in the post is a whole separate topic and rant. Honestly, if you don’t want to watch TV, good for you. But please don’t condescend to those of us who do). While there might be some merit to what the post author was saying, I respectfully disagree with her. In fact, I believe there are plenty of things you can do while watching TV so you’re not just idly sitting on the couch (and if all you want to do is sit on the couch, go ahead. It’s your time, your life and you can do whatever you choose with it).

For instance:

Bloggy things

  1. Comment on other blogs or respond to comments on yours
  2. Write a post or two
  3. Optimize posts for Pinterest or SEO
  4. Check for dead or broken links
  5. Create an editorial calendar
  6. Schedule tweets and/or Facebook updates
  7. Create a new header or blog button
  8. Participate in a Twitter chat
  9. Help a new blogger (not sure how? I know a great program you can get involved in)
  10. Revise or update old posts to make them fresh
  11. Give your blog a facelift
  12. Do invoices for sponsorships, freelance work, ads, or services
  13. Finally start that eBook

Pioneer things

  1. Crochet, knit, sew, or mend something
  2. Map your garden
  3. Make soap or candles
  4. Prepare food (ex., pickles, bread, applesauce in the crockpot)
  5. Wash dishes
  6. Research essential oils or some alternative medicines that pioneers used
  7. Make homemade cleaners


Personal things

  1. Exercise (there are tons of workouts you can do during commercials or while watching a show. Or invent your own)
  2. Pay bills
  3. Fold laundry
  4. Batch cook or menu plan
  5. Read a magazine, a book, or create a reading list on GoodReads (while you’re at it, put some books on hold at the library or borrow some from the Kindle store)
  6. Do some online shopping
  7. Look for coupons (I do this with the Target Cartwheel app)
  8. Make a vision board
  9. Organize your Pinterest boards or actually make a project you’ve pinned
  10. Write out goals or a bucket list
  11. Plan/organize a party or family get-together
  12. Write thank you cards or cards in general
  13. Play a game
  14. Do a puzzle
  15. Create a workout, commuting, or road trip playlist or four
  16. Organize pictures
  17. Groom yourself–mani/pedi, dye your hair, face mask, remove your mustache (no judging here. You need to do what you need to do)
  18. Play with your pet
  19. Text a friend during a particularly interesting show and share the experience
  20. Clean the room you’re in
  21. Purge your closet or drawers
  22. Watch something helpful/educational like a TED talk or documentary 

The pioneers, from what I can tell, valued being productive over being busy. But they also enjoyed some downtime, particularly after a hard day of work. They relaxed with music, storytelling, and games; many of us relax with a TV show or two. But if you’re finding you’re hard pressed to get everything done in a day you need or want to, why not get some of it done while you’re in front of the TV?

What would you add to the list?

Friday Favorites, volume 2

Friday Favorites

I love the idea for this linkup. Sharing my favorite things and finding out what others like is not only fun, but it’s a great way to learn about new stuff I need to try or buy. So when you’re done reading what I’m loving this week, share some of your favorite things in the comments or on Facebook. 

My favorite stuff this week:

Favorite song: Let It Go. Nope, not the one from Frozen. I’m sick of that song. This one is by Cavo, is totally different than the Idina Menzel version (fun fact: she graduated from my high school about 7 years before I did), and was in one of the Transformer movies. Have a listen:

Favorite drink: Dogfish Head Tweasonale. It’s a gluten free, strawberry flavored beer and it is delicious. It doesn’t have that typical beer taste so if you’re not gluten free (like me) but don’t like the taste of beer, you should give it a try anyway. You won’t be able to stop drinking it. Which you probably should, though, because drink responsibly, friends. 

Favorite procrastination technique: Napping. There is seriously nothing better than napping, particularly with a nice, soft polka dot blanket like the one that lives on my bed. It looks like this:


Favorite quick recipe: Crockpot BBQ Chicken. Here’s what you do:

  1. Add roughly 3 chicken breasts, a bottle of your favorite flavor bbq sauce, some garlic powder, 1 tbsp brown sugar and a dash of red pepper flakes to a crockpot. 
  2. Cook for 4-6 hours on high (if breasts are frozen, can get away with 3 or so if thawed). 
  3. Shred chicken and eat. 

Favorite day of the week: Thursday. I’m pretty sure this dates back to college and $.50 mug nights at the Stone Balloon (RIP) but for some reason, once I make it through Thursday, I feel like I’ve finished a marathon. I never feel more relaxed than I do on Thursday evenings after the child is in bed. 

someecards.com - Thursday is Friday's hot older cousin.
Happy Friday! Enjoy your weekend! 

Hump Day Confessions: She’s got a lot of rage

someecards.com - I don't have pet peeves, I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!
This is my first time participating in Kathy’s Humpday Confessions and I’m so excited because I’m using it as a chance to air a few grievances. So grab a drink, friends, because here we go:

  • I confess that people with bad grammar send me in to a blind rage. Seriously, it’s “our” not “are” and it’s “a lot” not “alot” and yes, the thing with the line and the dot is an exclamation point. It makes me sad that you don’t know that, it makes me sad that you choose to share your sheer ignorance and stupidity on Facebook, and I can’t help it that I see red every time you show up in my newsfeed which is perhaps why I no longer see what you have to say. G-d bless the “hide from timeline” feature. Am I ignoring you? Yes. Yes, I am. Because it’s better for humanity if I do that.


  • I confess that I become irrationally angry when someone says to me “I have something to tell you but you can’t tell anyone”. A) thanks for the trust and B) who am I going to tell? Do you really think I’m that gossipy? Also, I’ve probably forgotten what you’ve said 10 minutes after you told me. I’m getting old and my memory’s not that good and my brain is full of other information like “remember to pay the mortgage” and “feed the child today”. And just so we’re clear, if I do remember, I will tell my husband. Particularly if it’s something really, really good. 
  • I confess that it makes me want to spit fire when someone who has never had kids dispenses parenting advice. Guess what? Babysitting is not the same as being a parent. Owning a dog is not the same as being a parent. Having a younger sibling is not the same as being a parent. You know how I know that? Because I’ve babysat, owned a dog, and have a sibling substantially younger than me. Absolutely none of that prepared me for being a mother. So unless you’ve been a parent, shut the fuck up and keep your advice to yourself. Or you will get face full of my fist. Metaphorically, of course. I’m not going to jail because you can’t shut your mouth.
  • While we’re talking about parenting, let’s address helicopter parents for a moment. I confess that want to body slam those assholes and while I have them pinned down, I want to shout loudly that hovering is not the same as advocating and you are doing absolutely nothing to help your child by smothering them, doing everything for them, and kissing ass with teachers and coaches to get your kids special favors. It’s one thing to be your kid’s champion and fight for them when they need it it. It’s another thing to swirl around every moment of their lives and never letting them do anything for themselves. They will not fall apart if they lose or get a bad grade on a test. I promise. Let them live and fail and win and make decisions and choices on their own.
  • I confess that sometimes I hate people so much that being a hermit sounds like a wonderful, viable option. Being a hermit means I don’t have to deal with entitled assholes on the road, in parking lots, in stores, at restaurants, or any other place where people might be. I can no longer hide my contempt for how rude and disgusting society has become. Manners are almost nonexistent, and forget about someone even extending common courtesy like saying “bless you” when you sneeze. It’s horrid and if the fact that I’m raising my child to be polite and have manners means I’m strict, then so be it. I can live with it. I’m not adding to the asshole parade if I can help it.


  • I confess that every time someone says “I forgot to eat today”, I want to take a sandwich and stuff it down their lying, underfed throat. You forget keys. You forget a birthday. You forget to call your grandmother. You do not forget to eat. And if you do, you’re fucking stupid. I am almost 37 years old. I have never once forgotten to eat. In fact, some days, I start thinking about lunch while I’m eating breakfast. Food is a basic necessity of life. You don’t “forget” it, asshole. We know you’re lying so just stop it. If you don’t want to eat, don’t. But don’t pretend like you forgot. 
  • This is the last one and it’s a big one so I hope you’re sitting down and not too tired. I confess that the overuse of the word “Nazi” makes me spit nails, steam shoots out of my ears, and I go to red faster than Spaceball One goes to plaid. Let’s be clear–the Nazis were an army of murderous soldiers assembled by a psychopathic, homicidal dictator who committed genocide. When people flippantly attach the word “Nazi” to the end of something as trivial as “grammar” or “cleaning” or “homework” simply because a person happens to be a stickler about those things, it cheapens and demeans what happened to the Jews, Catholics, gays, and everyone else Hitler decided he didn’t like. Wanting a clean house or for people to use proper grammar does not make one a Nazi. Killing people for how they were born or what religion they practice does. It’s an extremely powerful and emotional word, and it should be because as long as that word stays in our lexicon, people will be forced to acknowledge that the Nazis did (and still do) exist. By using it in a cavalier manner, it strips away its power. And I don’t think we’re ready for that yet. Or maybe ever.

So there you have it. Just a few things that make me angry. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest (and I have a pretty big chest which explains why this was so much). Next time, we’ll talk about what makes me irrationally happy. Because it’s all about balance.

What about you? What makes you so angry you want to punch a baby dolphin? 


Linking up with Kathy from Vodka and Soda

Vodka and Soda