Friday favorites, husband edition

A few nights ago, my husband and I had this conversation. I should state upfront that I was laying in bed, half asleep, because it was almost midnight and we had just finished watching Sons of Anarchy and if you watch that show, you know how it exhausts you from all the emotions.

Husband: Are you asleep?

Me: No. I’m getting ready to run a marathon.

Husband: Okay, then. I’ll be in bed when I’m done powdering my wig for my meeting with the dignitaries tomorrow.

And, that, my friends, is a small glimpse into the mind of the man I married. The man I’ve been with for the last 18 years. The man whose 37th birthday is today (since I’m 4 months older than he, he loves to tell me that I a) robbed the cradle and b) will die first. I know. I’m a lucky lady).

Since I’m broke because, you know, I make no money, the only gift I could give my husband (who will not allow me to use his name because he’s crazy and paranoid and afraid that people will try to find him and then stalk him. And I’m the one with issues) was allowing him to take over my blog for the day. That’s a big deal, you guys, especially since writing is not his forte (he’s an idea man. I make the ideas make sense) and also, everything on the internet is forever. Which is more than I can say for the cake I might or might not bake. 

Anyway, I let the husband pick today’s favorites. What he didn’t mention in his favorites, mainly because he stuck to the structure I use, is that he also loves golf, Orioles baseball, Broncos football (even before Peyton Manning came on board), science, Kit Kats, coming up with the world’s worst jokes, bothering me with riddles that are impossible to answer, podcasts, and Jeeps. He also loves me and our daughter but that goes without saying. So does the fact that we love him back. 

And now, the rest of his favorites.

Favorite song

The husband does not like music as much as I do. In fact, he’s one of those people that probably could go for months at a time without listening to it which is just bizarre to me. However, when he does listen to songs, he does pick mostly good ones. I say mostly because when we first met, he owned Shaquille O’Neal’s CD. It’s one of his shameful secrets that you now all know. Feel free to mock. However, for his selection, he picked one of our favorite Mr. Greengenes Stone Balloon (RIP) staples, AC/DC’s “Big Balls”. 

Big Balls by AC/DC on Grooveshark

Favorite frugal find

We live in Delaware, home of Dogfish Head Brewery and at the main facility in Milton, they give brewery tours. We did that as part of our anniversary weekend this year. Also attached to the brewery is a bar/holding area and they give away 4 free samples of any beer on tap to every person who wants them. You don’t even have to be on the tour. You can just stop by after work and get your free beer. I’m glad we live over an hour away because he’d be home late. Every night.

Favorite book

The husband is not a big fan of fiction. He reads mostly biographies and magazines along with some books related to his industry (I call them textbooks. He disagrees). Occasionally he’ll read fiction. Specifically, Michael Crichton. And only Michael Crichton. He’s read through all of his books and picked this one as his favorite.

state of fear

Favorite TV shows

As far as TV goes, when it comes to picking a show we can agree on, Congress has an easier time coming to a consensus. However, we do sometimes find stuff we both like and then we watch all the shows on all the days and then we go back to fighting and that works for us. That said, some of his favorites aren’t terrible. They’re actually pretty damn good: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, Big Bang Theory, Sons Of Anarchy, Family Guy.

Favorite Internet reads

The husband likes to spend his time reading and reading the same websites, and also he likes to be a pain in my ass so instead of sending links to specific posts, he sent me general websites like people have time to check them out. But, if you do have some spare time, the husband recommends Mental Floss, Cracked, and The Oatmeal. Since I’m respectful of your time, I have a ton of links saved to share with you guys next week. 

Favorite quote

Challenge accepted. 

party hard







Favorite funnies

I have not vetted all of these. So…consider yourself warned. I don’t know what’s in them.



Thanks to the husband for sharing his favorites! He’ll be making more appearances, though I haven’t quite worked out the details yet. 

This is homecoming weekend at our alma mater and since we met in college, you think this would be something we’d attend with gusto. But, alas, it is not. In fact, this year we get to spend homecoming weekend dealing with cheerleading stuff. Again. So I’m glad we’re shaking it up a bit. However, we are going out to dinner at a restaurant with actual cloth napkins! I guess that’ll have to make up for everything else. 

Have a great weekend! See you on Monday. I’ll be returning with another parenting post so stay tuned.

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Linking up with Amanda

Friday Favorites

Stuff and things, things and stuff

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a brain dump like this and I figured with all the serious posts this week, it might be a good idea to lighten the mood around here. Let’s do that with examining what’s been going on inside my head lately.

  1. Why do crime/thriller shows always portray the murderers and criminal masterminds as (usually) good looking, intelligent, cultured, wealthy people? I mean, I get that they can be psychopaths, too, but these shows are seriously increasing my paranoia quotient regarding the upper class. 
  2. Speaking of my paranoia, a new cat has decided our backyard is its kingdom, terrifying our existing cat. They sort of got into it on Sunday and now I’m petrified my cat will get into a violent bloody fight with squatter cat and my cat will bleed to death (never mind the fact that my cat is inside 80% of the time).
  3. Having a cold is pretty much the worst thing ever. It makes you feel like shit but there’s absolutely nothing you can take to make yourself feel better, unless it’s NyQuil and I really don’t have time to spend in a NyQuil coma. Also, the sneezing part just sucks.
  4. I was a mystery reader in my daughter’s class this week. I read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day because I think even kids should read the book before they see the movie.
  5. Is anyone else doing NaNoWriMo next month? I am because clearly I have issues and like to pressure myself for no apparent reason other than maybe I think it’s fun.
  6. Tomorrow is my husband’s birthday. I have not bought him a gift, a card, or even thought about getting or baking a cake or any sort of dessert because he is the worst person to shop for and he drops no subtle hints or clues and if he does, I’m clearly too dumb to pick up on them. We are going out to dinner and he is guest posting tomorrow so at this point, that’ll have to do.
  7. Did you guys see the news that Rainbow Brite is getting the reboot treatment a la My Little Pony and The Care Bears? Did you see that Molly Ringwald is going to be one of the voices? The child that grew up in the 80s is rejoicing but my adult self knows it’ll probably be shit and ruin yet another sacred childhood memory.
  8. My 20th high school reunion is in May. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to go. High school was a fucking nightmare and I can’t justify paying to spend money to see people who won’t remember me anyway. But I am curious. 
  9. I’ve been trying to participate in a 21 day intentional blogging challenge, hosted by Jeff Goins. It’s not going well. I think I’m 4 days behind and I can’t find the most current task, let alone the ones I’m missing. I think maybe this was a terrible mistake.
  10. I finally jumped on the blog button bandwagon and designed one. I need to put it on my sidebar so anyone who likes me can grab it and put on their site (hint, hint). I’m pretty sure that’ll take me about 4 more months to do. #lazyass But here it is in case you want it now:
Jana Says

So now that you’ve had a peek inside my head, tell me. What’s going on in your life lately? Are you as scatterbrained as I am? Would you go to your high school reunion? 

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Linking up with Kristin


Defining success YOUR way

I want to start by saying THANK YOU to everyone who commented on Monday’s post. Your support and encouragement and thoughts mean more to me than I can adequately express. While I’m sure I have my share of detractors, having a group of supporters makes it that much easier to deal with those who don’t like me. I’m not exactly the toughest chick around but I’m working on thickening my skin. Because if I’m going to write and publish a book, I’m going to need it. I mean, you’ve read some of those Amazon reviews, right? Holy hell, people are cruel. I need to be able to handle it. So maybe it truly was a blessing in disguise that she and I had that conversation.

It’s all about the silver linings, right?

I like to think so. 

One topic that I didn’t touch on in Monday’s post was the fact that, throughout our conversation, she kept talking about different measures of blogging success–page rank, page views per month, email subscribers, Twitter followers, stuff like that. Things that definitely matter, especially when you’re like me and will be shopping a book to agents, but in the grand scheme of blogging, they’re just measurements. They’re not indicators of quality or community or even being interesting. They’re indicators that you know how to get people to like and follow and you’re good at drawing traffic. 

But when you get those readers and followers, are they really, truly reading? Are they sticking around? Do they support you? Have you formed relationships? 

Or do you treat them like a statistic? If you do, that’s okay. I’m only judging you a little bit not judging you at all. 

As for me, I don’t treat anyone like a statistic. Because that matters to me is forming relationships and connecting with people. I want what I write to mean something. I want readers to come away with feelings, even if that feeling is hatred mixed with contempt. The rest doesn’t matter. It’s not important to me to use SEO tricks and clickbait headlines (clearly. I mean, you’ve seen my post titles) vanity metrics to quantify my “popularity”. When I finish my book do I want people to buy and read it? Yes. Of course I do. I need justification for my global book tour. But I want people to read and buy the book because they like me. Because they like my writing. Not because I’ve bribed or tricked them (for the record, I’m not necessarily above bribing. Just ask my child).  

And the reason I feel this way is because, after 3 years of blogging, I’ve finally defined and come to terms with what’s important to me. What matters to me. And I bring all of that to my personal definition of success. Which is not a word that has a universal definition (I mean, yes, it has a dictionary definition but the real life, practical definition is way more subjective than what Webster says. The dictionary. Not the guy from TV. Although that would be awesome, too). 

See? He thinks you're doing just fine.

See? He thinks you’re doing just fine.

There’s nothing wrong with the traditional definition of success. But when you look at it objectively, we all have different measures for success, with blogging and with everything else. Because what I think is successful for me might not spell success for you. 

For instance, you might think success is losing 100 pounds. I might think success is losing a pants size. Both are fine. Both are successes.

You might think success is having 50000 newsletter subscribers. I might think success is having 100 newsletter subscribers. Both are fine. Both are successes.

You might think success is having the biggest, faniciest house on the block. I might think success is simply having my own apartment. Both are fine. Both are successes.

You might think success is having a multi-book deal through a traditional publishing house. I might think success is self-publishing my first and only book. Both are fine. Both are successes.

You might think success is having a million dollars in your savings account. I might think success is saving $15 per month. Both are fine. Both are successes.

You might think success is having a booked social calendar. I might think success is having one close friend I can count on. Both are fine. Both are successes.

What it all boils down to is this–perspective. Your successes and failures are based on your perception and definition of those words, and the history and goals you bring to the table that contributes to your definition of those words. And since we’re all different, we’re all going to bring different experiences which in turn leads to–you guessed it–different definitions. And to put your subjective definition on someone else isn’t fair.  

So don’t do it. 

I’ve tried 100 different ways to end this post on an uplifting, empowering note. But none of them seemed quite right. Instead, I’m ending with this quote. It sums up everything I’m trying to say.

create success


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It’s Wednesday so I’m linking up with Liz. No confessions this week but you should go read all the awesome ones that link up with Kathy. 

The Hump Day Blog Hop
Vodka and Soda


5 lessons learned from being told “you suck”

Jon Acuff talks about something he calls “critics math”. What he means by that is you could have 100 reviews of something–a book, a picture, your blog, whatever–with 99 positive and 1 negative and you will only focus on the 1 negative. 

I definitely know that’s true for me. 

Which is why, lately, I’ve been obsessing over how much everything I do totally and completely sucks. 

Because two weeks ago, I had a conversation with someone who [...] Continue Reading…

Friday favorites, volume 22

Guys. If you follow me on Instagram, you know this already, but yesterday I took myself on an afternoon date to see Gone Girl. The movie was absolutely fantastic. The casting was spectacular, Gillian Flynn did an incredible job adapting the book (probably because she’s the book’s author, too), and really, with Trent Reznor doing the music, you know the soundtrack kicked ass. I have never been so pleased with a book to movie [...] Continue Reading…