Jana Says

Living life from cover to cover

Reflections on 6 years

Six (!) years ago today I hit publish on my very first blog post. I barely remember what it was about–something money related, since this started as a personal finance blog–and I remember being nervous as fuck that my writing was now out there for other people to read but I have never once regretted starting it (Since, you know, I don’t believe in regrets). Blogging has taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined. Not to mention the fact that I’ve met some incredible people, had some amazing experiences, and tried some things I never would have thought I’d try. 

But 6 years is a long time. 

I’m not even sure what I have left to say or do. 

I mean, I know I have plenty. And I want and need to keep saying it. But the blogging world has changed SO MUCH since I started and honestly, I don’t know if I can keep up. Because I don’t give a shit about stats or followers or creating Pinnable images or shareable content or or witty listicles or creating a product or getting sponsors or advertising or whatever it is people are doing now and I suck at catchy titles and SEO and even responding to comments. I JUST WANT TO WRITE. I want to make readers laugh or think or realize they’re not alone or help or some combination of those. Maybe even do things I haven’t thought of yet.

But all that is hard to do when you feel like you’ve become irrelevant. 

Okay, maybe irrelevant is the wrong word. Maybe private is a better one? I don’t know. I feel, lately, that what I have going on in my life isn’t anything people want to read about or I’m not comfortable sharing. Like, for the last 7 months, I’ve been working out and losing weight and I’m down just about 25 pounds. But I’m no weight loss guru, my workouts are whatever classes I take, and I cook the most boring foods around. Hard to turn that into anything worth sharing. And it’s not that I feel people wouldn’t be encouraging or supportive; in fact, I know it’s the opposite. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that anyone genuinely cares or that it would make a difference to someone else. 

See also: everything else in my life. Hence the quiet and inconsistencies. 

Perhaps this is the lingering effects of depression talking. It is, after all, a lying bastard I’ve been trying to shut up for the past few months. And I know that once the fog has lifted I’ll be back to whatever normal actually is. 

I appreciate all of your patience with me as I work through all of the shit cluttering my head. I know it’s been fairly morose around here when I have managed to string together a few sentences in a row. But I’m trying and while I can’t promise another 6 years, I do know that this isn’t the end. 

Yet. 

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11 Comments

  1. Audrey

    Congratulations on 6 years! And on being down 25 pounds! Way to go!

    I go through waves of “Is this even worth saying? Why would anyone care about my personal thoughts?” and “Maybe I shouldn’t be so transparent on the whole, worldwide web…”. I think it’s mirrored in what I write about sometimes, too. Totally normal. You keep being you and writing whenever and whatever you want to!
    Audrey recently posted…You Drive Me CrazyMy Profile

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  2. Ali A

    Congrats on 6 years! I totally agree with you (as usual) about how blogging has changed & how I don’t care about any of that stats/SEO crap either. I never did. But THEN, like a recent post of mine outlined, I don’t want to think no one cares and isn’t reading anymore, either. All I know is people like us need a forum and a creative outlet to express ourselves and however we want to use that and how often is up to us. I’ll be reading no matter what!

    Reply
  3. Rebecca Jo

    Oh lady – I so get it… it’s a shame that the blogging community does make REAL bloggers feel so inadequate when these are exactly the blogs I love to read. The ones that contain real life, real struggles, no posts just to earn a buck… I cant even keep up with all that is ‘required’ to be a blogger now. It still blows my mind that people make CAREERS of it. That to me just feels so funny… unless you want a reality show based blog, & then I’m in – because reality is all I’m about.

    So keep being you – you are exactly what some of us want to read.
    & congrats on 6 years – that’s no joke!!!

    Reply
  4. SMD @ Life According to Steph

    Happy six!

    Yay for 25 pounds down and health/exercise!!

    I think we all go through waves of it. The desire is definitely stronger for me some times than others…and right now, I feel like all I should be doing is blogging about the hell of the current administration so anything else is being diminished by that. I recognize that in my own writing and am just trying not to push.

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  5. Kristin Darhower

    These are so similar to my thoughts on blogging. If I don’t want to build stats, what’s the purpose (is what the current blog climate would have you believe).
    I blogged before all the nonsense came around and I’m hoping to outlast it.
    I think I feel like I’m at a standstill and maybe not that interesting because…? I don’t know. It’s a weird problem to have.

    I think many people would be interested in your weight loss strategy because it’s likely really practical!

    Reply
  6. Linda Sheridan

    You’ve done an awesome job❣️ I think blogging is therapy. I would love to start a blog. Maybe someday.
    Even if you help one person , it’s worth it.
    Continued Goddess speed❣️
    Love, Steph’s Momma

    Reply
  7. Brittany Pines

    Congratulations! 6 years is a long time. And blogging doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I’ve been doing it for about 9 years, on and off…I don’t have many readers or great stats but it’s there when I need it. The SUYB link-up has been amazing for me and I am so grateful to you & Steph for doing that!

    Reply
  8. Nadine

    Yay for six years of blogging! I have been around for five years and I feel like the blogging world has changed a lot too. To be honest, my favorite posts to read are the ones from real people about what they are thinking/feeling/doing. I care nothing about stats or SEO either and I dont think that any blog is irrelevant. Its your space for what you want to talk about! Congrats on the 25 pounds!!! I am trying so hard to get back on the wagon with healthy eating and trying to figure out a work out schedule and it is so hard. Its inspiring to see others succeeding!

    Reply
  9. Alyssa Ammirato

    Congrats on six years; I’m glad this shared hobby as introduced us to one another! So that right there is one awesome thing about blogging that keeps me sticking around. I agree that lifestyle blogging (or as I prefer to call it now, personal blogging) has changed so dramatically, and after a brief bout of trying to adapt to it, long ago I threw up my hands and resolved to just keep doing like I’m doing. It feels like I’ve built a small community of people I love to talk to, and I find that when I just look at it like that, opening up the page gets a lot easier.
    PS, good work on your weight loss efforts. It’s not easy, so feel free to use your space to brag about your hard work!

    Reply
  10. Christina

    Congrats on six years AND 25 pounds! Sometimes it’s nice to take a step back and just live. I agree with everything in your 4th paragraph. I don’t blog for any of those reasons either. I like it as a hobby and a place to talk about what I like or do, but I’m having a hard time getting personal too. When I finally did last week I got a lovely email from a random reader giving me parenting advice. Ugh. I really hope you stick around though!

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  11. Kimmi

    First off congratulations on six years!

    Next I know exactly how you feel! I feel like a lot of what’s going on in my life is private so I haven’t really been blogging at all. It’s not that I don’t want to share it’s just that I don’t think anyone would care. I too am not interested in sponsors or pick up a content or any of that junk I just want to write things down and share them. I don’t know if it might help someone because I know they’re a good blog post that it really helped Me. It’s just a weird world out there in Internet land.

    Reply

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