Do you guys know the Limp Bizkit song “Break Stuff”? Yes? No? Think you do but you forgot? Pretending not to because it’s a Limp Bizkit song?
Totally understand that last one.
Regardless of how you answer the question, though, here’s the first verse:
It’s just one of those days
When you don’t wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
You don’t really know why
But you want justify
Rippin’ someone’s head off
No human contact
And if you interact
Your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
It’s just one of those days
That was my day yesterday. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong including an unexpected trip to get my daughter’s finger examined (middle finger, of course, because she’s my child. Except mine would get hurt from overuse instead of tumbling). Fortunately the finger isn’t broken (thank G-d for small miracles) but all the other things sucked a fat one.
Days like yesterday throw me for many days to come because I am a creature of routine and habit and to-do lists. I need organization and structure in my day, at least during working hours since the rest of my day is subject to chaos and when my working hours are destroyed, it’s hard to get myself back together.
I mean, I do eventually get my shit in check, mostly thanks to my foolproof 12 step plan:
Step 1: Overuse the word “motherfucker”. Scream many other expletives. Mostly at people who can’t hear me because the last thing I want is a rumble. I don’t need that Sharks vs. Jets shit in my day.
Step 2: Call the husband. Talk nonsensically and bother him at work for about 30 minutes.
Step 3: Avoid problems by scrolling through all the social media.
Step 4: Declare I hate my life and sketch out a plan to run away and live in a tiny house in the mountains away from everyone except my dogs and cat.
Step 5: Call the husband again. Repeat Step 2
Step 6: Eat dozens of Cheez Its or chips or something else bad for me. Seriously contemplate getting drunk in the middle of the day.
Step 7: Realize getting drunk in the middle of the day is, in fact, a terrible choice. Praise myself for making one good choice. Use it as a gateway to calm the fuck down and start refocusing.
Step 8: Put on a good playlist and sit for a song or two to center and get in a good place.
Step 9: Examine my initial to-do list. Prioritize and determine what needs finishing or attention immediately. Decide to work on that in the short time I have left during the day. Make a new to-do list, realizing that nothing I do is actually urgent and if it has to wait a day or two, the world will survive.
Step 10: Berate myself for overreacting. Berate myself for berating myself. Take a detour from work to eat more Cheez Its. Berate myself for that but tell myself that Cheez Its eaten while in the midst of a terrible day don’t count. Fill up a huge glass of water to cancel out the Cheez Its. Bring it upstairs because real work gets done in the office, not the living room.
Step 11: Sit down at the laptop. Remind myself that everyone has bad days, has unproductive days, and anyone who says they don’t is a big fat fucking liar.
Step 12: Accept all that happened, get over it, and move on.
Bonus step: Complete one task, no matter how small. Call it a good day.
The best part is, if you guys need it, my plan is totally free for you to use! It’s not foolproof and doesn’t always work but it’s mostly useful. Especially if you throw a nap or a few solid of hours of Netflix into the mix.
How do you guys get on track after a bad day?
P.S. There’s no podcast episode in the post today BUT you can listen via your favorite podcasting app! iTunes approved us!